Look Past the Veil of Hate
by MyLifeIsEdwardCullen
Summary: All Human. Edward and Bella used to be best friends. Now they hate each other or so the other thinks . Will they realize what they’re missing out on and finally get together? Better than it sounds, give it a try!
1. Shock in The Parkling Lot

**Chapter 1: Shock In The Parking Lot**

**Bella POV**

_As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn!_ I woke up to my alarm clock singing Taylor Swift's song, Picture to Burn. I trudged out of bed dreading what would lay ahead for me today: another day of Forks High School, another day of Mike's flirting, another day of Alice's shopping requests, another day of Emmett's stupidity, and yet another day of Edward's hostility.

As I stepped into the shower, I thought over why Edward and I had become what we are- enemies. Why we still weren't what we used to be- best friend; we used to be the best of friends. We would have stuck up for each other when someone had insulted the other. Then one year Edward suddenly grew apart from me. He didn't talk to me, and when I tried, he just sneered. I remember that day clearly.

_He glared at me and laughed. Traitor tears were welling in my eyes even as I ran to my car._

_"Bella," Alice called while she came running after me. "Bella wait!"  
I didn't, I just kept running. I got in my car and drove home, Charlie's cruiser wasn't here yet so I was grateful. I dropped my bag in the kitchen and ran straight to my room, and this time, I didn't stop the tears as they came flooding. I didn't understand why Edward was acting like this. What had I done to him? I loved him.  
That night, I had cried myself to sleep and vowed to myself that Edward Cullen would never cause me to cry again, he wasn't worth my tears. A vow I couldn't keep. Tears welled in my eyes, I hastily wiped them away._

_He's isn't worth it Bella, He isn't worth it!_ I repeated to myself in my head.

I keep telling myself that, even when I knew that I was in love with him. Yes, I, Isabella Marie Swan, was in love with Edward Anthony Cullen. Although I knew he didn't feel the same way, I couldn't help but dream about those emerald green eyes at night. I also couldn't help falling for him. Yet, God hadn't punished me enough because I was constantly subjected to his mean behavior. Why, you ask?  
Alice Cullen.

Alice was my best friend; she was as well like a sister to me. Along with Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper considered me as their sibling, and I considered them as mine. Alice is with Jasper and Emmett with Rosalie, both were matches made in heaven. Even though I was the only single person of the group- the fifth wheel, I never felt unloved. The group had included me in everything they do: Cullen dinners, Cullen parties...you name it.

Alice, Jasper, Edward, Emmett and Rosalie were all adopted after Esme found out that she was sterile and couldn't have kids. Esme was my second Mum, while Carlisle was my second Dad; they had also considered me their daughter. A while ago I had realized that every Cullen loved me; except for Edward.

I stepped out of the shower and looked out of the window. It was sunny. Finally! I had thought. It was time that summer had came. I put Jack Wills Percival denim shorts on and a black Ralph Lauren sleeveless, cutaway, ruffle front top; I grabbed my Abercrombie cardigan fleece- in case I got cold, and I chose Miu Miu flats, since I was a magnet for the ground. I put on some eyeliner, mascara and blue eye shadow. I curled my hair that Alice had recently dyed it black since she thought I needed change. After I was done, I sauntered out to my Aston Martin convertible.

I live with my Dad, who was loaded, hence the designer clothes, and also the Cullen's. This was the reason why I had been subjected to being sent to my death- bed, also known as shopping, with Alice. As I drove to school, I tried not to think of Edward, to distract myself I listened to Tik Tok by Ke$ha on the radio and loudly sang along.

_'Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer  
Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here  
Now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger  
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger  
I'm talking about - everybody getting crunk, crunk  
Boys tryan' touch my junk, junk  
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk  
Now, now - we goin' till they kick us out, out  
Or the police shut us down, down  
Police shut us down, down  
Po-po shut us -  
Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, Imma fight  
Till we see the sunlight  
Tick tock, on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no  
Whoa-oh, oh, oh  
Whoa-oh, oh, oh'_

I pulled up to Forks, the music still blared from my speakers, as I parked in between Rose's red Mercedes and Alice's Yellow Porsche. I hopped out and locked my Aston Martin.

"BELLA!" I heard a pixie scream. I turned to see a blur coming towards me.

"Hey Alice," I said as I hugged her. "Hey Rose,"

"Wow! Bella, you look amazing," Alice complimented me.

"Yeah, Bella, you look totally stunning!" Rose exclaimed.

"Thanks," I mumbled while looking down.

"Bella, you're beautiful, when are you going to see that?" Alice said, lifting my head up.

They both constantly tried to convince me that I was beautiful. _Yeah Right!_ I scoffed. We walked to the Entrance, where I spotted Jasper and Emmett; I ran up to them and gave them huge hugs.

"Woo Bells, you look HOT!" Emmett all but shouted. I blushed, and Rose smacked the back of his head.

"Rosie, you know I just wanted to see her blush," Emmett said whilst laughed.

I looked up and saw them all staring at something. I followed their gaze and caught sight of a scene that felt like someone had ripped my heart from my chest, threw it on the floor and had began to stomped on it; all while laughing.

Edward was making out with his girlfriend. Well Blondie was lucky enough if he kept her for more than a couple of days- Edward was a player. Emmett and Jasper clenched their fists, and Alice put her arms around me. They all knew how I felt about him and loathed him for it. I leaned my head on Alice's shoulder as she led me inside to English.

The morning passed uneventful, and then soon lunch had rolled around. I bought the usual poor excuse for food that the cafeteria served and headed over to the Cullen table. I caught Edward's gaze and he glared at me. Instead of flinching like I usually I did, I glared back, which caused him to look hastily away. I smiled to myself; a smile that didn't reach my eyes. Alice saw our little exchange and had given me a sympathetic look; I just shrugged. I ate in silence as everyone else around me chatted animatedly. Once or twice I caught Edward looking at me. Whenever I would catch him, he would quickly look away.

In Biology, Edward didn't subject to the torture he normally does; instead he sat silent while we worked. I couldn't help wonder why he was acting this way.

The day continued on, and after miraculously surviving Gym, I walked back to my car to wait for Alice and Rose.

"Hi Bella," a voice sneered from behind me. I turned to face Lauren and her cronies.

"What do you want?" I asked, exasperated.

"So you think you actually look nice in those stupid clothes?"

_Oh no, not this again_. I was going to be forced to listen to Lauren insult me until Rose and Alice came and defended me.

"Lau-" I opened my mouth to retaliate.

"Leave her alone Lauren. She's much better off that you. At least she has a brain," a velvety voice said from behind me.

I spun around to face Edward glaring at, not me, but Lauren.

I was lost for words, and Lauren huffed and stomped off. I looked at Edward, his eyes were soft. Instead of doing the polite thing: saying Thank You and walking away, I stood there gaping at him.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he said worried.

He wasn't making fun of me, he wasn't insulting me, he was being nice. I was trying not to hyperventilate watching him in his Greek God glory; he took my breath away.

"Why are you being nice to me?" I blurted out.

"Because I'm sorry" he said sincerely and walked away leaving me standing in the parking lot, shocked and confused.


	2. Thinking

**Chapter 2: Thinking**

**BPOV**

I had lost all track of time as I stood there thinking, _what just happened?_ I was brought out of my thoughts by Alice and Rose waving their hands in front of my face.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked. She had obviously not seen the exchange between Edward and I.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Let's go..." I answered a little dazed. Alice gave me an are-you-kidding-I-know-you-better-than-you-know-yourself look, when I didn't answer she shrugged and let it go.

We all got in our respective cars and drove our separate ways, as today was the only day, miraculously, that Alice didn't drag me to the mall or play 'Bella Barbie'. I knew Alice would interrogate me about what happened soon enough so I enjoyed the silence as I drove home, yet the torturous silence forced me to think about Edward: his musical laugh, his twinkling emerald eyes. The way those green orbs were soft and full of worry as I stood gaping, I thought about the wonderful gentleman he was, when he wasn't being a jerk that is.

_Has he changed?_ The hopeful side of me thought.

_He's a player and a jerk Bella!_ The logical side thought

_But he was being nice!_ The other side argued.

My two consciences kept arguing like this. I groaned in frustration as I pulled up to my house. _I need a distraction!_ My subconscious was driving me crazy! I docked my iPhone into to my speakers as I got started on Charlie's dinner, and I let myself become completely absorbed into any song that came on. I found myself crying as I listened to Forever and Always by Taylor Swift and I had to quickly switch the song because it reminded me too much of the situation between Edward and I.

As I lay in bed later that night, I gave in to the part of me that wanted to think about Edward. I sobbed into the pillow as I remembered the good times we had when we were best friends, I remembered how every time I saw him smile I would find myself smiling too. I also remembered what a great friend Edward was.

"You're my best friend, Bella", he would say. "And you will be; forever and Always." I wailed as I remembered how mean he had turned after the summer vacation two years ago. I wondered what could have made him act that way. Was it something I did? Was something that I said? What did I do to make him run away from me? _Maybe, he's coming around. He stuck up for me at school today; maybe he's changed._ A small voice said in my head.

I smiled at the possibility, and then stopped myself. I wouldn't let Edward Cullen enter my life unless he has truly changed and was sorry; I would not be trampled on. _Are you sure he is actually sorry?_ A voice said.

_But he said he was sorry..._the other side answered confused.

_What if it was a dare or something?_ The voice asked. My heart sank as I considered the possibility. I shook my head; thinking like that wasn't going to get me anywhere. I kept thinking of Edward as sleep finally graced me with its presence.

I woke up to a gloomy day, and it seemed as though my mood mirrored the weather. Even though last night had sparked hope in me, I just couldn't find it in myself to be happy. I threw on a pair of light blue jeans, a loose-fitting _Rolling Stones_ t-shirt, and a pink Jack Wills hoodie, which made me look a bit fat but I didn't care. I have no one to impress;_ except Edward_. I quickly shook the thought away. I grabbed my long, sand Uggs boots and a granola bar as I ran out of the door.

When I stepped out of my car, I was surprised to see Edward standing alone leaning on his car. From what it looked like from here he was playing a game on his phone. _No Girl_. I didn't get my hopes up this soon. Alice , having stepped out of her Porsche, made her way over to me. She raised her eyebrows and indicated to Edward, I shrugged.

"So Bella, are you going to tell me why you were in such a daze yesterday?" Alice , as expected, interrogated. I sighed in defeat.

"Okay. So when I was waiting for you and Rose by car, Lauren came over to me and started insulting me", I started to explain.

"That bit-" Alice started to interrupt.

"Shush Alice , just listen. Then Edward came over and said, 'Leave her alone Lauren. She's much better off that you. At least she has a personality'. Then I asked him why he was being nice to me and he just said he was sorry and walked away."

I looked up at Alice and once in her life, she was speechless. Then as someone had pressed play, she sprang back to life rambling about how Edward and I were getting together and how we were_so_going to have a sleepover, causing me to chuckle.

" ALICE !" I all but screamed in her face.

"What?" she snapped out of her reverie.

" Alice , I don't even know if I want to be friends with him yet!" Okay, so that is a _total_ lie but Alice doesn't need to know.

"Bella, you are so bad at lying!" she exclaimed. _Darn it!_

"Okay fine! So I desperately want to get together with him! But we have to be friends first and he has to prove himself to me," I stated.

"Okay, whatever. We are SO having a sleepover on Friday! Will you come over Bella? Plea-se?" she pouted.

"Do I have a choice?" I sighed.

"Not really but I've decided to be polite and make people think that I'm actually giving them a choice," she smiled innocently. I chuckled inwardly.

Throughout the week, Edward sat alone at lunch, wasn't mean to me and according to Alice he was quite depressed at home. I was a bit sad that he hadn't talked to me since our encounter on Monday, and it hurt me whenever I caught his gaze and saw the sorrow in his eyes.

I drove home quickly after school to grab my pajamas, checkered red shorts and a green tank-top. As soon as I entered the Cullen Mansion I was pulled into a bone-crushing hug.

"Emmett; can't breathe!" I choked out.

"Oops sorry," Emmett smiled sheepishly. Alice pulled me upstairs to change into my pajamas.

"Nice choice Bella!" Alice winked.

"Uh okay," I said slightly confused. When we walled downstairs I noticed the boys had flannel pajamas on, which emphasized Edward's muscles. He wasn't bulky like Emmett, but he was still hot. When I saw that he was still sad, my heart ached. How I wanted to go over to him and wrap my arms around him; telling him that whatever it was that was bothering him would be okay. I wanted to tell him that I loved him and would always be here as his best friend, and it hurt to not be able to do that.

We all watched Saw VI together, and I was whimpering, holding onto a pillow for dear life.

"Boo", someone whispered in my ear, causing me to scream in response. I turned to see Emmett on the floor in hysterics.

"Ha-ha. Real mature Emmett!" I glared at him.

"Oh my God! You should have seen the look on your face, it was priceless!" he stood up, clutching his sides because he was laughing so hard.

Everyone soon went up to bed, and I was about to ascend the stairs when I realized that I hadn't seen Edward go up. I walked back to the living room looking for him; he wasn't there. I found him sitting on the back porch steps with his head in his hands.

"Edward?" I whispered. He turned to face me; I wish he hadn't because I flinched back from the pain I saw etched on his face.

"Bella..." he choked out.


	3. Best Friends Again

**Chapter 3: Best Friends Again**

**BPOV**

Edward looked so broken, I wanted to run to him and throw my arms around him, but I don't think he'd welcome that.

"Bella," he whispered again.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I sat next to him and wrapped my arms around him not caring what would happen next. He leaned into my embrace, and I felt hot tears trickle down my cheeks. He remained silent.

"Bella," he turned to look at me. He reached up and cupped my face in his hands. "I am so sorry for everything that I've done to you. You have every reason to hate me," Edward croaked and tear fell down his cheek. My heart broke watching him like this.

"But I don't; I don't hate you," my resolve crumbled._Damn it!_I lifted my hand up to his face and wiped the tear away.

"Really?" he looked at me like a child had just been promised his favorite toy. I nodded. _In fact I love you but you don't feel that way,_ I thought.

"Bella, I am so sorry that I was so mean to you," he started. "I don't know why I did what I did, but I've been living an empty life without you. You used to make me smile, and then you were gone. I haven't been truly happy since that; I realized that a few days ago. I also know you hate me being a player, but I've changed Bella. Will you forgive me, Bella? Please?" How could I say no to those pleading eyes; that musical voice?

"I forgive you," I replied.

"Oh Bella!" he pulled me to his chest in a bone-crushing-kind-of-like-Emmett hug. "Can I have my best friend back?" he questioned, looking deep into my eyes, which I frankly didn't understand because my eyes were just a boring, shallow brown. His eyes...well his eyes were an endless forest of green. I snapped back to reality.

"She had never gone anywhere," I said softly. "You just chose not to take notice of her." He hung his head in shame.

"I'm sorry", he mumbled. I simply stroked his hair and we enjoyed each other's company.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Hmm?" he looked down at me.

"In the last couple of days, why were you so depressed?" I looked down.

"Because I realized what I'd lost. I realized I lost my best friend," he brushed a stray hair out of my face.

We sat on the porch steps for hours, talking and catching up for the two years we've been apart. I didn't realize when I fell asleep but when I woke up I found my self in a peculiar position. I was lying across Edward's chest and he had his arms locked around me; we were still on the porch.

I heard rustling, giggling and, "HEY! What was that for?" Which was followed by, "SHUT UP or they'll hear us." _Well that's kind of iffy now_, I thought. I lifted my head to find four heads poking out of the bushes in the Cullen's back garden. Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper were somewhat spying on Edward and I sleeping. _What the HELL?_When Emmett realized that I was awake and had caught them, he ducked so quickly that he bumped head with Alice . Being as bulky as he is, it didn't hurt for him. Alice on the other hand was a different story.

"OOOOWWWW! FUCKING HELL EMMETT!" Alice screamed. She chased Emmett out of the bush and around the garden. "COME BACK HERE EMMETT, YOU GIT!" Alice sounded really mad and she barely ever gets this mad. If Emmett hadn't been spying on me sleeping, I'd feel sorry for him. I heard a chuckle and I realized that Edward was also awake. We both looked at our awkward position and stood up quickly.

I decided to relieve Emmett who running for his life around the yard.

"GUYS!" I screamed. That got all of their attention. "GAME OVER! I CAN SEE YOU!" Edward and I cracked up laughing at the horrified look on their faces. Rosalie and Jasper left the bushes and started to walk towards us.

"You better learn to sleep with one eye open, Emmett." Alice muttered before walking towards me. Emmett waited until Alice was outside a 10-meter radius before following. I raised my eyebrow at them when they were finally gathered in front us.

"Care to explain, guys?" I glared at them. They remained silent. Emmett leaned over and whispered to Jasper,

"Just because we interrupted her intimate moment with Edward,"

"I can HEAR you!" I exclaimed; we all laughed and we walked inside. Alice pulled me aside from the others.

"Okay, SPILL!" Alice squealed. Once I had finished explaining the events of last night, Alice shrieked and hugged me. "Awww Bella! Once I'm done with you, Edward will be head-over-heels in love with you!" I grimaced, thinking of another Bella Barbie session.

"Whatever Alice , now let me go cook breakfast before Emmett goes completely berserk!" We both laughed imagining Emmett going through food-withdrawal symptoms. _Not a pretty sight._


	4. Magical Makeovers and Scary Movies

**Chapter 4: Magical Makeovers and Scary Movies**

"YAY, FOOD!" Emmett yelled as he walked into the kitchen and saw me cooking pancakes. I snickered as the others walked in behind him.

"So tell me guys, what do you do when I'm _not _here to cook you breakfast," I quizzed them while flipping the current pancake.

"Well Esme usually cooks us breakfast", Emmett eyed the pancakes. He reached out to them and I swatted his hand. "When she's not here, like now, we just get you to come over," Emmett joked. I thumped the back of his head.

"These are REALLY good Bells!" Emmett said with his mouth when we finally sat down to eat. We all laughed and Rose just looked embarrassed.

"Bella?" Edward asked turning to me.

"Yeah?" I said aware that everyone was looking at us.

"I love the new look," he gestured to my, now, black and wavy hair that reached the small of my back.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "Courtesy of your sister, of course."

Once we had finished our pancakes Alice dragged me upstairs to dress me up for school. Once we were in her room, she turned to me smirking.

"Time to begin phase one of mission make Edward Cullen fall in love with Isabella Swan: Magical Makeover!" Alice said in her supposed MI5 agent voice. I rolled my eyes. She pushed me towards her bathroom telling me that she had already chosen clothes for me and there was no backing out now. I groaned as I walked into the bathroom not daring to look at the outfit she had picked out. My mind reeled once I saw what I had to wear. _NO WAY__!_ I thought_. That evil little..._

"Wear it Bella!" Alice shouted from her bedroom obviously noticing that I hadn't started getting changed yet. Well could you blame me. Okay, so sure, the outfit she picked looked hot, but also one that could get me killed. I pulled on the blue denim mini skirt which ended just mere inches below my butt. I felt like Lauren and her crony, the only difference was that I didn't pull up the already-too-short skirt any higher. As much as I hated to admit it, I loved the top! It was purple and sequins in a band around the neck. It had subtle front pleating and a draped hanky hem. I gasped when I put it on. It looked fabulous! I stared nervously at the shoes that she had given me, the part of my outfit which would get me killed. Little Miss I-can-get-you-to-wear-anything-I-want expected me to wear heels! Not just tiny ones either, they were purple open-toed high heels which had a crinkled effect. All in all they were nice, if they didn't drag me to my death! I slipped them on anxiously. I tried not to trip and land face down as I walked back to Alice . When Alice saw me she grinned like a child on Christmas.

"Bella! You. Look. Hot!" she gushed. I was about to look in the mirror when she blocked my way. "Nuh-uh. Not till I'm finished," I sighed knowing there was more to come. She sat me down on her dressing table. "Hmmm. I'm going to leave your hair as it is," she decided. "It looks nice." I sighed in relief, thanking God that she had bypassed that torture. I realized I spoke too soon when I saw her getting out her Christian Dior make-up kit.

" Alice ," I whined. "You're going way too overboard! I don't even know what we're doing today!" She simply gave me a look which said, 'shut it or you'll pay'. Alice put on shimmering purple eye-shadow which matched the top on my eyelids, also a bit of black mascara and eyeliner. She finished the look with some lip gloss.

"I would put blush on you, but you really don't need it," she teased. As if on cue, I felt blood rushing to my cheeks. She laughed. "Edward is going to die when he sees you!" she chirped.

"Well I hope not," I joked. "That would totally ruin our plan." We both snickered. She pushed me towards the mirror excitedly. My breath caught in my throat when I saw the woman in the mirror. Her hair was a wonderful color of black which went amazingly with her ivory, porcelain skin-tone. The purple eye-shadow brought out her brown eyes and made them seen brighter; her lashes were long and flirtatious. She had long legs which were on display due to the mini skirt she was wearing. There was one word for her- stunning. When I realized that the person in the mirror was me I gasped. I hugged Alice tightly and squealed,

"Thank you Alice ! You are the best friend ever!" We both hugged and squealed then Alice pulled away and handed me a jacket. It was a silver sequin deep V-neck blazer which sat on my hips.

"Leave it unbuttoned." Alice ordered.

" Alice ?" I asked.

"Yeah", she looked up from where she was doing her make-up.

" Alice , it will kind of ruin the sexy façade when I trip in these massive heels that you made me wear!" I exclaimed.

"Don't worry Bella, I'm sure Edward would be more than happy to get his hands on you when you trip!" she winked at me and I blushed.

"Now let's go show Edward Cullen, the sexy Swan!" I laughed at her uncalled-for enthusiasm. She hooked her arm with mine and skipped out of the room.

"Slowly Alice ," I chastised her. "I would like to get down the stairs alive." She rolled her eyes and slowed but still too fast for my liking. I had butterflies as a descended the stairs. I knew that Alice had taken ages to get me ready so everyone would already be downstairs and waiting in the living room. I held my breath as we entered the living room. Alice quickly ran into Jasper awaiting arms and sat on his lap. Rose and Emmett were already playing tonsil tennis; I made a face at them. That left Edward. I turned to see his reaction nervously. His eyes raked up and down my body, and then he smiled his crooked grin that made my knees go weak. Alice saw Edward's expression and grinned.

"Told you", she mouthed as Edward made his way over to me.

"You look beautiful, Bella," Edward whispered in my ear and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I leaned my head on shoulder.

"Thanks," I said into his shoulder. Alice cleared her throat and both sprang apart. I missed his arms around me, I fit into them like a jigsaw piece completing a puzzle.

"So guys, what are we even doing today?" I asked them almost dreading the answer. "Shop-" Alice started.

"No, anything but that," I interrupted her. Edward chuckled. "It's not funny!" I hit his shoulder, he rubbed it feign hurt. I rolled my eyes.

"How about we go watch a movie and then come back here and play games?" Emmett suggested.

"You know Emmett," I said. "That's the best idea you have ever had!" He grinned and was smug, pleased with himself. _Three, two, one..._

"HEY!" he shouted. We all cracked up laughter.

"Come on, we don't wanna be late!" Alice perked up. We all headed into the Cullen garage. Seriously, I swear this family has a bottomless pit of money! Each person in the family has at least two cars! Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice all got inside Emmett's Jeep.

"Would you like to ride with me Bella?" Edward questioned. I turned to answer him and got lost in his eyes. They were full of happiness, excitement and a hint of anxiety? "Bella?" Edward snapped me out of my reverie. I realized I hadn't answered him yet,

"I would love to." I said goodbye to Alice and the others and told them I'd see them at the cinema. As we walked to his car Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I smiled. He walked me to the passenger door and opened it._Always the gentleman_, I rolled my eyes but smiled nonetheless. He walked over to the driver's side and purred his precious Volvo to life.

I looked out of the window and half way through the ride I realized something; Clair de Lune was playing.

"Still into Debussy are we?" I teased him. He blushed slightly and muttered a 'yeah'. Edward had always been a fan of the classics, same as I of course. I also remembered that he used to play the piano and composed as well. "Do you still play Edward?" I asked him knowing that he knew what I was talking about.

"Sometimes, not much," He turned and smiled at me.

"Did you compose anything else?" He always used to fiddle around, but he had only finished one piece.

"I wrote one." he answered and glanced at me.

"Will you play it for me?" I asked nervously. He seemed hesitant but sighed.

"Someday", he answered simply and the rest of the ride was filled by a comfortable silence.

We decided to watch Saw VI. Did I say we? No, I meant the guys. We girls were forced into it. Edward got a massive bucket of popcorn that we could share, and I was glad he did because it ensured that I would be seated next to him. The guy that checked our tickets as we went into the screen looked me up and down. He grinned at me; I shuddered and shuffled closer to Edward. When Edward saw what the sick pervert was doing, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to his side. Edward glared at him, causing me to smile. Edward cares about me, which was enough to get me through the day.

"Thanks," I murmured to him.

"Anytime," His arm didn't leave my waist as we entered, I was surprised but enjoyed the feel of his strong muscular arm around me.

The movie was seriously disturbing. At one point without thinking what I was doing I hid my face in Edward's shoulders. Instead of pushing me away, Edward wrapped his arms around me so by the end of movie I was cowering in his chest; He smelt heavenly.

When the movie ended, I realized the position I was in.

"Sorry..." I mumbled as I untangled myself from his embrace. He simply smiled at me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked outside. I saw Lauren and her cronies glaring at me from my peripheral vision. I smirked.

"What do you think Emmett's going to subject us to when we get home?" I asked Edward as we stepped into his silver Volvo.

"I don't know but I don't wanna stick around to find out," he replied.

"Huh?"

"There's this place I want to show you Bella, will you ditch Emmett to go with me?" he pleaded.

"Of course," We drove in a comfortable silence listening to the radio. "So, where are we going?" I asked Edward.

"It's a surprise," he said looking over to smirk at me. I groaned; I hate surprises.

"Edward..." I whined, while he chuckled. "Please tell me," I begged.

"Nope," he said making a popping sound on the 'p'. "You'll find out soon enough." I crossed my arms across my chest and sulked, looking out of the window. My phone buzzed then. I had the iPhone 3GS but Emmett had taken the liberty of decorating the back of with little butterfly and flower stickers, which looked quite nice actually. It was a text from Alice :

_'Where r u? Emmett's driving us bonkers. Ali xx'_

_'Ditching with Edward, sorry :( B xx'_ I replied_._

Her response was almost instantaneous. '_Oooohhhhh! Where r u going? Hv fun! ;) Ali xx'_'

_'Idk where he's taking me. He won't say. B xx,' _I texted back.

_'Oh well have fun. U hv 2 tell me EVERYTHING wen u get home. C u l8r! Ali xx'_ I laughed. It's so Alice to want to know everything.

_'Ok will do :) haha B xx'_ I put phone my away in my pocket. Edward looked at me questioningly.

" Alice ," I said.

"Ah," he said understandingly and turned back to the road.

"We're here," he said after five minutes.

"Finally!" I exclaimed. Before I had the chance to open the door he was already there opening it for me. "Thanks," I said. As I stepped out of the car, I saw that he had parked on the edge of a forest. I felt butterflies in my stomach. "Hiking?" I said disbelievingly and turned to him. "Edward you know I can't walk on flat ground without tripping let alone in a forest!"

"It'll be okay," he said rubbing my bare arm comfortingly. I had taken my jacket off due to the heating in his car. My skin burned from his touch. I stood there gaping at him until I finally found words to speak.

"B-but Edward, I-I'm wearing heels," I stuttered.

"I thought of that," he said looking incredibly smug. He let go of my arm and reached into the back of his car. Once he emerged I saw what he was carrying, a pair of purple converses. "Thought you might need them," he said smiling his crooked grin at me. I was too stunned to speak. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks," I said as I started to take my heels off and slip the converses on. My lips burned from what I had just done and I felt the blush creeping to my cheeks. I chuckled at purple converses which matched my outfit. Alice wouldn't be too mad.

"Ready?" he asked as I finished putting on the converses.

"Yup," I replied. He offered me his hand and I took it gladly. "So now are you going to tell me where we're going?" I asked him as we began to walk into the forest, hand in hand. He shook his head and chuckled.

"Patience is a virtue Bella," he said soothingly.

"Which I obviously have never possessed," I countered. He laughed his musical laugh.

As we walked through the forest, Edward showing me the way, I had tripped quite a few times. Edward had never let me fall and now he had resorted to locking his arms around me so I couldn't fall. I wrapped my arms around his torso. I was beginning to think that I could last without tripping again and then I spoke too soon; I tripped, again.

"Bella," Edward groaned while laughing. "I will have resort to this now or we'll never get there." With that he grabbed my arm and flung me on his back, piggy-back style. "You better hold on tight, spider-monkey," he said as latched my arms around his neck being careful not to strangle him. I laughed at the name that I used to call him when we were younger. Then he ran, fast. It was like he wasn't even affected by my weight. It was fun moving through the forest quickly and not kissing the floor every five seconds.

Then he slowed and put me down. The view before me was amazing. We had stopped in a clearing; it was probably on high land because the sun was shining. The grass was a magnificent shade of green and there flowers everywhere. There was the distant sound of a stream running. The meadow was magical. I walked forward into the sunshine, I felt it warm up my bare legs and arms.

"Edward this is amazing," I whispered. I turned to see him sitting on the warm ground. I took a seat next to him and intertwined our fingers together. He rubbed soothing circles into the back of my hand. "How did you find this?" I looked at him, clearly at peace in this place.

"One day, I needed to think so I kept walking and walking in the forest and I came to this. Beautiful isn't it?" He lay down and pulled me down with him. I lay my head on his chest, feeling it rise and fall as he took steady breaths. He had one arm around me and the other by his side. His heart was racing, probably from the excitement of showing me this. I was sure mine was too. I felt bliss as we lay there on the grass being warmed by the sun.

"I've never showed anyone this, you know," he said. I felt his chest vibrate as he did. It was very pleasurable. "Only you," he finished. Right there at that moment, I felt hope, love, happiness, calm and bliss.

"I feel special," I said joking.

"You are," he said completely seriously. That shocked me. "You're special to me. And you always will be." I smiled ironically when his words from two years ago echoed in my head. _You're my best friend, Bella, and you will be, forever and always. _I decided then that I wanted to know why. Why he did what he did. I needed to know.

"Edward?" I lifted my head from his chest, reluctantly I might add. His eyes were closed. He was gorgeous, this living Adonis; his perfect high cheekbones and his expertly sculpted nose.

"Hmm?" he said as he opened his eyes and adjusted to the bright sunlight. I didn't want to disturb his moment but I had to do this.

"Edward, why were so mean all of a sudden that summer? There has to be a reason. Please tell me," I whispered the last part. He shut his eyes, reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. Something he did when he was in deep thought; he sighed deeply.

"Bella there was a reason for what I did; a very stupid, immature one that I regret very much. You didn't do anything wrong, don't worry. But I'm not ready to tell you that reason yet, I will tell you but just not yet. Please give me time," he explained. I nodded and lay my head on his chest again. _So it wasn't something that I did, then what was it?_This was going to drive me insane until he told me. I decided I wouldn't bother him with it again until he was ready to tell me. I would give him time and space. His regular thumping of his heart and his even breathing soothed my tangled nerves.

The sky had begun to darken,_how long have we been here? _I was about to voice the thought, but when I looked at Edward, I stopped; he was asleep. I was struck with awe. He looked so peaceful and in that moment nothing else mattered to me.

"Heaven must be missing an angel," I whispered. I traced my fingers over his closed eyes; the eyelids were a light lavender color due to his pale complexion. My fingers moved down to his cheekbones, stroking slightly. They moved to his forehead, down to his perfectly angled nose. I shivered in anticipation as my fingers slowly moved down to his lips. I would get to see what they felt like, something I had always wanted to. Well not against my own lips like I had always imagined, but against my fingers was probably the closest I would ever get. His lips were warm, soft and smooth. I had the sudden urge to kiss him, to feel his lips moving against mine. I snatched my hand back before I did something that would distance Edward and me. I just got him back; I couldn't let him go again. A sudden cold gust of wind blew through raised goose-bumps on my naked legs and arms. I trembled of the cold. Edward's eyelids fluttered open. _Shit_.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to wake you," I apologized to him. He smiled at me groggily, still not completely awake yet. I shifted my position so I was perching beside him and he sat up.

"It's okay. I could get used to this you know," he said now wide awake.

"What?" I said puzzled.

"Waking up with you next to me," he said grinning. I looked down to avoid him catching sight of my beetroot-colored face. "We should get going," he stood up and I nodded. I was still on the ground so he held his hand out. I gave it to him and he pulled me up and to his chest resting his hand on the small of my back. My heart was racing from our close proximity. Another gust of wind and I quivered. "You're cold," he said.

"No I'm fine. I'm-I'm okay", I said not being able to remain coherent with his gaze piercing me.

"Nonsense," he took off his leather jacket and coaxed my arms through the sleeves. "Better?" he asked once he finished. I nodded. Then it struck me that he only had a cotton shirt on and he would also be freezing.

"Edward!" I complained. "Now you're cold!"

"No I'm not", he countered. "I'm a man, I can handle it!" I laughed at him and playfully smacked his arm. "Ow!" he faked hurt and pouted. _He's so cute when he pouts._

"What? Can't the _man_ _handle_ it?" I stressed the words man and handle. He simply laughed musically and shook his head.

"Do you want to take the long way back or the short way?" his voice was teasing. I was confused. Then it clicked, he was asking if I wanted to walk and continuously kiss the floor or be carried. He obviously knew I'd choose the latter.

"Oh, ha, ha very funny," I frowned at him. He smoothed out my frown with his finger. My skin tingled with the contact. He moved hand up the stroke my cheek. I lost all train of thought then. My body was burning up, wanting more. He dropped his hand and my body instantly craved his touch. This worried me, how I can't even restrain from touching him. He pulled me onto his back. I hitched my legs around his waist and my arms wound themselves around his neck.

"Ready?" he turned his head so he was looking but I was caught of guard because his face was closer then expected. My breath caught in my throat. His face was an inch away from mine, close enough that I could just lean in and..._NO! Stop thinking this way Bella!_ I must have zoned out because said, "Bella?" worriedly.

"Yeah let's go!" I said internally slapping myself. By the time we reached his car the sky turned tenebrous. He gently lifted me off his back and unlocked his Volvo. He opened my door and once I got in he jogged over to the driver's side.

"Edward? Can I ask you something?" I said hoping he would not say something like, _you already did!_

"You already did," he said smirking. I groaned and laughed.

"I knew you would say that!" I said still laughing.

"So what did you want to ask?" he said now serious.

"Oh that. Well, it's kind of a favor. Please don't drive like maniac!" I knew he wouldn't consent but it's worth a shot.

"I do not drive like a maniac!" he defended as the purred the engine to life. He threw his head back and laughed. I smiled, realizing that I had made him laugh. It felt good to be the reason for the breath-taking smile on his face.

"Well Edward, when you drive 60 m/p over than the limit, you're considered a maniac!" I argued. He backed out from his parking space onto the street still laughing.

"It's fun! Your Aston Martin can go as fast as my Volvo. You should try it sometime!" he said enthusiastically. Every Cullen enjoyed speed, typical. I rolled my eyes.

"No Thank you! I like living!" I exclaimed. He laughed harder. I laughed along with him not being able to hold it in any longer.

"Well you can't enjoy living that much considering the rate that you trip!" he teased me. I looked away as I felt my face heat up furiously. _And, oh, I'm into you and, girl, no one else would do. Cause with every kiss and every hug. You make me fall in love. _I was saved by my phone ringing; I dug it from my pocket and looked at the Caller ID: Charlie. Charlie? What could he want? And since when did he learn how to use a phone?

"Hey Dad," I answered.

"Hey Bells, where are you?" his rough voice cam from the other side. For some reason I didn't feel like telling him where I really was: speeding at 100 M/H on Forks Highway . Oh yeah, he would be thrilled.

"I'm at the Cullens, why? Do you need me? I'll be back soon" I asked worried. I really hope he hasn't blown up the microwave again by putting the spoon in it with the bowl.

"Oh no I'm fine. That's why I called. I have to take a night shift tonight so could you stay at the Cullen's?" he said. It's so Charlie, not to trust me home alone. Edward looked at me questioningly.

"Charlie's working the night shift, so I'm staying at yours again," I explained and Edward nodded.

"Well this means Emmett gets to have his revenge," Edward sighed. _Uh-oh_. I had butterflies thinking of what was going to happen tonight. Emmett was going to make us play Truth or Dare; that was for sure because that is Emmett's favorite thing to do; embarrass people. Edward must have sensed my anxiety because he reached out and took my hand, and then started rubbing comforting circles on the back of it with his thumb. It worked because all of my worries melted away. Yet I couldn't help dread the dares he could make me do because I certainly wouldn't pick Truth in fear of him asking me to spill my feelings about Edward. An odd scene met my eyes as Edward pulled up to the Cullen driveway. All of the gang was standing outside. Emmett had his arms crossed across his chest with a I'm-gonna-get-you-so-bad-you-will-wish-you-never-ditched look smeared on his face. Rosalie was standing next to him with her hand on her hip examining her nails looking bored. Alice was bouncing up and down,_what a surprise_, with a you-wait-till-I-corner-you-alone look on her face. And then there was Jasper looking completely neutral. This made me crack up laughing but I suddenly remembered the torture that was to come and my laughter died quickly.

Let the torture begin.


	5. Sexy Dances and Movie Marathons

**Chapter 5: Sexy Dances and Movie Marathons**

Edward gave me hand a reassuring squeeze before stepping out of the car jogging to my side and opening the door. I smiled as I advanced out of the car to the already-waiting torturers. Emmett didn't have an irenic nature so I was very afraid.

"Bella! Since you missed out on our fun game this afternoon, we get to play it again!" Emmett smirked in my face. Edward smiled at me apologetically.

"Emmett it's not her fault, I asked her to come with me," Edward tried to take the blame on himself. Emmett didn't buy it, instead he scoffed.

"Yeah whatever; where did you guys go anyway?" Emmett demanded. I remembered back to what Edward told me, that he had not showed that meadow to anyone, so I imagine that he wouldn't like me to tell everyone. I tried to think of something and ended up spluttering and stuttering. Emmett raised a brow at me.

"Uh, we went to...we went to," Edward started looking at me for help. I desperately racked my brain for an alibi.

"We went to the park," I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Edward gave me a look that said really-park?-seriously? I gave him a I'm-sorry-that-was-the-first-thing-that-came-to-mind look apologetically.

"You two blew me off just to go to that _park_?" Emmett scrutinized. "Okay!" I breathed a sigh of relief that Emmett was so gullible but the others didn't seem convinced but didn't question further either. I looked over to Edward was also sighing in relief, I smiled and he smiled back. Once we were inside Alice dragged to me to the nearest closet. _Not Again!_

"So where were you really Bella?" Alice asked when were safely inside the cupboard under the staircase. She switched the light on; _even the underside of the staircase is nice. _I tried to look indifferent but she saw right through me.

"Okay fine, we didn't go to the park. We went to this amazing place but I can't tell you where because it's special and he hasn't shown anyone else, just me," I felt a strange sense of smugness when I said the last part.

"Oh-h", she squealed. "O.M.G! That is so-o romantic." I groaned at her reaction and her obvious jump-to-conclusion.

" Alice ," I whined. "Edward didn't take me there as a date or anything. We're just friends." _Even though the meadow was really romantic,_ but I wasn't about to admit that to Alice .

"For now," she muttered under her breath. I wasn't sure I was supposed to hear it but _too late_. We exited the closet and proceeded into the living room. Everyone was sitting in a circle in their huge room. Emmett was waiting eagerly. Edward smiled at me encouragingly.

"Let's get this over with", I sighed exasperated as I sat between Edward and Alice. Edward took my hand discretely and simpered. Alice raised an eyebrow at me looking at our linked hands. I shrugged.

"And you say nothing is going on between you two," she said under her breath loud enough so only I could hear.

"There isn't!" I hissed, _even though I wish so badly there was. _Emmett rubbed his hands together, ready to explain the rules of his retarded version of spin-the-bottle-truth-or-dare-edition.

"Okay so we're gonna play spin-the-bottle-truth-or-dare-edition," he said excitedly. _How did I guess?_, I thought facetiously. "So I'll go first and spin the bottle and whoever the bottle lands on is my victim. You have to do the dare or answer the truth otherwise there is a forfeit. The forfeit is to run down the school corridor completely naked. Oh and the dare cannot be illegal or suicidal. Got it?" he said obviously bursting joy at the chance to humiliate someone.

"Whatever, let's start," I mumbled unenthusiastically. Emmett barked out a laugh and spun the bottle._Please don't be me, please don't let it be me_, I prayed to the gods. I exhaled with relief as it landed on Alice . _Don't be too happy, it was inches away from you!_

"Okay Alice ," Emmett looked absolutely fullof glee. "Truth or dare?" Alice hesitated and fidgeted and I knew exactly what was going through her head.

"Dare." Emmett was the master of dares so this should be good.

"Okay, got it!" he exclaimed. "I dare you to wear sweats to school on Monday." Alice gasped loudly. I smirked, this serves the pixie right.

"You can't wear anything designer." Bigger gasp from Alice . "No make-up, no hair products and no fashionable shoes!" Alice was practically whimpering by this point. I laughed loudly and she glared at me.

"Watch out Bella, it could be you next," she threatened staring icily at me. Then she turned to spin the bottle to determine her victim. I prayed silently for it not to be me so I wouldn't have to suffer her wrath. It spun and landed Rosalie. _Phew!_ Alice frowned at her scapegoat; I could tell that she wanted it to be me as well. She turned to me and mouthed; _I will get you sometime_. I pretended to be un-phased but my grip on Edward's hand tightened.

"Truth or Dare?" Alice said bored. Rosalie pondered, looking equally as bored.

"Truth."

"What is the weirdest place you and Emmett have had sex?" Alice asked. Rosalie smiled; Emmett and Rosalie were a weird couple. They had no aversion whatsoever about talking about their sex lives in public. Rose hummed, thinking.

"I'm trying to think which is weirdest," Rose was still thinking. We all laughed. "Okay you guys know that changing room in Victoria 's Secret? There," she said almost with pride? Everyone laughed while I started at them, stunned. Gosh! Why can't they keep to their bedroom? Mind you, maybe sex is so uncontrollable that they can't resist. Not that I would know...Well I know for sure that Alice and Jasper have sex and they control themselves! She spun the bottle. I was to preoccupied by Rosalie's openness regarding sex that I completely forgot to pray for myself. It twisted until the head of the bottle turned to face me. _Serves me right for not praying!_ Rosalie grinned slightly and asked the dreaded question:

"Truth or Dare, Bella?" I was relieved that I was receiving the question from her, not Alice or Emmett. She would be nice, wouldn't she? What if she asks me to kiss Edward or something? As much as I really yearn to do that, he probably doesn't. I felt a sudden pang of self-pity realizing that all Edward and I would ever be are friends. I certainly was never going to tell him in the fear of the reaction which is inevitable. I took in a shaky breath and said, "Dare." She gave me kind smile and I instantly relaxed by Edward's hand rubbing soothing circles onto my hand.

"Well I dare you to call up Mr. Banner and tell him that he has a 1000 condoms order ready to collect in a British Accent." Everyone burst out laughing at Rosalie's dare, I for one was surprised that Rosalie was so...imaginative.

"Fine," I grumbled and looked at Edward who was in a fit of laughter. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my phone.

"Nice decor, Bella!" Emmett snickered, winking at me because he was to the one who had condemned to a phone with butterflies on it.

"Okay so what's his number?" I said sliding the bar on my phone across to unlock it. Alice reached for my phone and tapped it in.

"I already hid your number," she said handing it back. _How does she even know Mr. Banner's number? _I put it on speaker-phone.

"Hello," came Mr. Banner's gruff and tired voice from the other end.

"Hello sir!" I said sounding like someone who was actually English. I was pleased with myself, must be from watching X-Factor non-stop.

"Yes, who is this?" He fell for it! Alice nodded at me in approval.

"I am calling sir, to inform you that the order that you placed for a 1000 condoms is now ready for collection," I was trying to keep myself from falling into a fit of giggles. Everyone was obviously eagerly anticipating Mr. Banner's reaction, but what happened next, none of us expected.

"Please can I have it delivered to my residence?" he replied. For a second I thought he had caught on to our prank but he was completely serious. My mouth, like everyone else's, dropped open. I lost it then, I hung up and fell on the floor with uncontrollable laughter.

"OH MY GOD," Alice shrieked. My stomach was actually hurting from laughing so hard. Everyone was sprawled all over the floor. Edward was lying on his stomach laughing and I was resting my head on his back, trying to control myself splitting my sides. After everyone had calmed down, we sat in our original position.

"Oh my shit! What the hell was that? He was serious!" I exclaimed what was obviously on everyone's mind.

"I don't know but I was NOT expecting that!" Rosalie said. "Mr. Banner utilizes condoms?" Alice screamed and we all laughed again.

"Oh and by the way, loved the accent!" Emmett said.

"Your voice was genius Bella!" Jasper said.

"Well thank you! I'm a natural!" I said joking.

"You are," Edward whispered seriously in my ear. I smiled at him and took his hand, being discreet so Emmett wouldn't find another way to embarrass me.

"I swear, I will never be able to look at Mr. Banner the same again", I said. Emmett told me to spin the bottle so we could carry on the game. _The good thing about this, the bottle can't land me. Well it can but I don't have to do it._ The bottle turned and pointed at Emmett. Time for revenge! I knew Emmett would pick Dare, hence the title 'Master of all Dares', but I decided to humor him. "Truth or Dare Emmett?"

"Dare, DUH!" _I am going to enjoy thi_s... "Emmett, you can't touch, kiss, hug, or fuck Rosalie for 4 days. That means sleeping in separate rooms", I smirked at his horror-struck face.

"Bella!" he whined, "How could you do this? I'm like your brother!"

"I know. Which is exactly why this is enjoyable," I said to him.

"Good one Bella!" Alice high-fived me, while Rose just looked at pissed off._Sorry_, I mouthed. I knew it was unfair to punish her as well but oh well.

"Bells since your punishing me unfairly as well, can we start tomorrow?" Rose asked.

"Fine," I agreed. Rose perked up and she and Emmett ran full speed up the stairs. At least we know what they'll be doing tonight! I rolled my eyes because this was what was expected from them.

"Well that ends our game. Let's go play something else!" Alice chirped. Edward groaned but agreed. Alice and Jasper left to find games for us to play. I stood up and followed. Then I realized that Edward hadn't accompanied and made my way back to the living room. He stood with his back to me, I don't even know what he was doing. So I decided to startle him. I ran up to him, surprising myself because I didn't trip, and jumped on his back. He wasn't expecting this so we both fell on a heap on the floor. I was laughing and he was still in shock. He turned around so he was facing me and I was on top of him. The atmosphere suddenly turned awkward. I was pressed tightly against him.

"Jasper wants you to help him get the snacks ready," I broke the ice. I got up off of him and he stood dusting himself off. "Sorry I startled you," I apologized to him.

"It's okay," he smiled his bright smile at me pulled me to his chest. I lay my head on his shoulder and inhaled. He smelt like cinnamon and honey, his own unique scent. Alice chose that moment to walk in and we pulled apart. _She always has perfect timing!_

"Jasper wants you," she addressed Edward. Edward walked to the kitchen. She walked over to me quirking her eyebrows. "So what's up with you guys?" she asked. "You're all touchy-feely all the time." I just shrugged and hoped she let it go. No such luck.

"Bella, be careful. I don't want you to get hurt," she justified herself.

" Alice ," I sighed. "Edward's changed now and anyways, he doesn't want to be more than friends."

"That's what you think," she murmured so low that I'm not sure she even said it. I docked my iPhone in the speakers and pressed play on my playlist. The first song that came on was Sexy Bitch by David Guetta. Alice and I both instantly smirked. This was our song; we came up with a sexy dance to it when we were having a sleepover. I had to admit; even I looked sexy doing it. We nodded at each other started dancing. _Heaven forbid Edward come in._We flopped on the sofa when the next song came on, Decode by Paramore.

**Jasper POV**

Edward and I heard Sexy Bitch blaring from the living room so we tiptoed to the door and peeked inside. My mouth dropped at what I saw, I looked at Edward who was also having the same reaction.

Bella and Alice were dancing to the song looking so..._sexy. _ Bella was swaying her hips side to side with the beat of the music. Alice ...Oh I wanted to drag her up to our bedroom.

"Wow," Edward whispered. "Bella was sexy before but now she's so alluring." I loved Bella like my sister and I didn't want Edward to mess her up. Lead her on and then break her heart.

"Edward," I warned him. "Don't break her."

"I won't," he said and I could hear the honesty in his voice. "She's my best friend." I knew Edward felt more and I knew Bells loved him but they're both too afraid of rejection that they can't see clearly the bond between them.

"Did you know about this?" I said referring to Alice and Bella who were now dancing opposite each other grinding the air. Edward was drooling by now and I was pretty sure I was too.

"No", he trailed off, mesmerized.

**Bella's POV**

I looked up as Edward and Jasper entered the living room. They were staring at us, flustered.

"What's their deal?" I whispered to Alice . She simply shrugged. Then realization struck me, they must have seen us dancing. That explains the flustered looks. Then, being me, I blushed a deep shade of red and decided not to bring this out into the open. I avoided Edward's eyes and it seemed that he was avoiding mine, awkward. Alice must have noticed this because she said,

"Let's have a movie marathon!" We all nodded and settled down to watch all six of the Harry Potter movies. Jasper and Edward put the snacks on the coffee table. Alice settled in Jasper's lap on the floor wrapped up a in a blanket. Edward and I settled on the loveseat. I brought my knees up and hugged them. Alice popped the first movie in and turned off the light. I was more comfortable in the darkness for some reason. I wasn't watching the movie, but I was watching Edward. Who I could tell was watching me too, I smiled at him once my eyes had adjusted to the darkness.

We had gotten to the part where Hagrid tells Harry that he is a wizard when Edward took my hand and started stroking it. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms so I was half on his lap. I was grateful for the generosity so Alice and Jasper couldn't see us. I shifted so my head was on his lap and he strayed stroking my face and hair affectionately. _I could stay like this forever_, I thought laying in his lap.

"I'm glad we're friends again," I whispered finding it easier to speak because my face couldn't betray me. "I missed you." There, I did it. I let myself be vulnerable once again, I opened up to him again. I couldn't say no to him. I waited anxiously for his response.

"Me too, I can never live without you again," he said still stroking my hair. My heart swelled at that. I would take what I got from him, because that was enough to keep me going. To know that he cares about me is enough to make me smile. I snuggled closer into him. And we stayed like that, throughout all the movies.

I must have fallen asleep in Edward's lap during the course of the night, because I was in a half-asleep state as I felt strong arms lift me from the sofa. I was carried up the stairs and I heard a whispered argument. I heard a door creak open, and I was no longer in the strong arms that had carried me. I was placed on a soft bed. The figure that had lain me on the bed was about to turn, I, because I was asleep and did not think what I was doing, grabbed his hand.

"Please don't go," I murmured. I wanted to feel his arms around me again. The figure left my hand and for a second I was afraid that he had left me. To my immense relief I felt the weight shift next to me on the bed. I smiled when I felt the strong arms around me again. I was in heaven. "Goodnight Bella", the velvet voice said and started humming an unfamiliar tune. I drifted into a peaceful slumber in his arms_. I Love You Edward_.


	6. Confusing Actions and Sulky Couples

**Chapter 6: Confusing Actions and Sulky Couples**

I woke up to some sort of bright glare on my eyelids. _Ugh go away stupid light!_ I turned my head and suddenly the blinding light was gone. I could feel something rising and falling beneath me and I could hear steady breathing. After a while I realized it wasn't my own, it was too perfect. I felt something stroking my back; it was a soft gentle touch. Then realization hit me and I remembered where I was, who I was with and how I got there. My head was nestled into the crook of Edward's neck and I was lying across his chest. His hand was caressing my back and sometimes when my shirt would ride up his hand would come into contact with my bare skin making me shiver. I knew that he knew I was awake but I didn't want to ruin the moment where nothing had to be explained. I wish Edward and I could disappear off to our own universe, where everything was justifiable. Where I didn't have to explain why I held Edward's hand; didn't have to hesitate in my every action worrying that it was too much. A world where there was us; not an Edward and a Bella but an '_us'_; where Edward loved me. But that can't happen so time to enlighten Edward on my irrational behavior last night. I lifted myself from where I fitted perfectly and yawned. I heard a soft velvet chuckle and my eyes met piercing green ones.

"Morning", he cooed, his arms now wrapped around my waist making it impossible for me to move away from him. Not that I would want to.

"Good Morning", I stretched. "Edward I'm so-" I started to apologize for sleeping in his bed.

"Shh," he silenced me, "I don't mind. You know you hair looks like a haystack but I like it." I blushed at that and ducked my head.

"So Sleep well?" he asked with a knowing smile on his face. What does he know that I don't?

"Yes, you?"

"My sleep was good, well what I had of it anyways," he said the last part so low that I couldn't be sure that it was actually said.

"What?"

"You sleep-talk you know," he smirked before rolling off his bed and heading to his bathroom leaving me shocked and flustered on the covers._What did he hear? OMG!_ I stepped off the bed dazed and headed to Alice 's room. I slipped through the door and walked along the hall coming to Alice 's door. I turned the doorknob and suddenly I was on the floor. _Oh hello floor, I don't remember falling_.

"OMG!"

"What HAPPENED?"

"TELL ME!"

"Guys, if you get off I can tell you," I felt able breathe now they were off me. I walked over to the bed and sat down, taking a deep breath.

"Well what are you waiting for?"

"SPILL!" Rose and Alice were standing in front of me looking at me expectantly. Did they want something...Oh right I'm supposed to tell them what happened between Edward and me.

"Well nothing happened, I fell asleep in his arms. When I woke up he told I sleep-talked, but I don't know what I said. What if I confessed my love for him or something? Oh my god?" I was hyperventilating at this point.

"Bella calm down, seriously whatever you said was good. It just brings us one step closer to getting Edward to confess his feelings for you." Alice told me.

" Alice he has already told me what he feels. There is NOTHING ELSE LEFT TO CONFESS!" I exclaimed.

"Oh Bella, if only you could see,"

"See what?" Alice just shook her head. _See WHAT?_

"We're gonna be hanging at home today so we need a casual look," Rose was already deciding what I was gonna wear. I closed my eyes and leant my head back preparing for torture. Rose waved the clothes I was to wear in my face and pushed me into the bathroom. I looked at what was now a jumble of clothes in my hands. I was to wear a black-and-blue striped off-shoulder sweater dress with leggings. the dress had a wide neck and a side which hung off my shoulder. It reached just below butt. _Good call with the leggings Alice ._ The leggings only reached above my knees so I was still cold.

Once I walked out I was pushed onto a dressing table where my hair and make-up were tampered with. Alice gave a perfect smoky-eyed look and I had to admit that it looked sexy. Rose straightened my hair pulling it into a high ponytail but leaving two side-bangs on either side of my face, framing it. Alice handed me sand-uggs and I relished the feelings of comfort.

"Perfect!" Alice quipped once she saw the whole outfit. "Especially the whole off-shoulder thing, good call Rose!"

"I know right? Casual, sexy with a hint of allurance." I hugged them both and we headed downstairs to have breakfast. Alice and Rose walked off to the living room and I to the kitchen. I stood glued to spot when I saw who was in the kitchen, more importantly what he was wearing. Edward was leaning against the island in flannel pants and no shirt. My eyes automatically fixed themselves on his perfect, chiseled chest. He had a six-pack with a hint of an eight-pack forming. When I looked up Edward was also staring at my outfit. Our eyes locked with each other and we stood there very slowly Edward walked towards me and snaked his arm around my waist. Okay this was not a just friends behavior.

"You look gorgeous," he whispered. _So do you_. He chuckled and murmured, "Thanks." _Wait did I just say that out loud?_

"Yes", he snickered. I blushed a deep shade of red and studied the floor. He brought he finger under my chin and lifted it so I was looking at his eyes. Doesn't he know I get lost in them...too late. Slowly, he started to lean in a little; a very small amount that I can hardly be sure. He didn't move back when I moved in a little either. My gaze fell to his lips, his gorgeous full lips. I've wanted to kiss them for so long.

"Guys, Emmett's hungry so you're making break-OH!" Alice saw the scene and ran out. Like that helps, she's ruined everything now; stupid Pixie. Edward sighed and took his arm away from my waist.

"Let's make breakfast before Emmett kills us," he laughed.

"Yeah," I mumbled incoherently. We made omelets in a thick silence which was only broken to ask for a utensil or ingredient. What would have happened if he kissed me? Was he even going to kiss me? The silence was choking me. We put all the toast, beans, omelets, hash browns and drinks on the dining table and we talked to living room.

"YAY! BREAKFAST!" Emmett yelled before running to dining room.

"O-kay..." I raised my eyebrows and grabbed Alice as she left.

"Can I talk to you, Alice?" I gripped her arm and dragged her into the same closet he had dragged me into yesterday. I flicked on the light and turned to face her. The first time in my life, I have seen Alice scared. That softened me up a little, _a little_.

" ALICE !" I sighed exasperated.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," she apologized. Then I realized she had nothing to be sorry for.

"It's okay, it not your fault. I'm not sure anything WAS gonna happen anyway."

"Bella, seriously! He was SO gonna kiss you!" _Yeah right_, but she would never believe me and I'm not about to waste my breath.

"Whatever, let's go," I sighed exiting the closet. I sat on the soft, plushy dining chair next to Edward and he flashed a heart-breaking smile at me. I tried to grin with as much enthusiasm but I couldn't muster it up. His smile fell clean off his face, replaced with a frown. He took my hand and stroked it under the table.

"What's wrong?" he mouthed.

"Nothing, its fine," I mouthed back and squeezed his hand. The rest of breakfast was uneventful, except Emmett making loud chomping noises and talking full-stop with his mouth full.

We all settled on the squishy, comfortable leather sofas in the living room. Rosalie sat on Emmett's lap on a single seater. Alice did the same with Jasper. Edward and I...well we just sat next to each other on the same loveseat as last night. I pulled me knees up to my chest and leaned on Edward. Alice had turned on some Gossip channel where they're always looking for excuses to bitch about celebrities but Rose, Alice and I were involved in a discussion about New Moon while the guys stared at us incredulously.

"Oh my god! New moon was awesome but Chris Weitz SO didn't give the book justice! I mean seriously WHAT was up with ending?" I ranted.

"I KNOW! Totally! I mean EVERYONE already knows what's gonna happen at the end, so why the cliffy? Chris Weitz is such a douche!" Rose agreed.

"And Kristen Stewart is SUCH a bad actor. I mean her voice is so monotonous!" Alice complained. "But I totally love Ashley Greene!" I laughed,

"I know, seriously, but oh my god, when Taylor takes his shirt off; phe-w!" I fanned my face with my hand. Edward tensed next to me.

"TELL ME ABOUT IT! I almost fainted!" Alice was also fanning her face.

"If you think Taylor is hot, WAIT until you see Alex Meraz" Rosalie said.

"Who's he?" I questioned.

"He's Paul in the wolf pack, and he's so HOT!"

"OMG I love him!" Alice squealed. Jasper cleared his throat and I laughed. "Whatever, Jazzy," Alice dismissed while giving him a small peck.

"Why are you even so crazy about New Moon, anyway? It's just a film about vampires, werewolves and an idiotic girl in between," for the first time in his life, Emmett has said a sort-of intellectual thing. Alice had sharp intake of breath,

"It's not JUST a film! It's-" she was interrupted because something interesting caught her eye on the gossip channel. Everyone covered their ears as Alice literally screamed.

"OMG! Roslyn Campbell and Sahaj Kaur are moving to Forks!" She squealed.

" NO WAY ! SHUT UP!" I joined suit.

Sahaj was a famous singer, actress and model. She was so pretty. She had curves in the right places, long legs and confidence which would slap you hard on your face. She had black hair which was in loose curls around her oval face in the picture that was being shown on the screen. She was at the MTV Awards, wearing a strapless silver sequined dress. Smirking and showing off her bright smile. She was dating Robert Patterson, the vampire hunk and every girl lusted after her. Not me though, Edward is way hotter than him.

Roslyn Campbell was Sahaj's best friend. They had been so from they first time they became famous. Roslyn was absolutely gorgeous. When she walks into a room, heads turn and sharp intakes of breaths are heard. She is completely and utterly stunning. Roslyn had blonde hair which was straightened and she had a side-fringe in the picture that was on the screen. She was at the premiere of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; she was single and had every boy after her. Roslyn was wearing a one-shoulder dress which just reached mid-thigh. She was a singer and Roslyn and Sahaj had both done lots of singles featuring each other. They were both amazing women, AND THEY WERE MOVING HERE!

"I'm so excited!" Alice squealed. All of us girls were bouncing up and down in excitement. We were such big fans! We even went to lots of their concerts together. We all settled down once they started talking about Miley Cyrus. She is such a poser! Alice switched the channel to a movie channel, where 'My Sister's Keeper' was playing.

"I LOVE this film!" Rosalie exclaimed. All the guys groaned.

"Please don't make us watch this!" Emmett begged.

"Well, tough cookie, because we're watching it!" Alice said as she dimmed the lights and I leaned my head on Edward's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around my small frame. I had a strange sense of déjà vu. When we got to the part where the sister with leukemia dies in the hospital, I was sobbing very hard. Edward pulled me onto his lap and stroked my back. I leaned my head on his shoulder and cried into his neck. Alice and Rose were doing the same thing.

I quickly hopped off Edward's lap when the film ended and Alice turned the light back on. I cleaned my face of tears and was thankful for Alice 's water-proof makeup. Could she see the future or something? Creepy; Alice gave me a knowing smile. Then I remembered something.

"HEY! Aren't you guys supposed to be not-touching?" I remembered what I had dared Rosalie and Emmett to do.

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that!" Alice quipped. Emmett and Rosalie both looked sad but did not break any contact.

"Okay so starting now you guys can't touch each other until Wednesday midnight ," I explained.

"Bella! That's like Thursday!" Rosalie complained.

"Do you want to raise it to Thursday midnight ?"

"No ma'am," She bowed her head and we all burst out laughing. Rosalie and Emmett shared a long passionate kiss before Rosalie walked to the opposite end of the room, sat down and Emmett and she looked at each other longingly.

"Guys, its sex not a kidney; you can live without it!" I said to them and earned a snicker from Edward. Suddenly keys in the door could be heard, Esme and Carlisle are home! I hadn't seen them in ages! I ran to door before anyone even had a chance to blink and yanked it open.

"Esme!" I screamed as I flung my arms around her neck, she is like my second mother and has always considered me one of her daughters. She has never shown any favoritism between me, Alice or Rose. She treated us like equals, like I was their sister too. She dropped the shopping bags she was carrying and wrapped her arms around me lovingly and hugged me very hard.

"Bella!" she pulled back a little so she could look at me properly. "It's been two weeks since I last saw but it feels like forever!" Esme gushed while stroking my hair and patting it down in places like mothers do. Esme was like the rest of the Cullens, she was very beautiful. There was no other way to describe it other than pure beauty. She had caramel colored hair and had striking blue eyes to match. For a woman who supposedly has five kids, she doesn't look a day over thirty. I pulled away from her turned to Carlisle , bursting with joy at being reconciled with him again.

"Come here, kiddo!" Carlisle opened his arms for me and I jumped into them. Carlisle , like Esme, had always treated me as his daughter. Carlisle was fair, with blonde hair and shining blue eyes, which invite confidence without demanding it. He was utterly mouth-droopingly handsome and I was sure that the nurses at the hospital had controlling their hormones around him. He kissed the top of my head and I fondly wrapped my arms around him. I loved both Charlie and Carlisle but what I adored about Carlisle was that I could show him how I felt without it being awkward. I looked back at the others and they were all smiling fondly at us, especially Edward. Emmett and Rosalie were keeping their distance but looked tortured in doing so. Esme raised an eyebrow and gestured between Emmett and Rosalie.

"Oh, it was a dare", I explained. The composed mask on her face slipped as she laughed a carefree laugh.

"It's okay you'll live," she said to them.

"That exactly what I said," I laughed.

"Well I'm glad that you're teaching them a lesson Bella. They need to learn self-control." Carlisle added. We all laughed while they glared at us. We all went into the living room and chatted, after I had made sure that Emmett and Rose weren't touching. I caught up with Carlisle and Esme, making up for the time I hadn't seen them. I truly had missed them.

"Oh Shoot," I murmured looking down at my watch, it was 6 o' clock already and I needed to me home in time to cook Charlie dinner.

"I really need to go guys," I looked at them sadly.

"Come on, I'll drop you home since you haven't got your car with you." Edward offered.

"Are you sure?" I didn't want him to go to too much trouble because of me.

"Yes, come on!" he laughed knowing exactly what was on my mind. I said my goodbyes to Esme and Carlisle , hugging them each in turn. I reminded Alice that she had to wear non-designer sweats to school tomorrow and use no hair products.

"I was hoping you'd forget," she muttered. We all laughed except Alice .

"Come back soon Bella!" Esme called out as Edward and I started off towards the Cullens' garage.

"I will!" I assured her and then she was out of view. As soon as that happened Edward wrapped his arm around me affectionately and pulled me close to his side. A comfortable silence hung between us. He opened the passenger door to his Volvo and quickly walked over the the driver's side. He flashed a smile at me before purring the Volvo to life. He linked his hand with mine as he drove to my house, which had me wondering... He only does this kind of thing, hugging, wrapping his arms around me, holding my hand, when we're on our own, we could hardy be classified as just friends...right? I would have to talk to Alice and Rose for girl advice but they both would probably tell me the same lie; "He's in love with you." Yeah Right!

Once he had parked in front of my house he got out and opened my door, taking my hand and swinging it between us. I was sad as we stopped outside my door and I realized I had to say goodbye.

"Bye," I whispered and he wrapped me in a hug.

"Sweet dreams", he scooped down and kissed my cheek. Then walked to his Volvo and drove away, leaving me dazzled on the front porch. I took the key from under the eave and unlocked the door. I made Charlie dinner and left it in the fridge with a note on the table telling him where it was. As I climbed into my bed, he was all I could think about. Stupid, shiny Volvo owner!


	7. Texting and Cafeteria Showdowns

**Chapter 7: Texting and Cafeteria Showdowns**

_ "Bella!" an angel's voice sang, I pivoted on my feet to come face-to-face with the most beautiful creature on the entire planet. The meadow's beauty dimmed in comparison to the God standing in front of me._

_ "Edward," I whispered reaching up with my hand to stroke his angular face. My fingers trailed from his smooth forehead, where his hair hung over it, and skimmed down to his straight nose. They lingered on his angular jaw, I marveled in this flawlessness. He was truly perfect, he had a body which male models would kill for and his gentlemanly ways made girls swoon._

_ "Bella..." he hesitated._

_ "What is it?" I softly encouraged him._

_ "I love you, Bella Swan." I stood motionless until I was coherent enough to speak._

_ "I-I love you too." With that, a breathtaking smile appeared on his face and he leaned down to press his lustrous lips to mine._

** "It's not fair and it's really not okay!"** I was awoken by my alarm singing Not Fair, which completely matched my mood. Crushing grief tore through me as I realized all of it was a dream, and a dream is all it would ever be.

"UURRRGGHH!" I groaned in frustration. Not only had I woken up from such a good dream, I had school to face and I hadn't got much sleep either! I rolled out of bed and headed to my bathroom for a shower, toppling dizzily into my dresser on the way. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, stretching my arms above my head. I didn't realize I was standing in the door, so I ended up hitting the top of the doorframe with my hand. I shook my hand, cursing and trying to get rid of the pain that was shooting through it. When I was jumping around trying to liberate myself of the agony, I managed to hit my shin against something, and ended up worsening the pain instead of reducing it. I fell on the floor not caring about the fact that now my back was throbbing. I sat up a little, examining my injuries. I had a bruised shin and my knuckles were bruised as well from when I hit them against the top of the doorframe. I stood up dazed and maneuvered my way to my mirror, lifting my tank top up to reveal a huge contusion. I sighed and navigated my way to back to my bathroom. I stripped down and stepped into the shower, the jets of hot water coming from all directions, relaxing my tense muscles. I thought about Edward. I organized my jumbled, confused thoughts that were buzzing around my brain. Okay so Edward and I were friends now, we had established that. Well when we're on our own he does stuff like hold my hand or wrap his arms around me, which, if someone walks in, is immediately taken away. Friends don't do things together that they wouldn't want other people to walk in on, did they? That was exactly the situation between Edward and I and I confused me all the way to hell. I pushed my feelings away, instead of sorting them out, as I felt the familiar feelings of rejection and realization pulse through me.

I absentmindedly stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my wet body, shivering slightly from the loss of the heat of the warm water on my skin. I sauntered into my huge closet filled with new clothes, courtesy of Alice , and tried to find articles of clothing to adorn. I stared at the round rotating platform of various shoes in the middle of the room wondering why the hell had I caved into Alice and let her redesign my closet. I sifted through the mound of clothes with designer labels on, growing more and more impatient, trying to find a pair of jeans. Suddenly my phone beeped from my room. I ran to check who it was that had sent me a text. _Alice__. _She had sent me a picture of the outfit she wanted me to wear and told me where to find it. She added this message to the end:

_Wear the clothes, or you'll get it! It's for your own good! You will LOVE me for it! See you at school!_

_Ali xxxx_

_P.S. You will get a surprise this morning!_

_P.P.S. Curl your hair!_

_P.P.P.S. PLEASE DO NOT BURN YOURSELF!_

Trust Alice to threaten me! I rolled my eyes and looked at the end of the message. What surprise? Ugh! She knows I hate surprises, yet the pixie has always ignored me and planned them on numerous occasions. I was a bit offended at the last remark; I can curl my hair without burning myself! I trudged back to the closet to pull on the horrific nightmares that Alice had conspired for me.

I followed Alice 's directions and found the pair of jeans she wanted me to wear. I had to admit that they were pretty rocking! They were bleach stone, acid washed skinny jeans which had strips of denim crossing on the outside of each leg and showing my skin in the open space between the crosses. I pulled them on and they fitted me perfectly, showing off my every curve. I then hunted for the top. It was a short-sleeved red top which had a waterfall front with a bow at the top and a gap showing a bit of cleavage. I felt a bit self-conscious as I looked in the mirror; a little bit of cleavage could be seen but the rest was left to imagination. I found the shoes on the top shelf of the rotation shoe rack. They were red open-toed high heels with straps at the ankle; I swear Alice wants to kill me. I stumbled a bit when I stood up, but after I had practiced walking in them for 15 minutes, I finally got the hang of it. I could walk without tripping, for now anyway. That would probably change when I saw Edward. I grabbed the jacket on the way out which was a black boyfriend blazer and I left it unbuttoned. I dried my hair while I left my curling irons to heat up. I'll show that little evil sprite that I can curl my hair without burning myself! Once they had heated up, I carefully curled my hair into loose spirals which cascaded down my back. I put the front of my hair into a side-parting a straightened my side-fringe. I rubbed on my foundation to smooth out my skin tone. Thank god I never get breakouts of spots on my face. I remember when Alice had one spot on her face and she brought the whole house down. I lined my eyes with black liquid eyeliner and covered my eyelids with soft pink eye shadow. I put mascara on my eyelashes to give them a full volume look. I put pink lip gloss on my full lips to complete the look. I added a thick red hair band to my hair matching the top and the shoes. I was about to leave my room when something caught my eye; red nail-polish. I painted my nails, pleased with myself for having the idea.

I gripped the banister of the stairs tightly as I climbed down them to stop myself from falling. Halfway down the stairs, I found that it wasn't too difficult. If I tried to think about nothing but walking straight and not falling, I could last throughout the day without embarrassing myself. I made myself some scrambled egg and toast. I sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen eating my breakfast, when I spotted a piece of paper near the fruit bowl. I opened it and read the message from Charlie:

_Hey Bells. I'll be home late tonight. Don't bother cooking dinner for me. I'll eat before I come home._

I wonder where he's going to eat. I tossed the note into the bin and washed up my plate. I grabbed my Louis Vuitton hand bag that Alice had gotten for Christmas and dumped my school things in it. I dithered as I walked out into the cold morning. I turned around a locked the door, dropping the key under the eave. As I turned around, I came across a sight that I had always dreamed of, but never thought I'd actually see. There, instead of the empty space where Charlie's cruiser should be, a Volvo was parked. Leaning on the Volvo, was the love of my life, smirking beautifully. I was ecstatic to see Edward but I was also very aware of the gaping hole in my chest which ached for him. Seeing Edward involved the opening and shutting of my senses. It was like a wound that was half-dried, half-healed and then it is ripped open by the thing that caused it in the first place. I shook away the gruesome thoughts and walked over to him, a smile also appearing on my face. I raised my eyebrow skeptically at him

"Hello Mr. Cullen," I said jokingly. "What, may I ask, are you doing here?"

"Well, Miss Swan," he began mirroring my tone. "If you don't mind, I would like to have the honor of taking you to school."

"Really?" I said taken aback.

"Yep, do you mind?" he said looking nervous. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait; Edward Cullen, nervous? That's a rare sight to see; in fact it's almost an extinct sight to see.

"Sure," I smiled brightly at him but I knew I could never dazzle him like he dazzles me. A smile lit up his worried expression and he opened the door for me. I slid into the passenger while he jogged over to the driver's side. As he started the car I looked at what he was wearing. He had some dark blue jeans on and a striped shirt which boasted about his muscles and abs. Over that he wore a black leather jacket which made him look so sexy.

"By the way Bella," he said as he started up his baby. "You look absolutely gorgeous."

"Thanks," I mumbled, a heavy blush coloring my cheeks.

We drove to school in a comfortable silence; I stared out of the window apprehensively waiting what school would hold for me today. I thought back to Friday, a lot has happened since then. Edward and I had become friends again, but would he show that at school? Or would he ignore me like he did two days ago? I was getting more agitated by each second that ticked by and I nearly burst with anxiousness as we pulled into the parking lot of Forks High. I mentally thanked Edward's Volvo for its tinted windows that shielded me from everyone's eyes and kept the gossip away for a little longer.

"Ready?" Edward whispered and squeezed my hand. I nodded meekly. I could hear the whispering start as Edward stepped out of the car and headed towards my passenger door. I could tell what everyone was thinking: _Who does Edward Cullen have with him?_ I held my breath as Edward opened the door, preparing myself for what was going to be a long day. Everyone audibly gasped when they saw me step out of the car; I tried my best to ignore the stares that were boring into my back. Edward put a hand lightly on the small of my back, guiding me to where Alice , Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper stood. Alice squealed when she saw me and hugged me tightly. Once she pulled back I greeted the others and Rose gave me a knowing smile. She winked and mouthed:

"You look fabulous!"

"Thanks!" I mouthed back.

"Bella, I see you chose to wear the outfit," Alice asked innocently.

"Well sadly Alice , I had no choice!" I said and Edward chuckled lightly from beside me. Alice suddenly grabbed Rose and I and dragged us out of earshot of the boys.

"So did you like your surprise?" Alice chirped.

"That was you?" I said and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, Edward was sitting in the house looking really bored so Alice and I booted him out told him to go to yours" Rosalie explained.

"You guys are the best friends ever!" I pulled them both into a hug and a smile stretched across my face. They were truly the best anyone could ask for. The bell rang signaling the start of homeroom. Edward ran over to me and Rose and Alice had magically disappeared.

"I'll see you at lunch, okay?" Edward gave me a quick hug and left for his own homeroom. I felt light and easy after that because I knew that Edward wouldn't hide our friendship. That comforted me in some weird unknown way. Jessica and Lauren were glaring at me as I entered homeroom and took my seat next to Alice .

"Wow," Alice whispered. "Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum are not happy"

I laughed at our nickname for them. I turned around and they were still glaring at me. Alice and I both got our phones out under the desk and went on FaceBook. We chatted on FaceBook as we couldn't talk in homeroom without being told off. Alice had the new Blackberry Curve 8900, whereas Edward had the Blackberry Bold 9700. All the Cullens had a Blackberry, it was the Cullen tradition. Alice and I texted each other throughout the morning in our lessons; I was about to reply to a text that Alice had sent me when I got a notification that Edward Cullen had signed on in FaceBook. I smirk lit up my face.

_Hey, _Edward said on Face-book chat.

**_Hey wuu2?_**

_Not much, I'm stuck in Spanish with Emmett sitting next to me. Joy. U?_

**_Haha lol Gotta love Emmett lol. Not much, I'm falling asleep while listening to Ms Stephens go on about how much women have developed from the WWI. Fun._**

_Hahaha well that is interesting isn't it? Lol_

"Ms Swan!" Ms Stephens exclaimed. "What were the women who protested for the right to vote called?" Luckily I knew this or I'd be dead.

"The Suffragettes, Ms Stephens," I said.

"G-Good. Pay attention next time," she said taken aback that I knew the answer.

**_Gtg Edward. The old hag nearly caught me. C u at lunch x_**

I was unsure of what Edward would make of the "x" at the end. How would he take it?

_Kk c ya l8r x_

I was extremely elated that he put an "x" at the end. Even though he just probably meant it as friends and only put it there because I had. I was nearly bouncing with joy as I skipped into the cafeteria. Before I could go any further into the cafeteria, Lauren and Jessica materialized in front of me. _Oh Boy._

"Hey Bella; so you and Cullen friends now, huh?" Lauren sneered. They didn't even give me a chance to respond.

"Well either way, you don't deserve to be even around him. He is way too good for you. Besides I'm sure that he would rather be with someone pretty, like us." Jessica added. I know that I shouldn't let them get to me but that really hurt. It didn't help the fact that the whole cafeteria had heard and were now eagerly anticipating what would happen next.

"You must be really retarded if you think you look anywhere near pretty," a voice said from behind me. I turned my head to look at my savior and my eyes met a pair of emerald green ones. Edward walked closer to us and Jessica and Lauren's mouths dropped and hit the ground.

"You two actually think that you're better than Bella?" Edward asked disbelievingly. "Well you've got another thing coming. Bella is way smarter, more caring and more beautiful than you. And every guy here is lucky to even be able to look at her. If you've got a problem with her, you've got a problem with me. Got it?" Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me away from Lauren and Jessica, who were now gob smacked.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"No problem. And Bella?" he looked directly into my eyes. "I meant every word I said." Alice was almost bursting with joy as we sat down.

"That was so sweet!" She mouthed to me.

"I know!" I mouthed back. We all chatted as we ate lunch and the guys started a mini food fight. Rosalie, Alice and I rolled our eyes. Once they had gotten over their childishness, Jasper, Emmett, Rose and Alice headed to English. Edward stood up and offered me his arm.

"Shall we, Miss Swan?" he said.

"We shall," I chuckled taking his arm. We were both laughing as we walked to Biology, just enjoying each other's presence. Biology went by in a flash with Edward and I was sad to have to go to Gym.

"Don't worry. I'll rescue you from Gym half-way through," Edward said before heading off to his Math lesson. I walked into the changing room to find Alice there already changed. I quickly dressed myself in a fitted shirt, blue short shorts and trainers. I pulled my hair into a ponytail; leaving my fringe out. We were playing Badminton, oh joy. After an excruciating half-hour in which I had managed to hit Mike twice, Edward was at the door. I sighed with relief and was in bliss to see him. Edward talked to the Coach and I was excused from gym. Edward waited outside the changing rooms while I changed back into what I was wearing.

"Ready?" He asked. I nodded. We spent the next half-hour in his car talking and listening to music.

"Do you want me to take you home?" he asked when students started filing out. I nodded but I was internally screaming 'NO' because I didn't want to leave him. I sighed internally as Edward pulled up in front of my house.

"Bella?" Edward called when I was at my front door. "I'll pick you up tomorrow?" I smiled.

"Okay! See you tomorrow Edward!" I waved to him.

"Bye Bella!" he waved at me a final time before driving off into the distance. _I'll miss you Edward. _I mentally sighed as I retrieved the key from under the eave and made my way inside.


	8. Hidden Secrets and Doorstep Moments

**Chapter 8: Hidden Secrets and Doorstep Moments**

I woke after yet another dream about Edward. Only this time he proposed to me, he was about to kiss me...then I woke up! I have wildest over-imaginative mind. I glanced over to my alarm clock and it only read 05:00 . I lay back on my bed and tried to let sleep take me but no such luck. So I reached over to my desk and grabbed my Mac book. I opened the sleek lid and worked on my coursework.

I must have fallen asleep writing about the atomic structure of Helium because the next time I woke up, my head laid on the Mac book and my alarm was singing Russian Roulette by Rihanna. I sat in bed for a few minutes listening to the song and just getting into the mood. I looked at the clock to find that I had only been asleep for an hour. I decided what I was going to do then.

I crept downstairs and stopped at the door to the basement. Which wasn't a basement; it was my haven to get away when I would feel too many emotions inside of me. I had never told anyone about this, except Charlie and Renée. Not even Alice and Rose, even they think that this is just a place where I keep my useless junk; in fact it's the opposite. This place contains my heart, my mind and my soul. I entered the 4-digit number in the code pad on the door and it opened with a hiss.

I locked the soundproof door behind me and I stalked into the room, entranced by the memories it contained. I had come to this very place almost every day from the day that Edward distanced himself from me; except I haven't been here in the last couple of days.

This was my personal recording studio. Charlie had it installed when I was younger and really into singing and playing. I never really utilized it until I had real pain inside of me, which needed to be released in some form, inflicted by Edward. I would never tell me him this because I knew he would feel really guilty and blame himself. I sing, play guitar and a bit of piano. Yet I had, never, ever told anyone this, nor did I plan to. It's just too embarrassing; especially what the sheets of music contain- songs. Which were songs to people but to me they were my past, my truths.

I dug through the sheets of music to find the song that I had written only a few days ago, "Tell Me Why". I hadn't recorded it yet and I felt that this was the perfect opportunity to do so. I grabbed my guitar, configured the sound settings, and sat on the bench with the mike raised near my lips. I hit start and sang my heart out, with tears pouring down my cheeks. Yet I kept singing, I needed to get it all out:

_I took a chance, I took a shot_

_And you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not_

_You took a swing, I took it hard_

_And down here from the ground, I see who you are_

_I'm sick and tired of your attitude_

_I'm feeling like I don't know you_

_You tell me that you like me then you cut me down_

_And I need you like a heartbeat_

_But you know you got a mean streak_

_Makes me run for cover when you're around_

_And here's to you and your temper_

_Yes, I remember what you said last night_

_And I know that you see what you're doing to me_

_Tell me, why?_

_You could write a book on how_

_To ruin someone's perfect day_

_Well, I get so confused and frustrated_

_Forget what I'm trying to say, oh_

_I'm sick and tired of your reasons_

_I got no one to believe in_

_You tell me that you want me, then push me around_

_And I need you like a heartbeat_

_But you know you got a mean streak_

_Makes me run for cover when you're around_

_Here's to you and your temper_

_Yes, I remember what you said last night_

_And I know that you see what you're doing to me_

_Tell me, why?_

_Why do you have to make me feel small_

_So you can feel whole inside?_

_Why do you have to put down my dreams_

_So you're the only thing on my mind?_

_I'm sick and tired of your attitude_

_I'm feeling like I don't know you_

_You tell me that you want me then cut me down_

_I'm sick and tired of your reasons_

_I've got no one to believe in_

_You ask me for my love then you push me around_

_Here's to you and your temper_

_Yes, I remember what you said last night_

_And I know that you see what you're doing to me_

_Tell me, why? Why? Tell me, why?_

_I take a step back, let you go_

_I told you I'm not bulletproof_

_Now you know_

I pressed stop and transferred the track to my laptop so I could edit it later. I placed my guitar back on the guitar stand and turned all the equipment off. I entered the code again to lock the room. I walked upstairs feeling a lot lighter, like a heavy burdening weight had been lifted off my shoulders. This is the feeling I'd get whenever I'd write a song or record it. This was my way of venting my internal frustration, anger and hurt. I felt a lot happier than I had been an hour ago.

I snuck a peek inside Charlie's room to find he was still asleep. I was thankful to the fact that the studio was thoroughly soundproof because even my own father didn't know the things I kept bottled inside me. I quickly showered and checked my phone for any messages from Alice indicating what I should wear. There were none so I assumed that I could wear anything I want. _Well that's a first!_

I found a cute pair of jeans in the closet. They were ice blue ultimate skinny jeans. Alice had an amazing sense of fashion! I slipped on a white tee which had 'Abercrombie' written across it. I chose a black and grey striped boyfriend cardigan and left it unbuttoned. I found some black slouchy suede high-leg boots. Noticing it was cold outside; I pulled on a white woolen sequined beret and grey fingerless gloves. I let my hair form into its natural wavy style and just put a bit of pink lip-gloss. I looked in the mirror and I had to admit, I looked cute.

I walked downstairs to find Charlie in his pajamas, sitting on the dining table eating breakfast.

"Morning Bells," Charlie greeted me groggily.

"Morning Char-Dad! No work today then?"

"Nope Bells, I get to stay home and relax. That's something I haven't done in a while!"

"Well that's good then," I mumbled. OH SHIT! He's going to see Edward when he picks me up! I looked out of the window to see Edward leaning on his Volvo waiting for me. Unfortunately Charlie picked up on this too.

"Edward's waiting Bells. Why?" Now that I think about it, even I don't know why he's insisting that he drives me to school. I have my own car!

"Uhh ermm...Edward's taking me to school."

"Why?"

"I don't know?"

"Bells," Charlie hesitated, Uh-Oh. We had crossed the territory into awkward land and its thorny subject- boyfriends. "Are you and Edward?" he trailed off suggestively. _I wish!_

"NO! No, Dad. We're just friends."He gave me a long skeptical look and then shrugged.

"Whatever," he said dismissively and the look on his face said that he still didn't believe me!

"Okay Dad, I'll see you after school," I said heading towards the front door.

"Bye, kiddo!"

"Oh and Dad? Please try not to burn the house down." The last time I left Charlie alone in the house he had put metal in the microwave causing to explode and start a fire. Luckily I got home in time otherwise I would have kissed my house goodbye.

"Oh, Ha, Ha! Very funny!"

"Bye!" I yelled into the house one last time before stepping outside to face the most perfect guy in the whole universe.

**E POV**** (Finally!)**

I parked my Volvo on Bella's driveway and found that Charlie's cruiser was there. Knowing Chief Swan, this was going to earn Bella some awkward questions. I got into the frosty atmosphere and leaned on my car waiting for Bella to appear.

I thought back to how messed up my life was just a mere few days ago. Despite all this, I was very happy right now except for the glooming truth, which no matter how many time I forced to the back of my head, seems to find itself back to the surface of my thoughts.

I loved Bella, with every fiber of my being. I couldn't dare hope that Bella would have mutual feeling after all that I've put her through. Two years ago, I realized that I was completely and utterly in love with Bella. I was very young and naive, not to mention scared of an emotion so strong inside me. Which, until that day, I didn't even know existed. I was very confused about what I should do. My idiotic brain came up with the conclusion that maybe if I somehow suppressed this extreme sensation stronger than the force of gravity, it would go away. How wrong I was.

This lead to me avoiding Bella and distancing myself from her. Then I discovered that it was easier to suppress my feeling by acting unkind to her and insulting her. I hurt myself twice as much every time I hurt her. As soon as anything slipped out of my mouth, I would instantly regret it. I learned over time to annihilate all human emotions. I became an empty shell, a lifeless, soul-less empty shell.

I played with girls, not caring who I was with, not caring for them at all. I only wanted the ache in my heart to go away, which happened from a fraction of time whenever I was with a girl. I needed more and more of this comfort. This sick masochistic comfort.

I had an epiphany a week ago which made me realize how fucked up and moronic I am. Ignoring Bella and pretending like she was nothing to me want helping me at all. I _needed _Bella. Even if all I would get from her is friendship. It's enough for me. I consider myself extremely lucky that she has even agreed to talk to me, let alone be my friend. This just shows how kind, caring and unselfish Bella is. She puts others in front of herself.

This is self-redemption for me. Maybe if I tried hard enough Bella would return my feelings for her. I can only hope, I am quite certain that it will never happen. Thinking about this every time I see her involves every kind of pain imaginable, but I'll endure it, just for pain that I had caused to her is much greater, and I'll spend every moment in my life suffering to make up for her hardships. I know that Bella would never show me extent of her pain because she knows I would wallow in guilt, which again just make me guiltier that she always has to be the protector. It shouldn't be like that. I should protect her from everything she doesn't like out there. It is really frustrating because I can't tell her why I separated myself from her. That would mean confessing my undying love to her, which I can't do because that would ruin our newly requited friendship.

It was like my life suddenly came into focus and everything was much brighter when she walked through the door. She was wearing a simple outfit, but it made her look incredible. It was amazing how she could take something so transparent and turn it into something so stunning that it is indescribable. Bella was the ideal image of beauty; she wasn't fake, which most of Forks is. She never sees herself clearly, which is really counteracting to me. She could be Greek goddess but she still thinks that she's plain. When will she see that she's much more than that?

**B POV**

Edward had a smile planted on his face after he saw me leave the house.

"Hey," I greeted him as I walked towards.

"Hi," he smiled a smile which made me go all warm and fuzzy inside. He opened the door for me and I climbed inside his Volvo.

"So where to Miss Swan?" he questioned pretending he was my driver. I chuckled.

"Forks High, Cullen boy," we both burst out laughing as Edward pulled out of my driveway and I could have sworn I was a figure watching us through the living room window. As he was driving, I snuck peeks at him when he wasn't looking. I ogled his flawless features, from his angular cheekbones to his smooth creamy skin. My hands ached to touch him, but I clamped them together because Edward would find it very weird if I suddenly reached out and started stroking his face.

When we arrived at Forks High, the reception was quieter than yesterday. Most of the student body had gotten used to the fact that Edward Cullen, the hottest, most popular guy in the school was friends again with Bella Swan, the plain Jane. Despite that, not-so-subtle whispering could be heard as we stepped out of the car. The crowd quickly dispersed as we walked to Alice . People were standing at the sides staring at us and whispering. Edward put a protective arm around my shoulders and I thought it was endearing.

"Well, Rose" Alice said looking at my attire as we approached her. "We can't say that she has a bad sense of fashion."

"Maybe if you let me dress myself once in a while, you'd know that," we all laughed at that. We spent our time chatting and laughing at Emmett whenever he'd make a fool of himself. I gave Edward a quick hug as the bell rand and ran to homeroom with Alice . As I entered, Lauren and Jessica approached me. _Geez, can't they leave me alone?_

"Hi, Bella," Jessica said sweetly. _What the fuck?_

"Bye, Morons," I said trying to walk past them, but Lauren blocked they path.

"Bella," she plastered a fake smile on her face, on top of her mounds of layers of caked-on makeup. "Why don't you sit with us?" She indicated to the table where Mike, Eric, Angela and Ben were sitting. To be honest, Ben and Angela were the only nice ones of the group.

"No thanks, Poser," Lauren's lips set into a straight line and she forced them up, with great difficultly, into a small smile and walked away. Everyone looked at me with questioning eyes as I approached the lunch table.

"Oh the Masqueraders tried to buy me," I explained as I sat in between Edward and Emmett. Emmett let out a loud guffaw and thumped me on my back. I gave him the '_WTF?' _look and he just shrugged and kept eating.

"So what did you say?" Jasper said. That was weird, Jasper is usually very quiet.

"Um, not much really; I just called them moronic posers and walked away."

"WAY TO GO BELLS!" Emmett thumped my back again.

"Emmett!" I said my teeth gritted. "I can barely stay upright by myself and I DO NOT need you thumping my back every five seconds!" For some weird contorted reason, Emmett thought this was very funny and roared with laughter.

"What is WRONG with him?" Edward said shaking his head.

"Well, I think he was dropped on his head when he was a baby," we all nodded to each other and went back to eating our lunch. I was having pasta with tomato sauce, and to be honest it was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted. I stood up to go and throw it away. I hadn't even taken five steps when I slipped and I lurched forward. My tray went flying and hit someone with a _thud_. I couldn't see who because I had a date with the floor, embarrassment and humiliation. I squeezed my eyes together, bracing for impact. However before I could completely embarrass myself, I was caught in a pair of strong arms. I peeked through my lashes to see Edward grinning at me shaking his head with an amused expression. Laughter was a second away from bursting out of his mouth.

"I'm so sor-" I looked up at the person who I had dumped my lunch on. I could see why Edward was laughing now; there stood Lauren, with pasta and tomato sauce smeared all over her dress, face and hair. There was even a piece of pasta stuck in her fake cleavage.

"Ooh scratch that. I'm so not sorry," I burst out laughing and so did the rest of the cafeteria. Edward still had his arms around me so I leaned my head on his shoulder while I split my sides.

"BITCH," Lauren screamed and I turned to face her. She brought her hand up and swung it across to slap me. Before she could even get halfway, Edward grabbed her hand menacingly and dropped it to her side.

"Enough," he said gritting his teeth. She stormed out of the cafeteria with Jessica quickly following. I detangled myself from Edward as the bell rang and waved goodbye to everyone at the table. As we walked in a comfortable silence, I flashed a smile at him showed my gratefulness. He smiled warmly back at me in return, but I could see it was just a mask. When he thought I wasn't looking, his jaw was set and his eyes hard. Why was he angry?

He calmed during Biology as we were watching a documentary about planarian. I was holding his hand and rubbing comforting circles into it. I looked up at his face and was mesmerized once again. He looked so beautiful; his face shone from the light projected by the TV at the front of the room. Can someone as beautiful as him even be real? I nearly reached out and took his face in my hands, but I stopped myself in time. Whenever he would catch me looking, I ducked my head, but not before I saw the smile creep up to his face. When the documentary ended I had no idea what was in it, I had spent my whole time staring at Edward.

Edward grabbed me in his arms for a hug goodbye as we parted ways. Gym was excruciatingly painful. I managed to bruise myself in five different places! They were all hidden beneath clothing except for the one on the forehead. Luckily Alice was always handy with foundation otherwise I knew Edward would flip.

As I left the gym I saw Edward leaning against the wall of the building. He had his eyes closed so he didn't notice me. I walked straight to him, lined my eyes with his and tapped his shoulder. He was so surprised he jumped a foot in the air and I fell about laughing. Once he composed himself, he straightened up and glared at me.

"That's it! Payback time!" he grinned evilly at me and stalked forward. I was scared of what was about to happen next and stumbled backwards. In one swift movement Edward grabbed my waist and swung me over his shoulder. I pounded his back with my fists, but it had no effect.

"Edward! Put me down!" I yelled still attempting to get free.

"Nope," he said cheekily, popping the 'p'. Much to my embarrassment, he carried me across the parking lot, waving to Rose and Alice in the process. They gave me the 'WTF?' look and I just shrugged and mouthed; 'Don't ask!' Edward had reached his Volvo and just stood there, in front of it.

"Well are you gonna put me down or what?" He pretended that he was thinking,

"No I don't think I will."

"Edward, plea-se put me down!" I pleaded with him.

"On one condition,"

"What?" I asked warily.

"You have to admit that Edward Cullen is the greatest person that has ever lived on this planet," he said. Even though I couldn't see it, I knew he was smirking. It was so true, but I wasn't about to admit it out loud

"And _why _would I do that?"

"Because I'm your ride home?"

"Touché. Edward Cullen is the greatest person to have ever lived on Earth. Happy?"

"Ecstatic!" he said putting me down and opening the door for me to get into his Volvo. I took a seat into the warm Volvo and clipped my seatbelt.

"That was not funny," I told him once he sat on the driver's side. He turned to me and threw me his signature smile.

"It was a bit funny, you have to admit," I simply stuck my tongue out at him, crossed my arms across my chest and pouted as I looked out of the window.

**E POV**

I looked over at Bella to see her pouting and faking anger. Bella looked so cute when she puts, and her little kitten anger is adorable. I took every ounce of self-control I had not to slam the brakes, grabs her face and kiss her like my life depended on it. I shook my head to clear the vile thoughts I had. Bella deserved someone better than me, yet I felt like ripping the head off the person who would have Bella in his arms. He is so damn lucky.

I felt a wave of sadness wash over me as I parked in Bella's driveway. I was surprised to see Charlie's cruiser gone; he was here this morning… Apparently Bella felt the same way as me because she looked at me with her doe eyes, which were full of sadness. Then I saw a spark inside of them.

"Edward?" Bella perked up.

"Hmmm?" I was too absorbed in her eyes to form a reasonably coherent response.

"Do you wanna come inside and help me with my homework?"

"Yes!" I said a bit too quickly and Bella's tinkering laugh filled the car. I jogged over eagerly to her and opened her door. She unlocked the door and stepped inside. My eyes scanned the hallway and living room. They're not in any way different from the last time I saw them. It had been two years since I had last been here, last sat on the sofa, last watched a baseball game with Charlie. He probably hates me now considering what I did to his daughter. Bella led my to the dining room and I gingerly sat down on the soft plushy chair. The Swans had a dining table which could seat ten but only two of those spaces had ever been occupied. Bella headed to the counter where I saw a note. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion and she put the note down again on the counter.

"Dad's in La Push'" Bella explained. "At Sue's, I wonder what he's doing there?" She said more to herself.

My fist clenched when Bella said La Push, let's just say that I didn't really like the people from La Push. In fact I hated them; we always had an ongoing rivalry. I knew Bella was friends with a mutt from La Push, _Jacob. _I thought his name in disgust. I was relieved that Bella hadn't been around him lately because whenever he was with her, it would infuriate me immensely.

Bella and I sat at her dining table for ages, doing homework and just talking to each other. I even watched her while she made dinner for Charlie. She was so graceful in her every movement, except for when she trips on nothing and I have to catch her. I'm not complaining because its fun and I get to have her in my arms.

It was already really dark when I thought it was time to leave. In fact I don't think I ever would have left if it wasn't for Alice texting me every five minutes asking me where the hell I am.

"I better go," I said as Bella and I stood at her doorstep.

"Yeah," she breathed. In a cliché way, this was the doorstep moment. Where the guy leans down and kisses the girl and everything is alright after that and the girl and the guy live happily ever after. Unfortunately, Bella and I were different. We were…complicated.

I looked down at her face and the wind was blowing her face across her face. I reached down gently and tucked the strand of hair behind her ear. My hand stayed on her cheek, without thinking, I instinctively leaned down. It must have been my imagination but I saw her lean in a little too. I was inches away from her lips when my phone buzzed. I internally groaned and straightened up, pulling my phone from my pocket. It was Alice for the umpteenth time. Bella looked anywhere but my face. In a way, I both hated and loved Alice right now. I hated her because she had ruined my moment with Bella and I loved her because if we had kissed who knows what would have happened. Bella would have regretted to hell and back that's for sure. I decided to break the silence.

"Uh, bye Bella" She finally looked in my eyes.

"Bye," she breathed. I hugged her awkwardly and walked to my Volvo. I turned around gave her one last wave before stepping into my car. Standing in the doorstep, illuminated by the light behind her was the last of Bella I saw as I sped to Forks Highway to get home.


	9. Mutual Laughs and Losing Him Again

**Chapter 9: Mutual Laughs and Losing Him Again**

**B POV**

My night was restless, sleepless and flustered. I kept tossing and turning, waking up every half an hour. I shifted positions on the bed, threw all the pillows on the floor and even got more blankets but nothing helped. I kept thinking of him, as I always do. I kept thinking of the frustration he caused. I nearly screamed out in aggravation. I ended up falling asleep in a semi-circle shape. My head was at the left length of the bed and my legs at the headboard. My arm was dangling off the side of the bed and I felt my muscles ache when I moved them.

My emotions were a tangled mess. I didn't know what to feel anymore. I felt happiness for the fact that Edward and I were reconciled and best friends again. I was angry at myself for being too scared to admit my feelings for Edward to him. I was sad and resentful to the fact that Edward would never love me. Most importantly I was confused and there was only one word to describe what I felt about each and every day with Edward: frustration.

Why can't I just toughen up and talk to him? Why can't I just ask him to clear up this perplexity? Why can't Edward just make it palpable? I didn't even know what Edward and I were anymore. Why would friends try to kiss one another, on various occasions? Maybe it was just my wild imagination running away from me again.

I felt a huge lump form in my throat, which made it hard to swallow. Without warning, tears cascaded down my cheeks. I didn't even know I was crying until I felt my shirt get wet as my tears dripped on them. I let it all out then, I cried to my heart's content. I needed to get it all out of my system when I was alone rather than have a breakdown in front of the whole student population. Once my crying jag was over, my throat was dry and sore, my eyes were red beyond belief and I had a huge headache from crying for so long. There was one thing I was certain about though; I wanted to be happy. All I want is to be happy. I don't know how that happiness would find me, if it ever would. I needed to be strong.

I glanced at the clock to find that it was only six in the morning. I was also quite angry at the fact that my body can't seem to understand that I need to sleep longer. What is it with getting up early all the time?

Since I was up, I decided to get ready. I walked into my bathroom and shuddered at what I saw in the mirror. My eyes were red, my hair looked like a haystack and I looked like a complete wreck. I had to clear my throat several times before I was able to speak again. I brushed my teeth mechanically and stepped into the hot shower. I reached up and turned the music on in the shower. I turned the body jets on and let the water attack me from all directions. I sat down on the seat in the shower. I don't know how long I had been sitting in the shower, but I was turning into a prune so I quickly washed my hair and stepped out.

I walked into my closet not caring if Alice wanted me to wear something of her choice today. I picked indigo skinny jeans which had bows on the side seams. I wore a long floral-printed t-shirt which had a 'Break the Rules' motif on it. On top of that I added a black hanky hem jersey waistcoat. I found some stunning ballet pumps which had gold studs on it and a bow at the front. I grabbed a red tartan blazer and a red tartan scarf to match. I didn't feel like bothering with my hair today so I pulled it into a messy bun with a few strands around my face. I tossed in a pink headband for the sole purpose of pleasing Alice . As I was walking out I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was very surprised. I had only thrown the outfit together but it looked nice.

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen to have breakfast, as I did so I noticed that Charlie had already gone to work. I was eating Cheerios when I had sudden inspiration. The phrase 'Just wanna be happy' had been repeating itself in my head ever since this morning. I quickly tossed down my cheerios and ran down to my studio. I grabbed my guitar and a few sheets of blank music and began writing. It was already eight on the clock by the time I had finished. I quickly pressed start and began recording it.

_Someone once told me  
That you have to choose  
What you win or lose  
You can't have everything_

_Don't you take chances  
You might feel the pain  
Don't you love in vain  
Cause love wont set you free_

_I could stand by the side  
And watch this life pass me by  
So unhappy but safe as could be_

_So what if it hurts me  
So what if I break down  
So what if this world just throws me off the edge  
My feet run out of ground_

_I gotta find my place  
I wanna hear my sound  
Don't care about other pain in front of me  
Cause I'm just tryan be happy, yeah  
Just wanna be happy, yeah_

_Holding on tightly  
Just can't let it go  
Just tryan play my roll  
Slowly disappear, oooh_

_Well all these tears  
They feel like they're the same  
Just different faces, different names  
Get me outta here_

_Well I can stand by the side  
And watch this life pass me by  
Pass me by_

_So what if it hurts me  
So what if i break down  
So what if this world just throws me off the edge  
My feet run out of ground_

_I gotta find my place  
I wanna hear my sound  
Don't care about other pain in front of me  
Cause I'm just tryan be happy  
Just wanna be happy  
Oooh…_

_So any turns that I can't see  
Ill count a stranger on this road  
But don't say victim  
Don't say anything_

_So what if it hurts me  
So what if I break down  
So what if this world just throws me off the edge  
My feet run out of ground  
I gotta find my place  
I wanna hear my sound  
Don't care about all the pain in front of me  
Cause I'm just try to be happy  
Just wanna be happy_

I quickly transferred it onto my laptop and ran upstairs to grab my phone. As I entered I saw my phone flashing, indication a new text. I sprinted to my table so fast that I nearly tripped and banged my head on the corner of it. There were two unread messages; one was from Alice, the other from…Edward. I jumped with joy as I saw that the message was from him. This only just proves no matter how much pain it causes me, I cannot live without him.

Alice's message read:

_Hell-o sunshine :D!_

_I just wanted to say that u can wear anything 2day cuz I will be dressing u up big time on Friday bcuz Sahaj and Roslyn will be arriving. :D_ _EEEPPPPP! CAN'T WAIT!_

_See u at skool. Ly xxxxxxxxxxxxx_

I groaned at the Bella Barbie session that would come on Friday. I opened the next text from Edward wondering what it would say:

_Hey Bella_

_Sorry I cant pick u up 2day Im running late. _ _Really really sorry!_

_C u at skool_

_X_

I didn't know what to make of this, was he just avoiding me? I replied instantly:

_Hey Edward_

_It's okay, seriously! I have a car, I can't just let it get all rusty!_ _I'm driving myself to school from now on!_

_C u at skool_

_X_

I grabbed my Jack Wills bag and tossed my laptop in it as I had a free period today so I could do whatever I wanted. I grabbed my car keys and my phone and raced downstairs as I was running late myself. I unlocked my Aston Martin and hopped inside, racing to make to Forks High before the bell goes.

As I parked my car next to a silver Volvo, I smiled. I slung my bag on my shoulder and stepped out of my car. I quickly found a mess of bronze hair coming towards me and I grinned. Edward pulled me into a hug; I was so shocked that it took me a while to respond. I knew then that the tension and awkwardness was locked in a drawer at the back of our heads. I was just so happy to see him!

"Bella, I'm sorry that I couldn't pick you up-" Edward pulled back and started.

"Edward seriously it's fine! Anyway, why do you insist on picking me up? I already have a car!"

His face fell a little and I knew I had hurt him. He quickly put the happy mask on his face before I could see any further into his deep pool of emotions.

"Carpool to save the environment?" he grinned sheepishly.

"Coming from the one who has four cars," I scoffed. "No really what is it?"

"Because I wanted to spend more time with you; would you rather I didn't?" he said completely serious. Right there in that moment, he took my breath away.

"I-I d-didn't say th-that," I stuttered at a loss of words. Edward simply grinned and we headed towards Alice who was waiting eagerly for me.

"Bye Bella!" Edward waved to me as he walked to homeroom.

"Oh my god!" Alice gushed as I reached her. "I love your hair! It looks so sexy! But at the same time, so casual! It's genius!"

"Okay," I dragged out my words. " Alice all I did was throw it in a bun because I couldn't be bothered to do anything extravagant with it."

"I know but still! It's awesome!" Alice kept ranting about this until we got to homeroom, where she was forced to be quiet. It wasn't over though, she logged onto her FaceBook and updated her status to: 'Bella's hair is sexy! Right?' She had sneakily taken a picture of me and uploaded it as well. I commented on her status saying: 'NO it is NOT! Now take the pic. off!"

'No way! ;)' she commented again. I gave up after that.

Throughout the morning I got lots of notifications telling me people had commented on Alice 's pic of me. Most of them were from perverted guys like Mike, Eric and Tyler. Almost all of the comments were: 'Oooh sexy!' or 'Hotttt!'. Seriously they have no sense if they think I am 'sexy' or 'hott'. I smiled at what Rose wrote: 'Totally! I love u B xxxx'.

I filed out of the room once the class ended having no idea what it was about. I had a free period next so I dumped all of my books in my locker. I walked around the school aimlessly, not knowing what to do until I came outside. I sat on one of the rusty benches and fished my laptop out of my bag.

I clicked on YouTube and watched funny accident clips, in the mood for a good laugh. I was watching PotterPuppetPals when I heard a loud pop in my ear. I jumped so fast I nearly dropped my Mac, I turned to glare at the person who had scared me out of my wits and came face to face with a smirking Edward.

"That was for yesterday," he said sitting down besides me, referring to the fact that I had scared him shitless when he was waiting outside the gym for me.

"Well I would pick you up and sling over my shoulder, but since I can't I guess we're even!"

"Oohhh I love this! It's so funny!" Edward said noticing what I was watching and grabbing an earphone. We spent the majority of my free period on the bench watching all of the PotterPuppetPals' videos. Once we had done that, we were talking about how random and weird they were.

"SNAPE," Edward suddenly leaned towards me mimicking the Snape puppet in the video we had just watched. I was supposed to reciprocate but my breath caught in my throat by his sheer proximity to me.

"HARRY!" I bobbed my head toward him while he leaned back and yelled in his face caricaturing the Harry puppet in the video.

"SNAPE!"

"HARRY!"

"SNAPE!"

"HARRY!" Then we both simultaneously shouted:

"DUMBLEDORE!" and we both doubled over in laughter at each other's randomness.

Someone was walking past at that very moment, she looked at Edward and I, then gave us the 'WTF?' look. We looked at each other, shrugged and laughed even harder at the look she gave us. I looked at Edward; he looked so beautiful while he was laughing. The way he ran his fingers through his untamable hair...The twinkle in his eyes... I shook my head to rid myself of these thoughts but still kept staring at Edward as he laughed.

The bell rang signaling lunch, Edward and I walked to lunch together. Fortunately I didn't have any trouble from Lauren or Jessica today, for which I was grateful. Alice and Rosalie insisted that we have a sleepover again this weekend. I had no choice but to say yes.

Biology breezed by with Edward and I completing our experiment first. I swear we were the only bright ones in this class. When Edward and I were in an animated conversation, realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I drove myself to school, which inadvertently meant that I would be driving myself home, alone. My heart sank. My mood brightened as suddenly as it had dampened because I just had a brilliant epiphany. I must have blanked out because Edward was suddenly waving his hands in front of my face trying to get me to snap out of my current state.

"Edward?" he relaxed instantaneously when I spoke his name

"Yeah?" he said staring right into my eyes making me lose my train of thought. _Shit! What was I going to say?_

"Do you mind helping me with my Geometry homework after school," I even though I was getting straight A's in the subject. Edward smirk told me he knew this too. _Busted! _I flushed and looked anywhere but his statuesque eyes.

"I would love to," Edward put a finger underneath my chin and lifted my head so I would meet his eyes. He beamed a thrillingly beautiful smile at me.

I shouted a quick goodbye to Edward as I ran to Gym, preparing for an hour of torture. We played volleyball and I managed to hit Mike twice on the back of his head. _Poor Boy, _but he deserved it for all the comments he posted about my 'sexy hairstyle'.

As I walked toward Edward after Gym, I caught sight of Lauren and her cronies glaring it me. If looks could kill I would have been subjected to hell within one second. _So the niceness charade is out the window then._

I pulled out of the parking lot after I told Edward to follow me home. I kept looking in my rear-view mirror to make sure he was following me, for some reason I felt like he was going disappear.

Once we were both seated on the leather sofas in my living room, we started doing our homework. I couldn't concentrate on anything with this god-like creature sitting in front of me.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?" Edward said looking up from his own homework, I was immediately entranced by the way he was chewing his pen. His lips curled over the edges and the pen caught in his open mouth. He bit down on his pen again, still looking expectantly at me. I shook my head, dazed.

"How many electrons are there on the outer shell of a Lithium atom?" I read out the question from my own sheet, I knew the answer but I just wanted to talk to him.

"Oh that's-wait. Do your own homework!" He said finally catching on. I grabbed a cushion from the sofa and hit him with it.

"I hate you," I said to him, joking.

"Aww I love you too!" he joked back standing up, grabbing another cushion and flinging it at me. Oh, how I wish he meant it. I picked up the cushion from where it had landed on the floor and chased him around the room hitting him repeatedly with it. Before long, it had turned into a full-blown cushion fight.

I was clutching my sides in hysterics on the floor when my phone started ringing. I sat up suddenly wondering who it could be. I scrambled around the room tripping a few times, which earned a few chuckles from Edward, before I found my phone wedged in the fold of the sofa. I smile lit up my face when I saw the Caller ID.

"Jacob!" I enthusiastically greeted him, out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward's hands ball up into tight clenched fists, his eyes darken and he sat rigidly back down, staying immobile after that.

"Bells," I heard Jake's husky voice from the other end.

"How are you, Jake? I haven't seen you in AGES!"

"That's why I called Bells! Can we hang out sometime? What about tomorrow?"

"Yeah sure; I'll come after school!" I beamed at the thought of seeing my best friend, the one who had helped me through my hard time of losing Edward.

"Bye Bells!"

"Bye Jake!" I hung up and was positively beaming until I saw Edward, then any traces of happiness left my face.

"Edward, are you okay?" I asked gingerly taking a step closer to him.

"I don't want you hanging out with him," Edward said to me, his eyes nearly pitch black. They scared me and amazed me at the same time.

"Wh-What?" I stuttered not being able to comprehend what was being said to be.

"I don't want you to be around him!" Edward said through his gritted teeth, this is the first time that Edward had ever been angry at me and it scared me to oblivion. Sudden anger rose in me.

"Why?"

"Bella, stay away from him!" Edward ignored my question and continued in his dark tone.

"No!" I was surprised at me sudden courage. "I will not leave him just because you told me so!"

"Bella, he-" I cut him off.

"He was there for me when you weren't!" I instantly regretted the words as they tumbled out of my mouth with zero filtering as I saw the expression of guilt and pain cross his beautiful face, instantly replaced with anger again.

"Bella, I don't want you to be friends with him!"

"What? Edward, I know you don't like Jacob, but nothing gives you any right what-so-ever to control who I can and cannot be friends with!" my voice had reached hysteria at this point. I sneaked a peek at Edward, he stood rigid in the same position and I could tell he was infuriated. Beneath the anger I saw that I had hurt him, a lot.

Suddenly he stormed out of the living room; I heard the front door slam, a car start up and I heard it screech away. I slowly walked up the stairs, one by one, feeling numb as the gravity of my loss hit me. I had only just got Edward back; I can't believe I lost him again. I curled up under the covers, not bothering to change, feeling guilty, angry and heartbroken. Sobs wracked through my body as I gently cried myself to sleep.

**E POV**

I pulled over to the side of the road and smashed my head against the steering wheel. _What the fuck have I just done?_


	10. Making Up and a La Push Rendevous

**Chapter 10: Making Up and a La Push Rendevous**

** B POV**

I awoke in the same numbness that I had fallen asleep into. My brain still couldn't comprehend what had happened last night. I kept relaying the events of the previous evening in my head and each time that happened, the guilt inside of me gnawed at me to breaking point. I sat up and smacked my palm against my forehead, cussing at myself for letting him slip through my fingers like sand. I guess I held onto him too tight. Like sand, the harder I held onto him, the quicker he slipped through my fingers. Now he was gone, leaving an empty void behind him. My chest felt like it was going to break in two, so I wrapped my arms around my chest, holding myself together. I rocked myself back and forth, dry sobs wracked through me as I had no tears left. I had used them all up mourning for my loss last night. My face was stiff from the dried tears that lingered there. My head was pounding like a truck had just slammed into it and my throat was as coarse as sandpaper. I reached for light remote on my bedside table and pressed the on button. I shut my eyes quickly as the glare from the light burned into my already sore eyes.

I swung my legs out of bed with the minimal amount of enthusiasm. I had a sense of déjà vu as I looked in my bathroom mirror to find my eyes red, my face tear stained and my vision blurry. I remembered that I had cried for him only yesterday. I felt really stupid now; crying for him when I already had him. The grief I felt then is nothing compared to what I was feeling now. I cleaned myself up not wanting to be in a state when I went to school. _School. _What am I going to do? Is he going to be in school? I seriously considered skipping school.

I stepped into the shower and, as I have done countless times before, sat down. I wondered what Edward would be doing this very moment. Would he be happy that he rid of me? He said that he couldn't live without me again. Was he lying? What would happen at school? Would we go back to square one? I decided that I wasn't going to there to find out. I'll get Charlie to phone and say I'm ill. I was being cowardice but I wasn't ready to have salt rubbed into to my already raw wounds.

I wandered back to my bedroom to get dressed for the long day it was going to be today without him. I grabbed my items of clothing from the closet, not looking or caring about what I was going to wear. I pulled on grey skinny jeans, a grey t-shirt which had Minnie mouse on it. _WTF? Minnie Mouse? _Alice bought all the clothes in my closet, why would she buy _Minnie Mouse? _I shrugged, _it's not like anyone is going to see me in it. _I added a fur-lined grey hoodie over the top to keep me warm as well as throwing grey canvas pistols on my feet. I looked down at my attire and realized it was all grey._ It reflects my mood._

As I got down the stairs I discovered that Charlie had already left for work. _Great, this will make faking easier. _I sat on my sofa, trying to think of something to do. I looked at the cushions that were strewn all across my living room and it reminded me of the good time Edward and I had last night. How that had horribly turned into a fight. I ran out of the living room before the tears started pooling out. Everything reminded me of him. There was one thing I was sure about though, I wouldn't ever leave Jacob. He glued me together when I was falling apart. All the times we spent in his garage, I can't let that go to waste. Jake fixed me when I needed it most; it would be most unfair if I left him. Though I can understand why Jake wouldn't want to be friends with me, I'm such a liability. I was left broken and he was the one who took me in and fixed me.

I walked around the house until I found myself in my studio. Of course I would find myself here; this place provides me with release. I thought about what I was feeling, how much my heart longed for him. How my day brightened when I saw him, and suddenly grey clouds appeared when he left. Whenever he's with me my troubles, my anxieties all disappear. No matter how much I can try, I can never let him go, whether he wants to hold on or not. I looked through all the songs I had wrote for him, _about _him. Would he ever hear them? What would his reaction be once he did? Guilt? Hate? I had another queasy feeling at the pit of my stomach once I realized that I had kept this from all of them. I felt like a terrible friend. Most importantly I kept all this from Alice, the one who always tells me everything. Even things I _don't _want to hear. I picked up my guitar and began wallowing in self-pity:

_I've been in a rut  
Back and forth enough  
Heart like a wheel  
Without you around  
So uncomfortable is how it feels_

_Every time you're near  
Trouble disappears  
Under the ground  
But when you go too far  
Silver clouds will start hanging around_

_And I know why  
Tried to run  
But I keep on  
Coming back  
Full circle  
And I can't jump the track  
Can't let you go_

_Tied to one  
So I keep on  
Coming back  
Full circle  
'Cause I know you'll come around  
You'll come around_

_Skippin' down a broken path  
How long can I last  
Please let me know  
Where's the finish line  
'Cause I've got to find somewhere to go_

_I don't want to hear  
People interfere  
What do they know  
What I feel inside  
When I'm up all night  
Needing you home_

_I don't know why  
Tried to run  
But I keep on  
Coming back  
Full circle  
And I can't jump the track  
Can't let you go_

_Tied to one  
So I keep on  
Coming back  
Full circle  
'Cause I know you'll come around  
You'll come around_

_'Cause I know you'll come around  
You'll come around_

_I'll keep on runnin'  
'til we meet in the middle  
I'll put pride aside  
And I'll give just a little  
There's miles to go  
But we both know that  
We'll make it_

_And I know why  
Tried to run  
But I keep on  
Coming back  
Full circle  
And I can't jump the track  
Can't let you go_

_Tied to one  
So I keep on  
Coming back  
Full circle  
'Cause I know you'll come around  
You'll come around_

_I know you'll come around  
You'll come around_

_Yeah I know you'll come around  
You'll come around_

I ran upstairs to grab my laptop to edit all the songs I had recorded since I had nothing better to do today. As I picked up my laptop I saw something flashing; _my phone. _I had gotten a new message from Alice . _Of course she would have found out about last night._

Her message read:

_Hey Bells  
I heard about what happened last night. :/  
I know it's hard on you but don't skip school, _trust _me.  
Love Ali x_

I was stunned at Alice 's message. Did she _want _me to be positively dying inside at school? Did she want to see me in my zombie state; the state I had turned into when Edward abandoned me. She told me to trust her; which I did, I had blind faith in this little pixie. So I would go to school today and face her, _him. _If it goes badly she has no one to blame but herself. But it's Alice ; she probably has some devious plan set out. I walked downstairs not wanting to disobey the tiny sprite. I locked the door and walked outside mindlessly; I froze once I saw the spectacle outside.

**E POV**

I hardly gotten any sleep last night, all I could think about was Bella. How stupid I was, that I let her go again. I can't believe I took my anger out on her, that irrational anger. She deserved so much better than that. I banged my head on the wall for the umpteenth time. I needed to fix this, so badly. I got up and walked over to the piano in my room and sat down on the bench. I played the lullaby I had written for her, imagining her face; her soft supple skin, her luscious lips, her captivating chocolate eyes. Her face was swimming in my head. I imagined she was sitting next to me, her small warm arms wrapped around my body. I reluctantly played the last note as her lullaby drifted to an end.

I got dressed sullenly and looked at the lifeless body in the mirror. My skin was extra-pale and I had dark circles under my eyes. I simply cannot live without Bella, that angel keeps me alive. I ate breakfast silently and pondered what I was going to do; should I go to school? How can I face Bella, when she most obviously hates me now, I was pulled out of my thoughts by Alice .

"Edward...EDWARD!" Alice was waving her hand in front of my face frantically trying to get my attention.

"Huh?-What?" I answered her, dazed. "Sorry, I zoned out."

"Yeah, I noticed," was her quick response.

"Whoa, Eddie boy," I glared at Emmett; he knew I hated that nickname. "What's got you down dude?"

"He messed things up with Bella again," Alice quipped.

"HAHA! YOU BLEW IT DUDE!" Emmett burst out in loud guffaws and Rose smacked the back of his head. I stared coldly at Emmett, who was unaffected by my icy gaze.

"It's not funny, Emmet!" Alice snapped. "Edward you really messed things up with her again. You really need to fix this,"

"I know Alice , I know," I sighed and leaned my head on the table. "But how do I fix this? Bella probably hates me now,"

"Edward," Alice said exasperated. "It's impossible for Bella to hate you."

"Nothing's impossible Alice ."

"Try telling that to someone who's attempting to slam a revolving door," that's something I admire about Alice ; her witty remarks, her ability to render you speechless. "She _loves _you Edward."

"Impossible. She can't after all that I've subjected her to," I muttered.

"Didn't you just say that nothing is impossible?" I could hear the smirk in Alice 's voice, even though I couldn't see it.

"Well everything has its exceptions. Okay?" I said a little flustered.

"Edward you need to go see her." My head snapped up at this.

"What?"

"You need to apologize to her Edward."

"I know Alice but I can't possibly face her after all that I did last night. She won't ever forgive me."

"She will Edward. _Trust _me."

"Okay so let's say I did go to her house. I wouldn't have the guts to even knock on her door!"

"I know which is why I already texted Bella. She was thinking of skipping school but I told her not to. All you need to do is wait outside her house for her to come out to go to school. Then you apologize. Simple."

"Easy for you to say," I grumbled.

"Seriously Edward. She will melt when she sees you; she will practically come running into your arms!"

"Ludicrous," I mumbled under my breath and got up from the table. I grabbed my coat and headed to my Volvo to complete possibly the scariest task in the world. I would rather inform someone of their execution than this.

"Good Luck Edward!" I heard Alice call from the house.

"Thanks!" I yelled back. _I'll need it._

I drove to Bella's house, growing more and more apprehensive by each ticking second. What is worse than the actual thing is the torturous wait in between. I pulled up to Bella's house, completely trembling. I was unsure of how to position myself. I settled for leaning against my Volvo, like I always do when I'm waiting for her. I heard keys rustling and the door handle turning; I took a shaky breath to calm myself. _Here goes nothing, _I thought.

**B POV**

I was absolutely frozen at the sight in front of me. There was the Adonis himself, leaning on his Volvo, looking at me with remorseful eyes. I knew then, in that moment that Edward was terribly sorry for what he had done. His face very terribly pale and he had dark circles around his eyes, which I'm sure matched mine.

"Bella-" he started with a painful expression on his face. Edward didn't have the chance to finish because I had already ran to him and thrown my arms around his neck. He lifted me up from the ground a bit. "I'm so sorry," he whispered to my hair. "I over-reacted and I'm sorry that I-"

"Shh" I leaned back from him so I could see his face. "It's okay. I forgive you."

"I shouldn't have been angry at you like that. It's my entire fault Bella I'm so sorry. You were right I had no right to tell you who you could be friends with. I'm so sorry," he continued rambling.

"Edward."

"I'm really very-"

"Edward!" He looked at me dazed. He had obviously not heard anything I said before. I chuckled.

"It's okay. I forgive you."

"What?"

"I forgive you." I beamed at him.

"Really?"

"Really, really! Now smile, I can't bear to see you sad." The corner of Edward's mouth turned up in his breathtaking crooked smile.

"Thank you so much Bella!" he hugged me tighter to his body and I sighed.

"Let's get to school," he said and opened his car door for me. All my worries had truly melted away the moment I saw Edward. I was so happy; I was nearly bursting with joy as we rode to school. Alice squealed when she saw me smiling and understood that Edward and I had made up. She jumped up and down while she hugged me.

School breezed past because I was fervently happy that I had made up with Edward. After Gym I met Edward by his Volvo and we drove to my house. I hopped out of Edward's car and started putting my stuff into my car.

"Where are you going Bella?"

"Umm," I didn't want to tell him I was going to visit Jacob in fear of another one of his outburst. "I'm going to La Push."

"Oh," he said and I could tell he was not happy about it. "See you tomorrow." He hugged me tightly to his chest and then suddenly he was gone.

"Bye." I whispered into the wind. I jumped into my car and drove to La Push excited to see Jake again.

"Bella!" Jacob came running out of the car and grabbed in a tight hug, spinning me around.

"Jake!" I stepped back to have better look at him. "Whoa Jake! When did you get so tall? And you're younger than me! This isn't fair!" I pouted. Jake simply laughed and that's when I noticed his arms.

"Wow! Hello biceps!" I said feeling his arm. "You know steroids are bad for you!"

"I'm just fillin' out Bells. Maybe if we hung out more, you would have noticed." I felt guilty at his statement. It was in fact true that I had neglected Jacob for Edward.

"I'm sorry Jake." I hung my head in shame.

"S'okay Bells. Come on!" he said leading me to his garage where he had music playing. Down by Jay Sean was playing. I sat in the corner while he worked on his motorbikes. I remember when I used to spend my whole days here, just watching him work. Jake and I had decided that once he had finished the bikes, he would teach me how to ride.

"Jake? Are you still up for teaching me how to ride once you're done?"

"Totally!" Jake smirked up at me. He handed me a coke and I started sipping it.

"So how are you Jake? How's Billy?" I asked honestly curious about the gossip in La Push in my absence.

"I'm good. Billy's okay as well. He hasn't seen Charlie in a while though." What? I thought Charlie visited La Push just the other day.

"What? Jake, Charlie said he came to La Push only the other day."

"Hmm, really? Well he wasn't here."

"Huh? I wonder where he went..." Billy was the only friend Charlie had in La Push. Except for Harry Clearwater of course, but Harry had died the previous year due to a bear attack. So where did Charlie go? I pushed the thought aside and focused on what I was here for; Jake.

"So Jake, any other gossip?" I know for a fact that Billy and Charlie gossip like old women.

"Well you know Seth Clearwater? Sue's son?"

"Yeah."

"Well his sister, Leah, just moved back to La Push." Jake had a dreamy look in his eyes when he said '_Leah.'_

"O-h! Somebody has a crush!" I teased him.

"Oh, shut up," he glared at me.

"Come on Jake, admit it. You like her don't you?" He kept his mouth zipped shut. So I started poking him repeatedly saying: "Come on, come on, come on. Tell me, tell me, tell me". I kept doing that until he cracked.

"Okay, okay _fine. _I like her, okay? Now quit poking me," he said rubbing his shoulder where I had been repeatedly poking him. I was glad that Jake liked Leah, he had started liking me over the time that we hung out together and it was very hard for me to tell him that I loved him but only as a friend. He was very sad over the next few weeks but he hid it from me well, but I could see through him as if he were crystal clear. "But I don't have the guts to ask her out. What if she doesn't like me?" he said nervously. Well this is a first. Jacob is usually bursting with confidence.

"Oh my god. The Great Jakester is _nervous_?" I gasped in mock-horror, punching his shoulder. "Seriously just be yourself. That usually does the trick!"

"It didn't on you," he grumbled really low.

"Jake," I sighed. "It would have if I wasn't already in love with someone else."

"Really?" his head perked up at the sudden boost of confidence.

"Yeah, totally. I mean you're really cute, nice, sweet, considerate and fun. She would be blind if she didn't like you!"

"Yeah, yeah she would," Jake said, his old cocky self coming out of it's temporary shell. "Speaking of love, how are things with Edward?"

"Ummm yeah...about that," I didn't want to tell him that Edward and I were friends again because Jacob hated Edward as much as Edward hated him. "He and I are kinda friends again."

"WHAT?" Jacob's head snapped up from the brakes he was tightening.

"He apologized and we're friends again?" it came out as a question because of my uncertainty of Jacob's reaction.

"Bella," he sighed. "I can't believe you took him back so easily after what he did to you!" He sounded more disappointed than angry, well that was unexpected.

"Oh don't worry, I made him work for it," I lied but I knew Jacob would be able to see right past me.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're so lying," he said dismissively.

"I'm not!" I said. Cue blush and here it comes.

"Bells, seriously do not try to lie to me of all people."

"Okay fine. But he was so sad and broken, how could I say no to him?"

"Very simply Bells. It's just two letters. Not that hard!" I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Any-hoo," Jake said trying to change the subject. "When are you gonna tell all of your friends about your musical ability?" Jacob said in a casual tone and I choked on my coke.

"Wh-What?" Jacob had to thump my back a several times before I retained my ability to speak.

"You know, the fact that you can write songs, sing and play guitar," he said in a matter of factly tone. How the hell does he know this? I was utterly baffled, how did Jake know when I hadn't even told him I had a _basement._

"Jake, h-how do you-?"

"Oh I came to your house once without calling and I heard you singing so I followed your voice and ended up outside your studio."

"The door is soundproof, how did you hear-?"

"Oh you had left it open."

"Dang it."'

"Bells you should really tell them, before they find out on their own. It really hurt when I realized what you had been hiding from me."

"I'm sorry Jake," I hung my head for the second time that day. "It's just that I'm not ready for anyone to know, but now that you do, you have to keep under wraps."

"But-"

"No. I'll tell them when I'm ready and the time is right. Besides I always lock the door."

"Not that time you didn't,"

"Okay, I forgot! But I will be making sure I do now."

"Fine, I won't tell anyone," he huffed. "But can I hear something in exchange?" I hesitated, did I want anyone to hear my songs? I wasn't ready to face scrutiny and disappointment, so I was just about to decline Jacob.

"Please?" he said looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

"Come on Jake," I scoffed. "That only works with Alice ." Alice has the most adorable puppy eyes in the world, no wonder she always gets what she wants.

"Please?" he then tried in a deep voice, acting all macho, trying to scare me.

"Jake seriously, that works on anyone _but _me." I knew Jacob wouldn't give up, so I looked away from his eyes which would eventually guilt me into letting him hear something, and I noticed it was dark outside. "Wow, Jake. Time flies when I'm with you." Jake was genuinely happy about my statement so he flashed me a grin. He followed me outside as I put my stuff back into my car.

"Bye, Jake. I'll come by again soon," I said hugging him.

"Yeah, you better," he scolded. "Oh and don't think this discussion is over missy. I _will _hear something."

"Yeah, whatever," I said getting into my car, grateful that I could prolong the discussion in which I was inevitably going to lose.

"Bye!" I called as I drove off.

"Bye!" I saw him waving in my rear view mirror. I always enjoyed my time in La Push; it allowed me to forget about what was going on in Forks. I was able to purely relax with Jake and think of nothing else, except for when he brings up the topics himself.

When I pulled up to my driveway, I saw that my car was the only car there. _Hmm, Charlie has been '_working_' late a lot. _I let the thought go and made him dinner which I covered and put on the dining table along with a note. After I changes into my pyjamas and brushed my teeth, I sat on my bed reading when I saw my phone flash in my peripheral vision. It was a text from Edward. It read:

_Home yet? x_

I could have sworn my heart literally melted. He was concerned about me so he was checking up on me. _Awww._ After I sent him a text back saying I was fine, and safely in bed, I got another one:

_Goodnight, Bella. Sweet Dreams x_

If my heart had melted it his first message, well it was all over the floor now. I swooned at the message and my heart fluttered and was sent racing. I'm pretty sure I was hyperventilating. I was so glad that he wasn't here to see my reaction otherwise he would have thought I was mental or something. His soothing text was the last thing I saw before I fell into a slumber with big goofy grin plastered on my face.


	11. New Arrivals and the Roaring Within

**Chapter 11: New Arrivals and The Roaring Within**

**BPOV**

I woke up on Friday morning to the sound of my phone beeping. I sat up quickly, confused and disorientated. I hunted around for my phone in my sheets; I had fallen asleep while texting. I found it at the foot of my bed, packed in the layers of my sheets, blankets and duvet. Edward and I had formed a habit of texting late at night until one of us falls asleep, but it almost always seemed to be me, then I would always be woken up by his text. I checked my texts and found that I had two new unread texts. One was from last night, I presume sent after I had fallen asleep. It read:

_It seems that you have fallen asleep. Goodnight and have sweet dreams Bella. x_

Edward, intentionally or not, certainly knew how to make my heartstrings play. There was also one from two minutes ago:

_Good morning sleepy head. Rise and shine. Alice wants to pick you up today. x_

I couldn't keep the huge smile off my face as I swung my legs out of my bed. I had strict orders from Alice that today; I had to have a thorough shower. _As if I don't ever!_ I quickly brushed my teeth and hopped into my shower, indulging in my sweet strawberry shampoo. I swiftly washed my hair, rinsing and repeating just like Alice had told me to, and wrapped a towel around me once I stepped out. I rubbed myself dry with the towel and slipped my dressing gown on. As I walked into my bedroom, I shrieked in surprise. There, on my king-sized bed, on my silky sheets, a tiny pixie was bouncing up and down, with a smile on her pretty face.

"How did you get in?" I all but screamed at Alice - Charlie had already gone to work so there is no way he could have let her in.

"Oh come on Bells, everyone knows you keep you key under the eave! Duh!" She explained to me as if it was very obvious.

"Oh, really? Well that's not good," I pondered aloud. So if everyone knew I could be plagued with stalkers! Alice , evidently saw the worry on my face.

"Don't worry Bella. By everyone I mean Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, Jasper and I." I sighed with relief.

"Now, back to business!" She chirped. I groaned in protest as I realized what Alice was here for. The evil little minx just smirked at me knowing I'd agree to whatever she had planned, regardless of whether I would actually like it.

"Let's get it over with," I sighed giving in.

"Yay!" Alice squealed, tossing me a garment bag, which probably contained my attire. I needn't peep inside to know what the outfit was; knowing Alice it would be something extravagant and very dangerous to my health.

" Alice ," I groaned as I headed, once more, to my bathroom. "I don't see why I have to do this!"

"Bella!" I could tell she was very frustrated. "Two of the most famous and talented people are moving to Forks! Forks of ALL places! This has to be the most exciting thing has ever happened!"

"I still don't see why I have to dress up!" I protest.

"First impression is always the last impression. So it has to be a good one!" She threw her arms up in the air as if emphasizing her point.

"And dressing me in death traps will make a good impression?"

"Ugh!" She groaned this time. "Just go!" She said pushing me towards the bathroom. I reluctantly obliged and placed the garment bag on the bathroom counter, dreading what lay inside. I opened it and found black denim skinny jeans, which had silver discs embellished under the waistband. Alongside the jeans lay a purple top; it had frills on the arms, a buttoned neckline and elastic at the waistband with frills below it. I reached out touching it and found it was satin; I rolled my eyes at Alice 's material choice. I swiftly dressed in the articles of clothing she gave me. I walked out slowly, gauging Alice 's reaction. As soon as I walked out, she engulfed me in a huge hug.

"Oh my gosh Bella! You look fabulous!" I tuned Alice out as she gushed about how good I looked; and how good she was at making choices and how I should really listen to her more. I was brought back from my daydreaming by a very frustrated Alice who was waving her hand in front my face frantically and calling my name.

"Bella!" She sighed as I came back. "You and Edward always zone off! It's so annoying!" _Wait...Does Edward zone off too? Hmm…I wonder what daydreams he has…_I sighed as I realized they probably weren't the same as mine.

"Err-um sorry Alice . What were you saying?" I zoned off again.

"_Never mind,_" She sighed frustrated, grabbed my hand and dragged me downstairs. I plopped down on one of the barstools, having grabbed cereal and milk, and positioned my bowl on the island. As I was pouring my milk into my bowl, I saw Alice take the seat opposite from mine. She was rapidly shaking her legs in frustration as some sort of energy release…? The girl cannot stand being still; she has excess energy. How does she have that much energy anyway? I never understood- she's like an energizer bunny.

" Alice don't you want something?" I said worried for the fact that she had had no food.

"No thanks! I've already had breakfast. Now hurry up!"

"What? You've _already _had breakfast? What time do you wake up?"

"Never mind that, just hurry! I wanna get to school!" I hastily finished my poor excuse for breakfast with Alice 's eyes watching me the whole time. I grabbed my bag and walked outside with Alice skipping in front of me. I rolled my eyes at her childish antics. She hopped into her bright yellow Porsche and motioned me to get in. I shook my head; I was going to ride in my car today. I hadn't been it for what felt like forever due to Edward always wanting to pick me up and drop me off.

"Nah Alice! I'm gonna ride in mine today! See you at school!" I fished my keys out of my bag and unlocked my car with a soft _beep _and the headlights flashed once. I stepped into my car, put the key in ignition and sped off- under the speed limit of course, towards Forks High school .

As I drove, I thought about the new arrivals we were going to get. I had seen them both on screen and heard about them a lot, but I didn't know what they were like as people. Would they be nice? Would it be another case of Lauren and Jessica? I really hoped it wasn't the latter as Alice was excited beyond belief to have them here. I was entirely consumed by these thoughts as I pulled up in my space in the parking lot. As I stepped out, I noticed Alice had reached before I did, along with Rose, Emmett and Jasper. I walked in their direction and greeted them all. While doing this, I noticed a certain Cullen wasn't here. I tried nonchalantly to search the parking lot for any sign of a head with messy, tousled bronze hair. I came up short and I also failed at being nonchalant.

"He's not here yet," I turned to a smirking and amused Alice .

"What? Who's not here?" I crossed my fingers behind my back hoping Alice would fall for it, but who was I kidding. Alice ? Fall for my stupid cover-up? Yeah right. That's like saying the Himalayas will fill up with water.

"Are you kidding me Bella?" Alice scoffed. "I know you better than you know yourself!"

"Okay fine! I was looking for him!" I gave into her. "Where is he anyway?" As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I saw Edward's tall god-like form sauntering towards us.

"Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear," Rose said bemused.

"Hello Bella," he said in his perfect melodious voice and flashed me his signature smile.

"Hey Ed-"

"OH MY GOSH! LOOK!" I was interrupted by Alice jumping up and down squealing like there's no tomorrow. I followed the direction of Alice 's gaze and saw a shiny midnight blue Ferrari and an orange Porsche pull into the parking lot. Out of them, came out two feminine figures.

**Sahaj POV**

As I stepped out of my car I walked over to Roslyn, feeling a bit overdressed and anxious. Roslyn on the other hand had her eyes fixated on someone across from us. _Oh boy, _I rolled my eyes. _She hasn't even met the guy yet she's in love! _I followed her sight to see a boy worth drooling over.

"Whoa," I choked out.

"I know! Eeeep!" she squeaked.

"Hmm, now that I think about it, he kind of looks like Rob…" I thought back to my darling boyfriend who was busy touring the country at the moment.

"Yeah…he does..." She trailed off, looking star struck.

"Any way," I slapped her arm and brought her back to reality.

"What?" Roslyn scowled.

"You can take your glasses off you know, Roslyn…It's not sunny here!" I explained the obvious to her, _yet again_!

"Oh right!" She hastily swiped her Gucci sunglasses off and stuffed them in her bag, trying not to look stupid, as Mr. Gorgeous was looking our way. She rubbed her arms and shivered. Now that I thought about it I was very cold. I also felt very stupid because Roslyn had made us dress up for school. _Crazy, fashion-obsessed girl!_

"Roslyn," I sighed. "Look how stupid we look," I said indicating to out ridiculous outfits. I was wearing a magenta top which had a cowl neck-line, short ruffled sleeves, embellished shoulders and a dropped waistband which created shape. _I _knew it would be cold so I added tights to my outfit. I was wearing velvet zip front sandals with five inch heel which were killing my feet. I had also added a necklace which had a cherry hanging from it and cherry earrings. I had loosely curled my black hair and left it down.

Roslyn was wearing a purple slinky over-sized jersey top which had a cowl neck-line as well with no tights whatsoever. She was wearing studded cage sandals with a six inch heel. How she walks in those, I do not know. She had a 'Miss Naughty' necklace around her neck, which was true. She was naughty, _very _naughty. She had added a pair of silver chandelier earring to match. Her blonde hair was straightened and left down like mine.

"What? Sahaj! You never told me it would be cold here! And the kids would have _such _a bad fashion sense! Except from the group of people with Mr. Hottie, their clothes are cute!"

"Roslyn! I told you! Forks would be _just _like England !"

"Yeah but it was really hot there…" she said confused. I smacked my forehead; it was times like these that I thanked her lucky stars that she was blonde. At least she had _some _sort of excuse for being so slow!

"No, no! Urgh! That was In-do-ne-sia!" I said enunciating each syllable. "_Eng-land_ was very cold! Remember? When you decided to wear a skirt at one of our outdoor concerts then you almost froze on stage?"

"OH!" She exclaimed when the gears in her brain started turning again. "There! Yeah that was really cold!"

"Duh, you dim bulb!"

"Well err…" Roslyn paused trying to think of an insult, it was times like _these _where I thanked the gods for making her famous and talented so everyone loved her otherwise she would be very badly bullied. "You're wearing a dress too!" She stuck her tongue out at me. She was also very childish…

"But I'm wearing tights with it!" She was silenced then, knowing she had, like always, lost

"Why did we move to Forks anyway?"

"It was _your _idea! Remember?"

"Really?"

"Yeah you were all like: 'Let's go to Forks and escape the paparazzi!'" I said, imitating of her voice.

"Oh," Roslyn said as realization dawned on her. "Well it's working because no one has recognized us yet and they haven't pounced on us yet."

"True," I agreed with her and was thankful for it. Normally, everywhere we went, we were surrounded by cameras and over-excited fans. Even though I couldn't see them I bet paparazzi were still here, hiding in the bushes or something, they never _ever _left us alone. I grabbed Roslyn by the arm and started walking towards reception to register. As we were talking, a loose crowd had formed around us, which we hadn't noticed at the time. The crowd slowly split in two as we walked in between them, all the while pointing at us and whispering.

"I think they noticed that it _is _us," I leant down to whisper in her ear.

"Yeah me too," As she said this she started walking straighter and glaring at anyone who was looking at us, including the tiny sprite-like girl who was bouncing up and down and was standing with Mr. Hottie. I followed suit.

**B POV**

The thing I had feared most was true. Even though I hadn't talked to them, I instantly knew they were another case of Lauren and Jessica as they walked past us and glared at Alice as she was jumping up and down staring at them. Alice , being her usual self wasn't disheartened. I had my lessons with Jasper this morning so I bade Alice, Emmett, Edward and Rose goodbye and headed with Jasper to our Math room. I felt a longing when Jasper said his goodbye to Alice . They didn't show much public display of affection, but the love in between them and in their eyes was so strong, so passionate, it was enough to make you look away. I diverted my eyes away from them as I felt that I was intruding on a private moment even though they were just looking at each other.

Math breezed by passing notes with Jasper and giggling the whole lesson. For a quiet, reserved and shy guy Jasper was a very fun person to be around. He always knew how I was feeling and was sensitive to that. He was the one who saw you and instantly knew how you were feeling at how to make you feel better. As a result of that, I was a much happier person when I walked into the cafeteria with Jasper at Lunch. That brief shred of happiness fizzled out when I saw who was sitting at the table. Sahaj and Roslyn. I threw a questioning look towards Alice who was at the epitome of happiness. Once I didn't get any other response from her, I threw one towards Jasper who, as always, had a neutral expression on his eyes. I could see the love and happiness of seeing Alice again shining in his eyes.

As we neared the table, Alice patted the seat next to her for me to take. It was directly across from Roslyn and Sahaj; I awkwardly and slowly took my seat; all the while looking around the table, discomfited. Once I sat down Roslyn beamed at me, I slowly returned it with a low half-hearted smile.

"Hi!" Roslyn said to me, her cheerful perky voice reminded me a lot of Alice .

"Uh-um, hi?" It unintentionally came out as a question.

"Hey." Sahaj gave me a soft smile.

"Hey…" I was thoroughly perplexed now. I turned my glare on Alice silently asking for an explanation.

"Well basically," Alice said in her usual high voice, "It turned out that I had morning classes with Sahaj and Roslyn. During the course of the morning we became friends!" That made sense, Alice is known for making friends very rapidly.

"Sorry about this morning," Sahaj apologized.

"Yeah, sorry; we only did that so people wouldn't launch themselves at us like normal." Roslyn said.

"We would have never done it if we knew you guys were so nice." Sahaj added.

"It's okay." I was still really baffled about the whole situation but I was glad that they turned out to be nice.

"So anyway, why did you guys move here?" trust Alice to always be nosey.

"We wanted to escape the paparazzi," Roslyn answered not minding at all.

"Well good luck with that!" I scoffed. "This is Forks, gossip spreads like wildfire."

"Aye, Aye, Aye," Sahaj said shaking her head and banging it lightly on the table.

"Where are you guys staying then?" Alice asked.

"In a house we bought near La Push," Roslyn answered.

"Ooh! La Push! Bella goes there all the time!"

"So guys, what is it like being singers?" I asked, truly curios to have met fellow singers, even though they didn't know I was one.

"It's really exciting at the start and I know it all seems all fun and no work but that's wrong. I love singing but sometimes we have to work long hours, recording songs over and over again until it is absolutely perfect. We could also live without being followed 24/7."

After I talked with them for a while I discovered that Alice was wrong. The first impression is _not _the last one. My first impression was completely wrong; they were actually two very nice and talented women. Just then Edward walked into the cafeteria. Literally everyone turned to stare at him as he walked towards our table, envying all of us. Especially Lauren and Jessica who were glaring at us for stealing the new arrivals, no doubt that they would do something to befriend them. As they often did with Edward, but of course they asked for something a little more than friendship there. Edward was Forks' own celebrity.

I even noticed Roslyn gawking at him as he came and something roared within me. Something that had made me want to rip her into tiny pieces and scatter them on the floor. But the feeling passed as quickly as it came and I instantly felt guilty for thinking that about such a kind person. Edward was looking directly at me as he was walking and once I'd locked eyes with him, he smiled and I ducked my head turning a million shades of red. Unfortunately this didn't go unnoticed by Roslyn and I thought I saw her give me a skeptical look out of the corner of my eye. Edward took his usual seat beside me and smiled at our guests, then turning to me and flashing me a smile that makes my heart race and my breath catch in my throat. I dragged my eyes away from his with much effort and studied my food.

"Roslyn, Sahaj, this is Edward; Edward, Roslyn and Sahaj." Alice did the formal introductions.

"Hello Ladies," Edward greeted them and dazzled them with his bright smile, showing his teeth.

"Hey," Sahaj smiled back, not affected at all by Edward's grin. _That was a first._

"H-hi," Roslyn stuttered out and I smiled internally. I could tell that no one as famous as he may be had stunned Roslyn as much as Edward had.

"So, are you guys a couple?" Roslyn collected herself and asked looking enviously at Edward and me. I choked on the old tasteless lettuce I was chewing. Edward thumped my back lightly as I coughed and cleared his throat looking anywhere but me. It suddenly became very awkward in the air between Edward and I and we both studied the ceiling and in my case, the floor.

"Um-no," I cleared my throat, trying to stop the ball of sand forming in my throat which prevented me to speak as it often did when I was about to cry. "We're um just friends." I now looked up to meet Roslyn's narrowed eyes, but still did not dare to look at Edward who was gazing at the doors of the cafeteria.

"Right," Roslyn dragged out looking disbelievingly between us. At that point I caught sight of Angela entering the cafeteria with Ben, which reminded me I hadn't asked her about the homework we had for Math.

"Excuse me, I have to, erm, go ask Angela something," I said grateful to find an excuse to get away from the stuffy atmosphere of the table. I as walked towards them I thought about Angela and Ben. They were like Jasper and Alice , except that they were both shy and reserved. Their love on the other hand was exactly like Alice and Jasper's. They didn't show it often but it was definitely there, I could see it as they looked at each other at that very moment.

"Hey Angela, hey Ben,"

"Hey Bella!" they both responded while I hugged Angela.

"Sorry to bother you Ang but what was the Math homework?"

"It's no problem Bella. We had to do exercise 3.2 from page 26 of the textbook."

"Thanks Ang! I owe you!"

"That's fine Bella!" she said I gave her a hug goodbye.

"Bye lovebirds!" I called to them over my shoulder and winked. It was adorable watching them both blush and look down. _Do I look like that?_As I walked back to the table I noticed Jessica and Lauren dithering there and talking to Roslyn and Sahaj. I caught a bit of their conversation as I neared the table.

"Do you want to join us at our table guys? I'm sure we would be _much_ better company," Lauren asked in her sickly sweet voice, looking directly at Roslyn and Sahaj and sneaking in a glare at Alice .

"Errmm, it's okay. Thanks for the offer though," Sahaj said. As sat down I saw that she was thoroughly unimpressed with them and was just trying to be nice. Roslyn on the other hand, was completely the opposite.

"See!" She exclaimed angrily. "This is what we moved to Forks to avoid, _phonies_," she said looking Lauren and Jessica up and down disgustedly. "No we _do not _want to sit with you so get out of here before I rearrange your faces, sluts!" Lauren and Jessica scurried away looking truly afraid of the menacing look that Roslyn had on her face. Roslyn tossed her hair and turned back to us, smirking.

"Well done, you know how to identify people correctly!" I said laughing and reaching over to give her a high-five across the table, all the earlier awkwardness and animosity forgotten.

"And you gave them a right telling off!" Alice mirrored my action to Roslyn.

"Yeah, I can be a bitch when I want to."

"Don't I know it…" Sahaj muttered loudly and we all burst into laughter again.

"Hey! It's not my fault!"

"So, do you guys wanna hang out after school?" Alice asked.

"Yeah sure. Where?" Roslyn replied.

"Do you wanna drive to Port Angeles and meet at the Mall?"

"Yes!" Roslyn looked as excited as Alice when shopping was mentioned.

"No!" I cried and everyone turned to look at me. "Anywhere but there," I begged. "I hate that place!"

"You and me both, sister," Sahaj said looking sympathetically at me.

"Come on, guys!" Roslyn reasoned with us. "It will be fun!"

"No! No, no, no, no, no, no! You have _not _been shopping with Alice ! It is a 100% _torture_!"

"Try going with Roslyn," Sahaj closed her eyes, rubbing her temples probably thinking the same thoughts that were going through my head. "It isn't a picnic either." Roslyn rolled her eyes and gave in.

"_Fine_," She said and Alice 's face fell. She turned to me pouting, sticking her bottom lip out and letting it quiver. I turned away trying not to be affected by it.

"Do you guys wanna have a sleepover instead then because the Ms Borings are holding us back?"

"Yeah sure," Roslyn exclaimed.

"No!" I cried again and Alice glared at me. "But that includes makeovers and stuff. That's even worse!"

"I agree," Sahaj said raising her hand.

"Well tough, deal with it," Alice said poking her tongue out at me.

"_Fine_" I agreed folding my arms. "But I'm not happy!"

"What else is new Bella?" Alice joked with me, while falling into an animated chat with Roslyn about fashion. All I heard that I understood was: "Gucci", "Dolce & Gabbana" and "Chanel". I rolled my eyes at her while turning to Sahaj who had mirrored my expression.

"Tonight will be fun, huh?"

"Totally," she replied.

"Hey, I just realized… where are Rose and Emmett?" I said. It seemed that everyone had also realized that just now. Edward and Jasper looked towards me having been brought out of their conversations, the same with Alice .

"Oh my god," Alice sighed. "Where do think they are Bella?" she said looking disgusted.

"Oh, ew!" The thought of them going at it somewhere in school, made me want to be sick.

"Do they have _no _self-control?" Edward said. I looked over at him now. The awkwardness between us had thankfully melted away and smiled.

"Apparently not," I replied.

"Who are Rose and Emmett?" Roslyn asked.

"Crazy sex-addicts."

"Nice," Sahaj said laughing.

"Yeah you will meet them tonight," Alice told them.

"I look forward to it," Roslyn joked.

Lunch passed very quickly and soon the afternoon lessons were over as well. At the end of school, I waved everyone goodbye and walked to my car still searching for Edward as I didn't see him with the others.

"Hey," someone said in my ear and their voice made shivers run down my spine. Only one person was ever able to do that.

"Hey," I turned to find Edward smiling down at me.

"I'm going to my house to get my stuff and tell Charlie that I'm staying at your house. See you in a few," I said hugging him goodbye.

"Bye," He said as I detangled myself from his embrace. I stepped into my car and revved the engine to life. I saw him watching me in my rearview mirror as I drove off, waving.


	12. Sudden Epiphanies and The Past

**Chapter 12: Sudden Epiphanies and The Past**

As I was driving home, I was hit by sudden inspiration and I marveled at my epiphany. I dashed out of the car, quickly locking it behind me, and into the house.

"Dad?" I yelled as I got into the hallway. I proceeded into my kitchen and found a note, written in Charlie's scruffy scrawl, on the island. It read:

_I've gone to La Push. I'll be back later. Bye Bells._

I sighed as I disposed of the note in the bin. Charlie never used to visit La Push this often, now his visits are becoming increasingly frequent. He visits Billy and Jacob more than me nowadays. I whipped out my phone, wanting to confirm my suspicion.

_Hey Jake! Is my Dad at your place? Xx_

I had a hunch that Charlie didn't always visit _Billy_, although I had no idea where he could go other than that. This thought momentarily distracted me from my ulterior motive for speeding home. I hopped onto the counter, contemplating what I should do. I absentmindedly picked up an apple and started twisting it in my hand, weighing the pros and cons of my idea. If I chose to follow the idea, it would mean being late and disappointing Alice . However, I was afraid that if I didn't transfer my epiphany into something physical it would somehow lose its magic. I dropped the apple in surprise when my phone beeped on the counter, where I had unknowingly placed it. I had a text from Jake, it read:

_ Hey Bells! Urm no your dad isn't here...Why would he be? He hasn't been here in ages! Btw when are you gonna come to La Push?_

The text brought me back to my senses. So I _was _right! Charlie _didn't _go to Billy's. So where _did _he go? I was thoroughly perplexed now. So I automatically found myself at the door of my studio, where I always find myself when I'm confused. That decided what I was going to do from the struggle I was going through: Whether to go straight to the sleepover or write down my idea? I was feeling completely baffled right now, so I chose to write down the beginning of a song with I had had my epiphany about. The beginning notes were still ringing in my ears. I quickly typed in the code, and stepped inside. I toggled the power button to the left of the door and the whole room came to life. I heard the soft whirring of the machines in the soundproof recording booth as they turned on, and I saw my various guitars shine in the spotlights which were being shined onto them. I stepped inside the booth and fiddled with the controls until it was set into the correct settings. I plugged in the keyboard, pressed the Techno button on it and started playing:

_You Would Not Believe Your Eyes  
If Ten Million Fireflies  
Light Up The World As I Fell Asleep  
Cause They Fill The Open Air  
And Leave Teardrops Everywhere  
You'd Think me Rude  
But I Would Just Stand And stare  
I'd Like To make Myself Believe That Planet earth Turns Slowly  
It's Hard To Say That I'd Rather Stay Awake When I'm Asleep  
Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems_

I kept playing that over and over again, willing the rest to come to me. All my efforts were in vain since I had spent, what felt like forever, trying to think of what to write next, but it just wouldn't come to me! I banged my head on the panel in frustration and without knowing, I had pressed some switches which made the studio start beeping and it began playing the feedback of a mike. I quickly covered my ears and dashed to the wall to flip the power switch so the ear-splitting ruckus would stop. As I did that, the room was plunged with darkness; I slid down the wall and rested my head against it. The darkness didn't unsettle me like I thought it would. It surprisingly calmed me. It was as if I had constant buzzing bees in my head, and they had all stopped to rest as the light was switched off. I reveled in the peace and quiet. The silence and tranquility that I was encased in was one which made me want to lose myself. I wanted it to last forever. But as they say, _all good things must come to an end._

My good thing came to an end when my phone started buzzing in my pocket. In that moment I was thrown off the realm of harmony, and abruptly into the ambit of reality. It hit me like a truck coming at full speed.

"_Shit,"_ I cursed when I realized where I was, and where I was _supposed _to be. I cringed when I read Alice 's text:

_BELLA? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?_

I could imagine Alice pacing in her living room, tapping her foot in annoyance. I swiftly left my safe haven, shutting the door behind me in an instinct to protect my secret. Dashing up the stairs, I grabbed some shorts and a t-shirt, tossing them into a duffle bag. After collecting my toiletries I dashed out of the door to my car. I pulled on the handle and once it didn't open, I realized I had forgotten my car keys in my studio.

"Urgh!" I groaned in frustration and ran back inside, after unlocking the front door with the key from the eave. As I was running past the counter, I realized that I hadn't left Charlie a note explaining where I would be. I snatched at a post-it, quickly scribbled a note and stuck it to the fridge:

_At the Cullen's, be back tomorrow. Sorry couldn't make dinner. Bells_

After sticking the note to the fridge, I felt guilty that I had been too absorbed in myself to remember to make Charlie dinner. I quickly surpassed the thought and ran down the stairs which led to my studio. I keyed in the code quickly and was greeted by the darkness of the room, the state at which had left the room at. I stepped inside finding that the calm and quiet was still there, locked away for me, whenever I should need it. I crossed my fingers as I toggled the power switch that the mike feedback wouldn't start again. Thankfully as I did, the room stayed silent as before. I sprinted into the recording booth and shuffled the various piece of notations of music aside which were littered everywhere, to find my keys loitering on the floor. I heaved a sigh of relief and exited the studio, following the procedure which had become second nature to me: switch off the power, shut the door, key in the pass code so the door would lock and run upstairs and shut the door which hid the stairs to the studio.

As I jogged out of the front door, I became conscious of the fact that I hadn't texted neither Jake _nor _Alice back. I whipped my phone out quickly and typed responses to both of them:

_Hey Jake! That's odd but thanks anyway! I will come over soon I promise. X_

_I'm so sorry Ali! I got caught up; I will be there very soon! I'm just leaving! X_

I pressed the little key which sent the messages. I prayed to God that Alice wouldn't question me about what exactly I had gotten 'caught up' in. I turned behind me and locked the door. Swiftly unlocking my car, I stepped inside, set the gear into drive and prepared myself to face Alice 's wrath. I had coils turning in my stomach, wondering how I would explain to them what I had been doing. By the time I parked my car in their garage I was ready to be sick. I stood at their front for with my finger a centimeter away from their doorbell and I was shaking with the inevitable interrogation that would follow this.

I asked myself if I was ready for anyone to know about my secret. No, I was not. It was bad enough that Jake knew, I did _not _need a further_seven _people knowing. Worst of all, I would hurt their feelings if they found out, Alice would be most hurt. She was my best friend, we tell each other_everything, _she even told me things that I _didn't _want to know about. They would all probably hate me and never want to see my face again. My heart sank at the thought. As ordinary as my relationship with the Cullens may seem, it goes back deeper than that. As much as it seems that we take each other for granted, we don't. I can't even begin to comprehend how I had even _breathed_ back when I was in Arizona , having not met the Cullens yet.

I was about four when my parents had parted ways. I still have the horrific memories of their heart-breaking separation. Charlie and Renée were love-blinded crazed high school sweethearts. They eloped fresh out of high school, a decision my mother regrets to this day because it effectively broke them apart. They never took time to contemplate their feelings, to see if they were solid, to see if they would last for _eternity. _I used to always get lectures from Renée, _not _to be like her. Renée is a very high-spirited, care-free and spontaneous person.

I remember always having to be the parent figure in our relationship. I used to always have to look after my eccentric mother. Maybe it was because of Renée's spontaneity that taught me responsibility. It _was _Renée's spontaneity that caused her to make such a big decision to marry Charlie at such a young age. Renée always regarded their marriage to be a mistake, although she constantly reminded that I was the opposite. The love that Renée had for Charlie was only temporary and soon fizzled out. Charlie, on the other hand, was completely different. Charlie had loved Renée wholly and truly. Even though he didn't show it, I knew that he still did and I know that it hurt him deeply every time he saw Renée with Phil, happy and content. I knew he wished that that was still him and Renée.

After getting fed up of her boring life in Forks, Renée took me and ran away to Phoenix , Arizona . That was where Renée had met Phil, a minor league baseball player, and fallen in love with him. As much as I wouldn't like to admit it, I knew that Phil was right for her. He could control her in a way Charlie was never able to. He knew how to handle her and Renée had finally settled in his arms. No one could replace Charlie for me though, no matter how nice or caring Phil is, my father was Charlie and will always remain so. Charlie isn't a man of words or expressing feelings and we don't need to tell each other we love each other for the other to know. It is like unspoken mutual knowledge between us. Saying it aloud would imply that we don't love each other, so we have to constantly show it.

Phil always needed to travel and Renée had to always stay at home with me. I knew it made her unhappy, so I asked to move in with Charlie so Renée could travel with Phil. That was how I ended up in Forks High School at the age of thirteen. I knew that Charlie was delighted to have me living with him, since he had lived a lonely life for over nine years.

I remember being very nervous on the first day of school. That was the day that my world had suddenly been set into place. That was the day I met Alice, Rosalie and Edward; the day I met the Cullens. Alice, Rosalie and I had suddenly clicked. It was as if we were best friends separated at birth. That day I had also earned the best friend which I lost afterwards, until now. Edward. Edward was mostly isolated from everyone else, not that nobody wanted to be friends with him., quite the contrary actually. _Everybody _wanted to be his friend. I was quite surprised when eventually Edward opened up to me; it was something I never expected would happen. Meeting Esme and Carlisle for the first time was nerve-wracking but amazing. They both treated me as their own from day one. They never treated me like a guest, but as a member of the house.

My finger on the doorbell, ready to ring it, I paused again. Was the little secret that I had kept from them for so long really so necessary to be kept so secret? I internally kicked myself for making such a mistake. I wanted to punish myself severely but I couldn't. I was standing at Alice 's doorbell ready to face my doom. I took a few deep breaths and tried to push the button, but it didn't work. It was if the doorbell and my finger were like poles on a magnet, it kept repelling me. It was as if there was invisible force field around it, allowing me to procrastinate the hell I was about to face. I kept repeatedly trying this but I still couldn't accomplish the task of ringing the doorbell.

When I was about to ring the doorbell for about the millionth time, the door swung open to reveal Alice . It was like time had frozen, I just stood there gaping at her, gauging her reaction. Waiting for the profanities to start, but none came. Instead I was grabbed into a tight hug. To say I was shocked would be the understatement of the century.

"Bella where the hell were you at?" she yelled at me once she'd stopped depriving me of oxygen. There was the interrogation I knew that would come. I struggled to think of a response other than the obvious.

"We were so worried about you Bella!" she said and grabbed me into another tight hug. I was so touched by that little sentence.

"Where were- you know what? I don't care. I'm just glad you're safe!" she continued hugging me. I internally sighed with relief. I got away that time but I had to be more careful when it came to time management.

"So where were you?" _Darn it! _I knew she wouldn't let it go, I'm not that lucky.

"I started reading," I blurted the first thing that came to mind. Alice rolled her eyes, obviously buying it. I did an internal happy dance that she wouldn't find out my terrible deed. Even though she believed the lie I fed her, it didn't mean I was off the hook.

"Bella," she sighed and rolled her eyes again. "Seriously you read too much. Now come on! We've all been waiting for you!"

I could not even believe how lucky I was. I thanked the heavens above who had obviously heard my prayer. As I walked down the hall into the living room, I idly wondered what they had all been doing in my absence and what we would do now. I knew that Sahaj and Roslyn were already here since I saw their cars parked in the garage alongside mine. Most importantly, I wondered what Edward had done. Had he even _noticed _my absence?

As soon as I entered into the doorway of the living room, I froze. The view inside the room was one that broke my heart into little tiny pieces. I would normally be happy to see a bright smile spread across the love of my life's face. If I was the being who was lucky enough to place it there. Jealousy flooded my blood and coursed through my veins. It consumed me up until it filled every inch of me. Suddenly all the jealousy dried up and was replaced with sorrow, realization and heart-break. A huge lump of sand formed in my throat and I found it hard to swallow. Realization dropped its heavy load on me the second time that day. It was all too much and I felt tears beginning to prick my eyes as I turned and ran up the stairs so I wouldn't have to endure more of the torture. I faintly heard Alice calling my name and I felt the vibrations of her soft footsteps as she bounded up the stairs behind me. As I reached the top of the stairs, Alice had caught up to me. She grabbed my wrist and spun me around to face her.

"Bella what's wrong?" she asked softly and wiped the tears, which had glided down my face, away. Instead of responding I just sat sown on the carpeted landing, feeling a new torrent of tears coming full speed. "Bella, tell me," Alice whispered as she sat next to me and wrapped her arms around me. I cried even harder at her kindness and gentleness, knowing what an awful friend I was for keeping secrets from her. I lay my head on her shoulder and put my arms limply around her as well.

"She's perfect," I croaked into her shoulder and hid my face in it. I had never _ever _cried in front of anyone else. Even if I was upset, I'd put up a strong front for everyone to see. Even though Alice always knew when I wasn't okay, she had never seen me cry. I didn't like for anyone to help me. I didn't like anyone to think I wasn't independent. I didn't like anyone to see the weak side of me; I didn't like anyone to see past the strong walls I had built up around me. I was Bella Swan, the girl who can handle everything and never gave up. I wanted everyone to think I could manage anything that was thrown my way. I could, I could manage _everything. _Just not this. I couldn't handle it, it hurts too much.

"What?" I could tell Alice was very confused about what I was talking about and why I was crying. "Who's perfect?" I didn't want to tell Alice , I didn't want to tell _anyone_, what had brought this irrational grief upon me. I was very embarrassed that I could cry about something so trivial but needless to say I couldn't stop crying.

"Her, Alice . She's perfect for him," I said my voice breaking on the last word.

"What, Bella? I don't understand. Who's perfect for whom?"

"Roslyn!" I threw my arms up in emphasis. "She is! She's perfect for Edward!" I vented all my feelings when I said that. She was, she was perfect for him. I saw that when I walked into the living room. They were nothing laughing and having a good time with each other and it stung me. It hurt me that he didn't even know I was missing, let alone care. He was too busy to car, he had Roslyn. Roslyn was everything Edward needed, everything he could ever want. That fact pierced me like a thousand needles were constantly being jabbed into my heart. She was beautiful, witty, famous and talented. Anyone would prefer her over me any day.

"What?" Alive said her tone bewildered. "You honestly think that Bells?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "She's everything he needs! She's beautiful, smart, famous and very talented. Edward and Roslyn make the perfect couple!"

"No, no, Bella. You've got it all wrong. _You're _perfect for Edward, not Roslyn," Alice sighed and shook her head.

"Am I wrong Alice ? Really? Because Edward was having such a good time without me, he didn't even notice I wasn't there, let alone care."

"No! Bella! He did care. He was so worried!" she said frustrated. I scoffed at her statement.

"Yeah, right. I don't matter to him Alice . And I never will."

"Yes you do Bella! Why don't you understand? Edward _loves _you!" Alice groaned and I scoffed again. "Urgh! Bella why won't you believe me?"

"Because it's not true!" I retaliated.

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not! It can't be!"

"Yes it- you know what? Never mind, I'll prove it to you," after saying that Alice grabbed me and pulled me up two flights of stairs, to the utmost top floor of the house. Where Edward's room was located, Alice still had a hold of my wrist and she dragged me inside and towards his piano.

His piano stood majestic and proud on a raised platform at the corner of the room. It was beautiful, shiny, sleek and sophisticated. I imagined Edward sitting on the piano stool I could see in front of me and playing. I imagined his long elegant fingers gliding over the keys. I hadn't seen Edward play for a very long time. I wondered why Alice brought me here; I don't see how his piano proved that he loved me.

"What Alice ?" I asked turning to face her.

"Wait," was her response. I saw her filing through all the various sheets of music. As she did this I realized that Edward's room looked a lot like my studio, littered everywhere with sheets of discarded compositions. I picked one up, nearest to my feet and began humming the melody. So it was one of these pieces that he hummed to me when I fell asleep in his arms. Soon I found myself hunting through his sheets as well, looking for more of his wonderful music to play in my head and searching for the peaceful piece that I still hadn't been able to get out of my head. Edward was truly a wonderful composer; I pondered why on Earth he could have stopped playing.

"Aha!" Alice called out in triumph as she held up a sheet of music. "Got it!"

"Got what Alice ?"

"Look!" she said, thrusting the sheet into my hand. "Look!" she repeated, jabbing at the title with her finger.

"Bella's Lullaby," I gasped as I read the title. As I quickly scanned through the notes, I found that _this _was the one. This was the piece that I had heard him humming. This was the piece to which I had fallen asleep to. This was _my _lullaby. This brought me back to the title. Why on earth had Edward decided to name such a beautiful piece after me?

"What? I don't understand Alice ," I shook my head and I handed the piece of music back to Alice .

"Don't you see Bella? It's _Bella's _Lullaby! No one else's! It's yours! He loves you Bella! _Now _do you understand?"

" Alice this doesn't prove he loves me, as much as I would like him to, he doesn't. He just likes me a lot. I'm fine with it. I'll take whatever he gives me."

"But Bella! He-" I knew that this argument would go on forever so I interrupted Alice and suggested we go downstairs. Alice dragged me to her bathroom and cleaned my entire ruined make up off then proceeded to put it back on me again. I, personally, didn't see the point.

I was incredibly nervous as I walked down the stairs. I didn't think I'd be able to handle it of I saw Edward and Roslyn together and happy again. To my relief they were both engaged in separate conversations. As soon as I entered, Edward caught my eye. He sprang up from the couch and sprinted over to me, hastily grabbing me into a tight hug. Right there, in that moment, I felt better. I was in my safe haven. I was in Edward's arms._Take that Roslyn._


	13. Heart to Heart and Pool Plunges

**Chapter 13: Heart to Heart and Pool Plunges**

**BPOV**

As soon as I detangled myself from Edward's magical embrace the peace and calm bubble around us burst and we were exposed and it was if the play button was pressed on the world around us.

"Okay! Now that Bella's here, let's do some sleep-over stuff!" there came the usual perky high-pitched voice of Alice . I internally groaned and as I looked around the room, I saw my frustrated and annoyed expression mirrored on Sahaj's face. I smiled noticing she was having the same thoughts as me. She was the first person who I had ever seen had the same dislikes as me. I had a feeling that we were going to be great friends.

"Told you," I mouthed to Sahaj, shaking my head as Alice and Roslyn engaged in a lively conversation about what we should do in our 'girly sleepover'.

"Ooh!" Roslyn squealed. "We should so do each other's make-up and hair!" My eyes bugged out of my head while Alice and Roslyn started doing a little happy dance. As I looked back to Sahaj, I saw her motioning to Roslyn's neck and pretending to strangle it. Once she caught my eye, we both burst out laughing. This caused the boys, who were playing video games, Alice and Roslyn to give us weird looks. We ignored them and continued laughing. As I walked over to Sahaj, I wondered where Rose was at. I could see Emmett sitting in front of the TV like a little kid, playing on his Wii but Rosalie was no where to be found.

"EM!" I yelled to Emmett. I had to shout quite a few times before I finally had his attention. "Where's Rose?"

"Oh she went to shop for a few things," after that he resumed flailing his arms about holding the Wii remote and nun-chuck, having a boxing match against Jasper while Edward was sitting on the couch, with his eyes closed, earphones plugged into his ears. I had to tear my eyes away from him because I couldn't resist the marvel of this Adonis.

"Hmm, I'm hungry. Bells, can you make me something?" Emmett asked me once I had reached the huge sofa, opposite the boys, where Sahaj had made her self comfortable. I had an idea then which would let Sahaj and I escape from the torture that Roslyn and Alice had planned for us.

"Sure Em. Want chocolate fudge cake?" I asked hoping Emmett was in one of his very frequent food moods.

"Ooh! Yes!" his eyes went wide and he grinned like an idiot. I could already see him drooling over the idea of cake. I rolled my eyes, typical Emmett.

"Come on, Sahaj. Help me make cake," I grabbed her hand and hauled her to her feet.

"What? I don't want to make cake-", she started, with a confused expression on her face.

"No," I said taking her aside. "I don't want to either but this gives us an excuse to get out of whatever they," I jabbed a finger towards Alice and Roslyn, "have planned."

"Oh," realization dawned on her face as she deciphered what my ingenious plan was and smiled. "You, Miss Swan, are a clever child," she giggled before we both ran into the kitchen. I docked my phone onto the speakers and blasted the music throughout the huge kitchen. We both coordinated what were going to do and got started, while nodding our heads rhythm of whatever music was being played.

After much difficultly, we finally managed to get the cake mixture into the oven. We were sitting on the counter, idly chatting, when Blah, Blah, Blah by Ke$ha annihilated through the speakers. We couldn't help but dance and sing to it. We hopped off the counter and made our own dance to Blah, Blah, Blah, while, literally, yelling the song. We were both holding our sides in stitches once we were done and Dead and Gone came which gave us a chance to calm ourselves down. I realized then what fun company Sahaj was, and how terribly wrong my first expression was.

"Hmm you know Bella?" she asked turning to face me.

"Yeah?" I said while lip-syncing the lyrics to Dead and Gone.

"Even though we were both practically screaming the song, I can tell you're a really good singer," she said and my eyes popped out.

"Really?" I squeaked, trying not to look guilty.

"Yeah, definitely. Have you ever had lessons?"

"No," I replied hoping she would let it go and desperately hoping she wouldn't see past my pathetic poker face. I thanked the heavens when the oven timer dinged and alerted me that the cake was done baking. I rushed and open the door of the oven, only to be hit by a burst of hot air. I heard Sahaj laughing at me as I was thrown back slightly for the gush of air. "Hey! It's not funny!" I stuck my tongue out at her, secretly glad that I had, unintentionally though, changed the subject.

"Here," she hopped off the counter and came to my rescue and took the cake out of the oven successfully after grabbing the over gloves from the counter.

"There we go, and that's how you do that," she said giving me a look, teasing me. Shortly after, an exposed part of her arm came into contact with the oven tray and she yelped.

"FAIL!" I exclaimed while doubling over in laughter, as she ran her arm under cold water from the sink.

"It's not funny," she grumbled, sticking her tongue out at me.

"Oh, trust me, from here it is!"

"Shut up and ice the cake," she said jerking her head towards the cake, which was still steaming.

"Maybe we should let it cool first…?"

"Oh yeah!", she said laughing, closing the tap and drying her arm on a kitchen towel.

I carefully picked up the cake and placed it on a cooling rack, then positioned it in front of the open window so it would cool first. After doing that, I went and resumed my place next to Sahaj on the counter. Suddenly, while we were in mid-conversation, she placed arm in front of me, motioning me to be quiet.

"Shh," she said. "Listen.", she reached behind me and turned the volume up on the speakers, only then did I realize what she was talking about. 'Hush Hush' was playing, my favorite song of all time. Without realizing it, I started singing in my strong voice, along with Sahaj. I only became aware of the fact that I saw singing confidently, when I was supposed to be hiding that fact, when I saw Sahaj gaping at me.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath. "I can explain," I squeaked, studying Sahaj's face for a reaction.

"I KNEW IT!" she suddenly yelled in an outburst and I cringed. "You sing don't you?", she said squealing and jumping up and down.

"OH would you keep it DOWN?" I said grabbing her and making her come to an abrupt halt, but there was no stopping her.

"You write songs don't you?", she said over-excited again.

"I-" I stalled trying to think of a reasonable lie.

"Come on admit it! I let it go before but we both know you're a terrible liar," she said stopping and placing her hand on hip and giving me 'the look'.

"Okay, okay fine I do," I admitted putting my hands in the air in surrender.

"I KNEW IT!" she exclaimed for the second time that day.

"PLEASE would you keep it down?" I quieted her for the second time that day. "Oh, this is absolutely great; first Jacob, then you. I just can't keep my mouth zipped can I?" I said distressed, walking back to the counter and leaning against it, hanging my head.

"Aw what's wrong? You should be happy, you have a great voice," Sahaj said walking to my side.

"It's just that," I sighed. "I don't want anyone to know and I've kept it a secret for so long I can't just say 'Hey guys, guess what? I can sing!'. I'm also terrible at lying so it makes keeping this a secret really hard and I've blown my secret to two people now! All in the same week! First Jacob finds me singing in my "so-called" secret studio then I blatantly sing in front of you! I'm hopeless!" Sahaj stood there next to me, listening to my rant. I could tell she was good at reading people and how they were feeling, as a result she took the right steps in order to make them feel better.

"Wait you have a secret studio?"

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"That's exactly like-wait never mind. Bella, listen. You're not hopeless." she said in a comforting tone, putting her arm around my shoulders and rubbing my arm. "I know what you're feeling right now, but the truth is, you have to tell them. You may feel like you can just hide it just Bella, you can't. They're your best friends Bella. You've already kept it from them for long enough. The longer you keep it, the longer the rift will be between you guys when they finally find out. And they need to hear it from you, don't let them catch you at it. But on the brighter side, I have finally found a person who could be my exact twin." Her little talk made me feel a lot better, even though I was fully aware of the consequences which would ensue when I told them about my secret.

"Wait, how are we alike?" I asked catching on to her comment at the end of her little speech.

"Well for one we both have secret studios," she said smirking.

"Wait what? You have a secret studio? Why? The whole world knows how shit you are at singing," I said winking to let her know I was only joking.

"Shut up you," she nudged me in the side and winked back. "Well before my agent found me, i used to keep my "shit singing" a secret too." I laughed at her catching onto out playful joking insulting.

"Really? Why?"

"The same reason, you're keeping it a secret, I guess."

"Oh, so you didn't want the whole world to go deaf with your terrible singing?" We laughed together at the playful atmosphere around us.

"I know that's the reason you're keeping it a secret Bella," she said jokingly but then turned serious. "For me it was because I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want to be judged and criticized."

"But you're not. Everyone loves you," I said puzzled that someone like her could be insecure.

"No Bella, I'm not loved by everyone. No matter how good you are, even if you're the best singer in the world, there are always people out there who will criticize you and try to bring you down. You can't please everyone Bella. You just have to keep that in mind, and take a bold step forward in life, hoping for the best."

"If you were afraid of being criticized, how did you get into the singing business? I mean it's not like you sent demo tapes in if you were afraid of rejection?"

"No I didn't send a demo tape in for precisely the reason you just said. Roslyn sent demo tapes in of her self and got contracted by Big Machine Records; I have to admit I was terribly jealous at this point. I didn't want to let anyone know I could sing but I wanted to find out if I was any good. One day Roslyn found one of the tracks I wrote, and then sent that in to her Manager. Apparently he loved it and signed me up. It was my birthday party when her Manager turned up with another official from the record company and asked to sign a contract with me. Well that turned into my debut."

"Wow," I said speechless from hearing her story. "How did Roslyn react when she found out you'd been keeping your talent a secret form her? I mean you guys are best friends."

"Well her reaction came as a surprise. She was upset that I didn't tell her because we were best friends and told each other everything but she also understood how insecure I was. I really hope that's how everyone reacts when you decide to tell them."

"But they won't though. They will hate me, we're all practically like family here, and they will loathe me for not telling them."

"Look Bella, I'm good at reading people. I can tell how much everyone loves you here, and you're very lucky for that by the way don't ever forget that. Sure they will be upset that you kept it a secret from them but they'll get over it and they will also understand why you kept it a secret."

"I really hope so but I'm not ready to tell them just yet."

"I know, it's okay. Your secret's safe with me," she winked at me and we laughed, the air turning light again. "You know, we really should ice that cake."

"Yeah, we should." I said laughing and bringing the cake over from the its place near the window to the island.

"So Bella, what's up with you and Edward, eh?" she said nudging me in the side and winking suggestively. That was enough to make me blush as finished putting the first layer of chocolate icing on the cake.

"Well-," I started but I didn't get the chance to finish because Mr. Perfect walked into the kitchen.

"Speak of the devil," Sahaj muttered to me and we giggled.

"Mmm, I smell cake," Edward said grinning and reaching out to taste the icing.

"Hey!" he said as I slapped his hand away.

"You can't taste the cake yet! I haven't finished icing it yet!"

"But I want to," he pouted. "Please?"

"No!" I said with much difficulty as it was nearly impossible to deny his cute pout. Sahaj was looking back and forth between us, grinning knowingly, and walked out of the kitchen saying something about going to check on Roslyn.

"Fine," he said smirking devilishly. "I'll just have to take it."

"No, Edward. Step away from the cake," I said grabbing the cake and running around the island so I was opposite him. He didn't listen and started coming around the counter, so I ran to the other end of it.

"Bella, gimme the cake," he said smirking and started stalking towards me.

"No! You can't have it yet!" I ran out of the kitchen with the cake and as I looked back Edward was chasing after me at full speed. I was squealing while being chased by him around the house. I was surprised he didn't catch me in the first five seconds. We ended up in the living room, running around all the sofas, annoying everyone, including Emmett who was upset that his cake was being mistreated.

I was too busy looking behind me while I was running that I forgot to look at where I was going. I ended up nearly running into the coffee table in their living room, I swiftly turned around so I wouldn't hit it and seriously damage my shins. What I didn't realize is that Edward was right behind me and when I turned around the cake splattered all over his cake and clothes.

"Oh my god," I said as we, except Edward, fell into a fit of laughter.

"My cake," Emmett yelled, which just made me laugh harder. You could hardly see Edward's face it was all covered in brown chocolate icing. He wiped the cake away from his eyes using his index fingers and through the thick layer of cake I could see he was grinning evilly. He opened his arms and stared walking towards me.

"Gimme a hug Bella," he said teasingly knowing I wasn't going to want to.

"No," I said laughing and swatting him away. "Go shower first."

"No, I want a hug now Bella," he said chasing me around the living room again.

"EDWARD! THAT IS AN EXPENSIVE OUTFIT! DO NOT RUIN IT!" Alice yelled outraged and coming to my rescue but Edward didn't listen and continued. Eventually, not at all surprisingly, he caught up with me.

"Happy now?" I said as he enveloped me in his arms, which normally I would have been ecstatic to be in, but I was wet and sticky. Not nice.

"Yup," he said giving me a huge grin which made me lose my pretense of anger and I laughed with him while Alice gave us both death glares. "Now we're even."

"Urgh gross," I said stepping out of his, also chocolate-y and sticky, arms and examining myself. The whole front of my outfit was covered with chocolate icing and it had seeped through to my underwear so EVERYTHING was uncomfortable. "I need a shower."

"Wait," he said getting a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I have a better idea."

"Oh no," I backed away knowing that this wasn't going to be good.

"Oh yes," he said evilly nodding his head, stalking towards me and picking me up bridal style.

"Edward! Put me down!" I squealed beating his chest but he continued, unaffected. I got the gist of where he was going with this, once he walked out into his backyard.

"No," I gasped. "You wouldn't."

"Watch me," he said throwing me up in the air and causing me to plunge into the freezing water of his outdoor pool. I saw him laughing as I hit the ice cold water and sunk down. I was about to kick up to the surface when I had a sudden idea. That'll teach him to mess with me. Instead of kicking up to the surface, I let myself sink to the very bottom of the pool, hoping that all those competitions with Edward about who could hold their breath the longest had paid off. I could imagine him at the edge waiting for me to rise up and I could imagine him getting more and more anxious as the seconds ticked on. I was hoping that he'd give in soon because I was running out oxygen. Fast. I was just about to give up and kick up when I saw him dive in the pool. Mission accomplished. I broke the surface of the water with a smirk on my face but that changed as soon as I saw his expression. It was beyond the point of hysteria and I knew that our little joke was over.

"Bella!" he said crushing me into his arms as soon as he had helped me out of the water. "Don't ever do that again; I was scared shitless." I instantly regretted how far I had taken it; all he did was throw me into the pool. I could tell how much I had scared him because his arms had a concrete grip around me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered into the crook of his neck. Even though we were both dripping wet and shattering in the cold air, I felt something pass between us. A mutual acknowledgment of how much we cared about each other which didn't need to be said out loud for it to be known.

"Bella, you don't know how petrified I was. I thought I-" I stopped him by grabbing his face in my hands and I didn't realize how close my face was to his. Looking deep in his eyes I realized that life doesn't come without risks and this is a risk I had to take. I couldn't play it safe for the rest of my life. I couldn't be afraid of what everyone would think for the rest of my life. I had to tell him. I had to tell him the extent of my feelings. He needed to know. I needed him to know. I needed to know what he felt. I needed to know so I could stop living in false hope. Sure this wasn't the right place. The right time. I didn't care, unplanned things are the best things.

"Edward, I," I took a deep breath in frustration. I could get those words out. It was simple; three words, eight letters, three syllables. Yet I couldn't force them out of my mouth. Why couldn't I get it out? I choked up every time I tried.

"Bella what's the matter?" I could tell Edward was getting worried because I could feel tears forming in my eyes.

"Nothing," I whispered, resting my head on his shoulder, I let the tears drop knowing that he wouldn't know I was crying because he was already wet. Maybe this is my body's way of telling me that it isn't the right time yet, I reassured myself but the tears wouldn't stop falling. I was trying my utmost to not sniffle because then Edward would know something was up and demand to know what was going on. To stop myself from sniffling, I buried my head in his shoulder pretending I was just reveling in his presence, which I was. I couldn't figure out why i couldn't say those words to him. I've said them to him in my dreams. My songs. Why couldn't I say it to his face? I quickly wiped my face discreetly before lifting my head from his shoulder and attempting a smile. As soon as he put his hand on my cheek and stroked my smile broke off my face and tears poured down my face again and this time i couldn't hide them. I bowed my head embarrassed of the tears that were flowing freely and I couldn't hold back the sobs that wracked through me when the full reality of never being able to have Edward hit me.

"Oh Bella," he said stroking my hair and holding me close to him, knowing that was exactly what I needed. I didn't know how Edward but he always knew how to make me feel better. Soon my tears turned from heartbreak to guilt as soon as I realized how good he was to me and how I had been to him. He had never kept a secret from me and here I was, confiding to the person I had only met today not my best friend who I had loved for my whole life. "Tell me Bella," he said rubbing my back. "Tell me what's on your mind. I want to help." I cried even harder at his concern but he had me trapped. What could I possibly say to him that would justify crying in his arms every time I was with him. "It's okay," he rubbed my shoulders, sensing my hesitation in answering him. "Tell me when you're ready."

"Thanks," I croaked, pulling away and wiping my face but laughing half-heartedly when I realized it was so use because I was wet anyway. Edward smiled at me and I took a deep breath, pulling myself together. For Edward, at least, I had to be strong.

"I'm here for you. Always," he said looking into my eyes making sure I got the message.

"I know," I nodded, smiling.

"And I'm sorry for the whole cake on you then throwing you in the pool thing," he said smirking.

"Well I scared you shitless so I guess we're even," i said grinning.

"I guess we are," he said winking at me. "Now come on, do you want to die of pneumonia?"

"Well if I did it would be your fault," I said as we walked indoors. "And Charlie would kill you for killing his only daughter." I laughed.

"Well he can't kill me if I'm already dead because you would have already killed me of pneumonia because I had to dive in after you."

"Fine," I said sticking my tongue out at him and running inside again to the others.

"Well where were you?" Alice said turning to raise an eyebrow at me but that soon turned into a screech when she saw what happened to my outfit. "BELLA! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PRECIOUS OUTFIT?"

"It was him," I hastily pointed at Edward who gave me a death glare.

"It wasn't enough for you to plaster it with cake you had to get it wet too! I'll kill you Edward!" I could see Sahaj and Roslyn looking amused at Alice having a rant. She barely ever lost her cool.

"RUN!" I said to Edward before heading upstairs to shower.


	14. Playing My Lullaby and Sharing Tales

**Chapter 14: Playing My lullaby and Sharing Tales**

I caught a glimpse of Edward dashing for his life while I ascended the stairs to the very top the house, where Alice and Edward's rooms were. I silently cursed with every step I took more water shook off me and onto the carpet. I dashed across Alice 's room not wanting to ruin her lush velvet carpet. Once I was in her bathroom I quickly stripped down and threw the caked wet clothes aside stepped into her hot shower. It was such a relief being in warm water after being thrown into a pool of freezing water. The shower cleared my mind and made me think about other issues. Such as why I couldn't tell Edward I loved him. I didn't get why I couldn't say it to his face but I could say it perfectly in my head. I pushed some more daunting thoughts of my head, such as what Alice would think when she found about my singing, what Edward would say or do when he found that I had kept secrets from him. I wondered what Esme and Carlisle would think, would they be proud of me because of my talent or would they be disappointed in me because their daughter had kept such a secret from them. What would they think if they found about my love for Edward? Would they be happy or not?

"God," I muttered to myself. No wonder I usually have restless nights, I stay up worrying for what will come the next day. Maybe I should just live each day to the full and worry about tomorrow when it comes. That reminded me of one of my favorite quotes: '_Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why it's called the present'. _That quote always makes me smile and it didn't disappoint. After drying myself off, I walked into Alice 's room wrapped in a towel and a towel wrapped around my hair. I found that Alice had been usual helpful self and put my duffle bag with all my stuff on her bed for me to find. _Must remember to thank Alice for being her, _I thought making a quick mental note of it.

I quickly threw on the short navy blue and white striped shorts on, and the matching tank- plain white with navy blue straps. I threw the used towels in her laundry basket and quickly dried my hair. After applying some light make-up on- only in the fear that Alice would kill me as well if I didn't- I put on some slippers and walked out.

As I was about to walk past Edward's room to go downstairs and witness Edward's fate, when I noticed that the door was left ajar from when Alice and I had been up here. Through the slightly open door, I saw Edward's piano and I had a sudden idea. I looked cautiously around me before entering. _Alice__ is too busy chasing Edward and he is too busy getting killed so I won't get caught._ I gingerly walked inside and sat on his piano bench, facing the clear glass windows on the far side of the room. I lightly ran my fingers along the keys, marveling at the beauty of this magnificent instrument. I only had a keyboard in my studio because I could fit a grand piano in so I had never played on a grand piano before. I hit middle C softly and the note echoed around the room. I arose from the bench to go find the piece that Alice had shown me. As I did so I had the opportunity to look around his room properly. I hadn't been here much, aside from earlier and the time Edward had to carry me up here. I walked to his bed and sat down, running my hand across his soft sheets. I leaned down and took a quick sniff. Y_es, they even smelled of him too. _As I was about to resume my search for '_Bella's Lullaby_', something on his bedside table caught my eye. It was a photo. My heart was thundering as I picked it up. _No it couldn't be, he couldn't still have it. _Tears of happiness slid down my cheeks and I wiped them away smiling. It was a photo of Edward and I, as kids, when I had made him give me a piggyback ride. It was one of our oldest memories together so I was really touched that he still cherished as much as I did. It gave my elated happiness that the photo meant to him as much as it did to me.

I quickly put the photo in its original place making sure it didn't look like it had been picked up. I stood happily and walked over to his music rack. _Typical Edward, _I shook my head after looking at his music collection. He had had this craze for collecting all sorts of different CDs ever since I knew him. He had to have about a million CDs in his music rack, which took one whole wall of his room. They were arranged by genre, year and artist. He had everything in here, from classical to rock, from Debussy to Beiber and even Lil Wayne.

After a whole tour of his room I finally found the stack of sheet music. I looked at all the unfinished pieces and wondered why he hadn't finished them. I was sure that all of the pieces were as beautiful as him. Edward had a real talent- it was too bad he gave up. As I stood there, filing through his music I made a vow to myself to find out why Edward had quit music and I made it my mission to make sure he resumed his wonderful gift. After finding the piece named '_Bella's Lullaby_'(which I still couldn't figure out why it was named after me), I sat again on the piano bench, placing the music on the stand.

I began to play the wonderful lullaby which I had only heard hummed, not actually on the piano. As soon as the first note was played, I was captivated and I couldn't stop playing. I felt like the lullaby was telling a story, it was urging me to continue playing. So I did. And I didn't stop until the lullaby came to an abrupt halt. The music on the sheet ended but I had this feeling that the lullaby wasn't finished yet, as if the story it was telling me wasn't finished yet.

"Whoa," I heard a voice say behind me.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head, my breathing halted and my heart sped faster than a hummingbird's wings. I choked up as I turned prepared to make some excuse for what I was doing while my mind was running blank and I was trying desperately to think of an excuse. I didn't know who I'd rather it was at the door. If someone had to find out I didn't know who I would prefer it to be. I guess everyone was just important to me but a tiny part of me was glad that someone had caught me. So I wouldn't have to live a lie anymore.

"Oh God," I sighed in relief when I saw who was at the door. "Don't scare me like that."

"Well, you're lucky that it was me here and not someone else," Sahaj smirked.

"Well, I still had a heart attack."

"Yeah, I saw. Your face was hilarious. You looked like you'd just been caught cheating on someone. You were completely ready to say, 'It's not what it looks like!'" She doubled over in laughter.

"It's not funny! I nearly had a stroke!"

"You're really fortunate that I offered to come and check up on you when Lover Boy got anxious about your whereabouts."

"What? Lover Boy? Edward?"

"Of course, who else?" She rolled her eyes.

"For God's sake! He does _not _love me!"

"He does." She sounded so sure.

"When did you turn into Alice ?"

"When she told me about you guys completely ignoring your love for each other," she said putting her hand on her hip. "And I will not stand and watch two people who are meant to be together completely ignore fate."

"Well then stand and watch because he doesn't love me!"

"You two," she said shaking her head. "You're like...Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl!"

"We are not!"

"Yes you so are."

"No! Because Chuck loves Blair."

"Edward loves you!"

"No! Enough, okay?"

"Fine, if you want to deny your love."

"And besides Edward isn't like Chuck, _at all._"

"True but-"

"No 'buts'. Anyways, why did you come up here to check on me? I'm not a child who needs a constant watch over her."

"No, Edward was getting impatient. So I offered to come up and you're lucky that I did."

"I know. I owe you one."

"No actually you owe me more since I'm keeping your whole secret," she said jokingly. "Anyway you didn't tell me you could play the piano?"

"Well, I can but I'm not that good. Edward's way better, he has a gift."

"Did you write that piece?"

"No, he did."

"It's amazing! Can I see it?" she asked reaching across with her hand. I knew that this was a nonchalant gesture and there was nothing behind her asking for the sheet music but I knew what would happen if I handed it over.

"Oh my god," she said as soon as she saw the name of the piece after I handed it over.

"Maybe he knows another Bella?" I tried.

"Bella! _How _can you deny his love for you after this?" she bolted up right making her point.

"Okay no, I already had this discussion with Alice ."

"Fine, deny it Bella, but don't be too late to realize the truth." There was something about the way she said it that made it seem like a prophecy or something.

"Look, Bella," she said, her tone softer. "You should be so very happy with your life."

"What? Why?" I said perplexed.

"Bella, you're missing out on something that is right in front of you. I can't believe you can't see that. You have such a nice life, and you should appreciate it. You don't know how much you will miss it if it's gone." Her tone became sad as she said that, like she was actually talking about her life.

"Wait what? Sahaj what are you talking about? You have such a nice life yourself. You have the perfect boyfriend, friends and fame."

"It didn't use to be like that. My past is very different from what I am now." As she sat there with me telling me about her life, giving me advice, I saw how down-to-earth she was. How _not _like a celebrity she was.

"Okay, I'm confused. Tell me."

"Bella, your best friends are a gift from God. Cherish them. You don't know how many people would kill to be in your position, including me."

"What? No Sahaj, everyone would kill to be in _your _position."

"Bella, you're seeing right past the amazing things in your life. You have the things I wish I had."

"You do, you have Roslyn."

"Yes, she's one person and I love her and everything… but Bella you have a whole group of people who love you so dearly. Bella don't ever let that go. They are the ones who will help you through everything."

"Okay where is this all coming from?"

"Past experiences and the fact that you're being so blind to what is front of you!"

"Okay, I get what you said about the friends thing but Edward does _not _love me and that is the last time I am going to discuss that!"

"Bella, you will regret being so stubborn one day and I don't want to see you hurt. So please open your eyes, before it's too late."

"They are open! And there is nothing to see!"

"I will prove you wrong someday Miss Stubborn, but for now let's go downstairs. Alice is waiting for us."

"Oh God, she's probably going to make us play stuff like 'Truth or Dare'. Seriously. Been there, done that and you do _not _wanna go there!"

"Nah, don't worry," she reassured me. "I think we're just going to watch _Gossip Girl._"

"And that's _way _better," I muttered sarcastically rolling my eyes.

"Yes!" she gasped. "Do _not _insult Gossip Girl. It's the best thing since sliced bread!"

"Okay, okay," I said laughing at her odd comparison to bread. "Let's go." I placed the lullaby on the pile of unfinished sheet music, fixed the sheets on his bed, where Sahaj had sat and tucked the piano bench in to make it look like no one had been here. As we walked downstairs together and into the living room, I saw Rose was home.

"Rose!" I exclaimed and ran to her.

"Bella!" she said equally as excited and we both wrapped our arms around each other. The relationship between Rose and I is special. Alice is my best friend but there is this special bond between Rose and I. We both feel it, but neither of us knows what it is, but we both do know what it means.

"Rose, where did you go? You missed all the _fun_," I said giving Edward- who had miraculously survived and now was also dry and in his pajamas- the 'look'.

"Oh yes I heard you two had fun," she said waggling her eyebrows between us and I blushed.

"Never mind that. Where did you go?" I redirected the conversation into the another path.

" Port Angeles , where else can you find a decent mall around here," she said a twinge of annoyance in her voice. See, Rose didn't really like Forks. She preferred to be traveling around all the time like the Cullen's used to, before they settled in Forks. At the start, she completely resented Forks, refused to go out and just stayed inside. Gradually she warmed to Forks, like she warmed to me. When I first moved to Forks from Arizona , Rose loathed me nearly as much as she hated Forks. I didn't know what it was in me that she found so repulsive that she refused to be around me. Like all things, time heals all and she accepted me into the family and from there we all finally became a huge happy family.

"What did you buy?" I asked since it wasn't like her to go shopping without Alice and I(only because I was dragged).

"Never mind missy," she said tapping my nose. "It's a surprise." She winked.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes, everyone knew how much I hated gifts, but everyone still insisted on buying them for me. I assumed, as we all settled on sofa or on the floor about to watch _Gossip Girl, _that Roslyn and Sahaj had already been introduced to Rose and vice versa. I noticed as we were doing so that Sahaj and Roslyn were already in their pajamas, _when did that happen?_

"No!" Edward groaned. "Do we _have _to watch _Gossip Girl_? I mean come _on_!"

"Well since you plastered Bella with cake _and _nearly gave her pneumonia, this is your punishment." Alice said. I could tell, looking at Edward's cute and frustrated face, that he was _not _happy. I was sitting next to Edward on the floor, with Sahaj and Roslyn on my other side on the floor, while all the couples occupied the sofa or a love seat. Emmett was _really _getting into it. It was one o'clock and I was falling asleep on Edward's shoulder. Somehow his arm had ended up around my waist, when Emmett suddenly had an outburst.

"NO!" he yelled at the TV screen as we were on the season one finale, where Chuck left Blair standing alone after they finally got together. "How can he do that? Does he have no heart?"

"Emmett," I groaned standing up and stretching because everyone was looking and smirking at me at the position Edward and I were in, as Emmett had woken them up. "Shut. Up."

"But how can he just leave her standing there? ON HER OWN?"

"Emmett, it's a show. Get over it."

"Edward," I groaned slapping his shoulder, trying to wake him up.

"Huh? What?" he woke up with a start.

"Give me a piggy-back ride upstairs," I had no idea why I was being so outgoing, it must have been because I was out of my right mind since I was half-asleep.

"Okay, come on," he said groggily, standing up. I hopped on his back and it was a miracle that he got us upstairs half-asleep without killing.

"Goodnight," he said, kissing my forehead and dropping me off in Alice 's room.

"Goodnight," I said hugging him and I went inside into her room and climbed into her bed, but my peace didn't last long since Rose, Roslyn, Sahaj and Alice came running inside, squealing.

"Guys," I groaned. "Keep it down."

"Bella wake up!" Alice said.

"No," I moaned, putting a pillow over my head.

"Bella!" Rose said throwing a pillow at my head.

"God!" I said frustrated and sitting up. "Can't a girl sleep in peace around here?" I threw the pillow back at Rose.

"Okay, good you're up," Alice said jumping up and down.

"Yeah now what do you want?" I said rubbing my eyes. "I want to go back to sleep."

"No, no, no!" Rose dragged me up from the bed and plonked me on Alice 's couch. "You are not going to sleep anytime soon."

"Why not?" I said lying down on the couch and closing my eyes again.

"Okay, I've got an idea." I heard Sahaj's voice in a distance. Suddenly I felt ice water on my face.

"Okay, what the fuck?" I bolted up. "For the second time today I have ice cold water on my face!"

"Sorry," Sahaj said handing me a towel. "It was the only way to get you awake."

"Oh you guys are impossible! Okay I'm up, what do you want?"

"Well this is a sleepover, duh!" Roslyn said, rolling her eyes and looking like the spitting image of Alice . I groaned internally at the things I could only imagine they wanted me to do.

"Well first," Sahaj said looking pointedly at me. "We need to sort this issue about whether Edward loves you or not out."

"There is no issue seriously because HE. DOES. NOT." I said getting really agitated.

"He does," she said smirking.

"URGH!" I said frustrated and throwing a pillow at her sly face.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa… hold up," Roslyn said standing up from her beanbag. _Whoa, beanbag? When did those get here? _"You love Edward?"

"Yes!" Sahaj said whacking Roslyn on the arm with a cushion. "That's what I've been trying to tell you for the past millennium!"

"OH!" The ultimate look of realization crossed her face.

"No shit Sherlock," Sahaj muttered and I burst out laughing when Roslyn grabbed a pillow launched it at her face. My laughter was cut short when a pillow was launched at _my _face.

"Hey!" I exclaimed while grabbing the nearest pillow and throwing it in the direction the other cushion came from. Soon, it turned into a full-fledge pillow fight. I always despised sleepovers but I didn't know how much fun it could be, if I actually made an effort to include myself instead of sitting around and sulking, ruining everyone else's fun too.

When we finally settled down, panting and breathing hard, I wondered if Edward was asleep. If he wasn't what was he thinking? If he was, what was he dreaming? I sounded like a stalker but I so desperately wanted to get inside his head and know what he was thinking all the time and find the answer to the biggest question.

"Bella! BELLA!" I heard someone say.

"Huh? Yeah?" I said dazed.

"She must have zoned off again," I saw Alice 's face come into focus. "She does this a lot but she never admits that her daydreams are about Edward."

"Okay fine! I was thinking about him! Happy?" I said my whole flushed with the darkest red.

"Aw she's blushing!" Rose said teasingly pinching my cheek.

"Hey!" I said swatting her off.

"Okay so you love Edward?" Roslyn said grinning.

"Guys!" I said annoyed. "Yes but could you keep it down, his room is right there!" I jerked my head towards the wall adjoining to Edward's room and I silently prayed that he was asleep.

"Okay sorry," Roslyn said dropping her voice down to a whisper. "He obviously loves you, why don't you tell him?"

"How do you know he loves me?"

"Oh, come _on_! Anyone can see that. The way he looks at you, the way his eye light up when he talks about you!"

"Doesn't mean he loves me," I muttered, bowing my head to hide my stupid blush.

"Aw Bells," Rose said wrapping her arms around me. "He so loves you, you can't ignore that."

"But okay if he does, why doesn't he tell me?"

"Because he probably feels the way you do. Scared that you don't love him back."

"But it's so obvious I love him."

"Exactly and it's so obvious he loves you. You two are so blind and oblivious," Rose said rolling her eyes.

"I know!" Sahaj burst out. "It's torture watching them!"

"Okay so now we've established he loves you and you love him, I just want to apologize," Roslyn said.

"We haven't established anything and what for?"

"Well, I didn't know that you loved him so he was on my radar and I might have flirted with him," she said winking and laughing. "But don't worry he didn't flirt back!" She said reassuring me.

"Yeah, that's okay," I said smiling, but I was secretly so relieved that he didn't flirt back.

"Okay enough about me and Edward. What about you and Rob, Sahaj?" I said waggling my eyebrows and for the first time, I swear I saw her blush.

"Go on tell them," Roslyn said nudging Sahaj. "It's so romantic!" Roslyn gushed.

"Well, we met when we both went to the premiere of 'The Hangover' and that was one of the only times Kristen wasn't with him. We ended up sitting next to each other, and we started talking and became good friends but Rob was seeing Kristen at the time. As usual the press took pictures of us merely talking. Then the next day our encounter had been blown up into a full-fledged affair. We ignored it and talked and texted each other, but this made Kristen really mad and Rob stopped all contact with me, which really hurt because I liked him a lot. Only later did I learn that Kristen had literally ordered him not to talk to me because she was so protective. We saw each other sometimes at premieres and it was so awkward because Kristen was always his date and it broke my heart every time I saw her with him. Not long after, I realized that I loved him. I really loved him.

"So I stopped going to movie premieres, stopped making public appearances because I got really depressed. It's because I'm bipolar that it causes me to have rapid mood swings but it would have been worse if Roslyn weren't there to look after me. I even stopped doing concerts. I was forced to do a charity concert because my manager said otherwise he would have no choice other than to fire me. So I dragged my depressed ass to O2 Arena in London where it was being held and it was just my luck that Rob was hosting the concert. I avoided him for the whole thing and when I sang 'Teardrops on my Guitar' I actually cried on stage because I wrote it about him. I ran off stage as soon as it ended, but not before I saw him gawking at me. I only found out later that he was gawking at me because Roslyn had told him that the song was about him. At the end when he was about to wrap up the concert he did something completely unexpected.

"He told the audience that he wasn't dating Kristen anymore because he loved someone else and walked off stage. I had been watching from backstage and I was in shock but also knew that the girl couldn't be me. So you can image my utter elation when he walked up to me, told me he loved me and kissed me in front of all the crew and audience because the cameras had been brought backstage to show our kiss."

"Aw!" I was the first one to speak since we are all awestruck at her story. "That's so cute! Where is he now?" I asked hugging her.

"Doing 'Remember Me'," she frowned. I heard about that movie. "But I can't wait to see him, he's coming here next week!" she grinned, her face lighting up.

"Aw that's nice," I said.

"And you know what I learned Bella?"

"What?"

"See how I didn't think Rob loved me? He did. Anything is possible. Edward loves you."

"Yeah, yeah," I said dismissively.

"What about you guys?" she asked Alice and Rosalie after rolling her eyes at me.

"Well," Rosalie was the first one to speak. "As you know we were all adopted by Carlisle and Esme and they raised us like their own children. Well I was adopted when I was 6 and Edward, who was adopted at 5, and we grew up together. Emmett came into the scene when I was 10 and as soon as I saw him, I knew I was in love. And it's only gotten better since then." Rose said with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Aw," Sahaj and Roslyn sighed together.

" Alice ?" Roslyn prompted and I looked at Alice expectantly. Jasper and Alice 's story was such a sweet one.

"Well Jasper and I were both left at an orphanage when we were born and we grew up together as best friends. We both helped each other when either one of us felt lonely, or had any trouble. We practically raised each other. When Carlisle and Esme adopted us, at 11, we were already in love."

I smiled as Roslyn and Sahaj awed at her story. Alice and Jasper usually kept to themselves but their relationship was concrete. It was amazing how Alice, who was outgoing, loud and hyper all the time, and Jasper, who was quiet, shy and reserved, fit together. They complete each other and watching them made you feel like anything was possible.

"Roslyn?" Rose said.

"Meh," was her response. "I don't really date but I do have my eyes set of tall, dark and yummy from New Moon." she said winking.

"Taylor Lautner, eh?" I guessed.

"Yup," she laughed and we all continued into a surprisingly enjoyable night filled with more pillow fights, sharing secrets and doing each other's hair and make-up (which I still despised, but went along with anyway).


	15. Nurse Eddie and Exposed Secrets

**Chapter 15: Nurse Eddie and Exposed Secrets**

**EPOV  
**  
I woke up after the strangest dream I had ever had, and the freaky part was, that it was so real. I almost didn't realize that it was a dream, not reality. In the dream, Bella and the girls were in the room next to mine(which they are in reality as well since they were in Alice 's room last night) and they were having a mushy gossip session in which everyone was admitting to who they were in love with. Then I heard Bella's melodious voice reveal she was in love with me. I spent ages just sitting in my bed, wondering if that was a dream but I knew that I could never have such good fortune.

I dragged myself out of bed, feeling suddenly very depressed. I swear my life could never be normal and I could never feel neutral. It was always utter joy when I was with Bella or rock bottom depression when I wasn't with her. I was clueless on what to do. Nothing seemed to mend my heart.

I tried to ignore her and pretend to hate her but that didn't work, I didn't have that strong a willpower. Being close to her, sure it makes me happy, but it doesn't fix the huge gaping whole in my heart, which was reserved for her. Underneath my tough exterior there was just a guy who wanted to be loved as much as he could love. I had a good pure heart, full of love; I just needed somebody to give it to. I hopped in the shower after turning my bathroom radio on, and I heard 'Hero' blaring through the speakers and I sang along, realizing it fit perfectly into my situation.

_I'm no superman  
I can't take your hand  
And fly you anywhere  
You wanna go_

_I can't read your mind  
Like a billboard sign  
And tell you everything  
You wanna hear but_

_I'll be your hero_

_I, I can be everything you need  
If you're the one for me  
Like gravity I'll be unstoppable_

_I, yeah I believe in destiny  
I may be an ordinary guy  
With heart and soul  
But if you're the one for me  
I'll be your hero  
_  
Whoever said that listening to a song which really applies to you, makes you feel better, was completely right. I shaved while listening to the radio and sang along. I combed my hand through my untamable hair before heading downstairs to grab some breakfast. I noticed as I walked with my breakfast to the dining table that everyone was there already, except Bella.

"Morning," I said and they all muttered back various 'Good Morning's, being half asleep except for Alice who said,

"GOOD MORNING EDWARD," bouncing up and down. How the hell is that girl always so happy and joyous?

" Alice ," I groaned, rubbing my eyes, "Are you on Speed or something?"

"No!" she said, feigning being offended. "I just have a lot of energy!" I rolled my eyes at her remembering what I was going to ask.

"Where's Bella?" I asked trying to be indifferent.

"Oh, well I tried to wake her up, but she wouldn't. I think she's ill," Alice said scrunching her eyebrows together.

"WHAT?" I nearly yelled, freaking out. Bella was ill and Alice was sitting there acting completely normal about it?

"Dude, chill," Sahaj said, laughing, how could she be laughing at a situation like this? Why were they downstairs? They should still be upstairs looking after Bella. Which reminded me, what was I still doing there? I was about to bolt upstairs when Sahaj spoke again. "She's fine, she's just really tired." This didn't comfort me, what-so-ever, because Bella still wasn't here, in front my eyes which unsettled me.

"Okay," I allowed. "I'm just gonna go check on her." As I ran upstairs, three stairs at a time, I caught sight of nearly everyone rolling their eyes at me, at the same time, creepy. A horrible sight beheld me as I burst through Alice 's bedroom door. Bella was lying in her sleeping bag, literally coughing her guts out.

"Bella!" I said rushing to her side. "Here." I grabbed the water bottle from Alice 's coffee table and handed it to her, while I put my hand at the back of her neck, helping her up. She coughed and spluttered as she drank the water but managed to down it.

"Are you okay?" I said alarmed.

"Do I look okay Edward?" she said quietly, as if every word hurt her. She went straight back into a coughing fit after she finished her remark. She never failed to amaze me, even when she was ill; her crude sense of humor was still there.

"No," I admitted, looking sheepishly at her as I rubbed her back, trying to ease her coughing. How had no-one realized that Bella was ill? They had tricked me to mock me but she actually was ill. I made a mental note to kill Alice , although that would probably be quite impossible since no-one can kill those cute puppy-dog eyes she gives you.

"Wait here," I said after feeling her forehead, which was burning up.

"Well I can't exactly move can I?" she croaked as I ran downstairs to find our cough syrup and paracetamol.

"Satisfied Eddie-boy?" Emmett said.

"Are you at ease now that you know she's okay lover boy?" Sahaj said. I was so absorbed in Bella that, at the time, I didn't even notice her new nickname for me.

"She's not okay," I said gritting my teeth and making sure they saw how pissed off I was with every single one of them. They couldn't even look after Bella for one night? _Whoa, whoa slow down. It's not like you look after her every night,_ a voice said in my head.

Shut up, I retaliated.

_Listen to yourself, you're telling yourself to shut up. I can't shut up because I am you. You're making me talk,_the voice said.

I don't care, just shut up. I have people to be pissed at, I remarked.

"What?" Alice shot up from the couch.

"Yeah," I said bluntly and carried on my way to the medicine cabinet.

**BPOV**

I collapsed onto my sleeping bed right after Edward left. My head was pounding and my throat was sore beyond belief. It hurt to even breathe. I was still in shock from Edward's reaction to my poor condition. I was about to drift off to sleep with Edward's face swimming in my head when the door burst open again.

"Edward?" I forced out in a tiny voice, not even bothering to open my eyes.

"Bella!" a very hyper worried voice was heard.

" Alice ?" I managed to lean up on my elbows, coughing as I did so.

"Bella!" now she sounded angry. God help me.

"Why didn't you tell me you were ill?" she fumed.

"Sorry," I said bleakly. "I didn't want you to worry."

"You didn't want me to-" she stopped mid-sentence and pointed to my exhausted form. "Bella look at yourself! At least Edward had the sense to tell us. My best friend is ill and I'm not going to just sit here and watch you cough your intestines out!" Not long after she finished everyone else entered the room, except Edward. They all rushed forward and offered their condolences except Emmett who just punched me and told me 'to get better so could he watch me fall over already' which earned him a stern glare from Rosalie. I nearly screamed at all the attention.

"See," I croaked giving Alice a look. "This is why I didn't tell you." I gestured to everyone making a fuss over me. "You know I don't like being the centre of attention!"

"You're right." she allowed. "BACK UP EVERYONE!" she ordered, making everyone step two meters away from me. "Better now?" she said smiling at me.

" Alice I said I didn't want attention, not to place a restraining order on everyone." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't worry your little sick ass," she said smirking at me. "It hasn't been placed on Edward." As she said this, I'm pretty sure I blushed various shades of red, which was quite a feat considering that being ill had made me very pale.

" Alice ," I pleaded with her to leave, trying to give her the feel-sorry-for-me eyes.

"Okay, okay," she said. "Let's go and leave the lovebirds alone." The fact that everyone was still under the delusion that Edward loved me, almost made me laugh.

After everyone had filed out, each saying goodbye to me and telling me to get better, Alice walked slowly towards me. She stroked my hair and felt my burning forehead.

"Maybe this is good," she said.

"What is?" I groaned.

"Edward looking after you," she mused. "Maybe this way you'll realize that he really does love you," she said absent-mindedly. She didn't give me the chance to reply as she swiftly placed a peck on my forehead and glided out of room. A second later, she popped her head back into the door.

"Oh and Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Have fun," she winked at me and walked out, leaving me there embarrassed and flustered.

**EPOV**

I grabbed the cough syrup and strips soaked in ice cold water to bring her fever down, along with some paracetamol and headed upstairs. I saw that everyone was having a game of Truth or Dare as I walked past the living room. At least they had the decency to leave her alone since the thing that Bella hated even more than walking in high heels or dressing up was being fussed over.

I noticed that she had passed out again as I entered the room. I took a minute to stand in awe of her, just staring. How beautiful she was, the way that her eyebrows mashed together as she slept and the way that her lower lip jutted out. I could have stood there forever just admiring her if I hadn't remembered her condition. I unzipped her sleeping bag to expose her sleeping form, which was clothed in nothing but a very low cutting top which showed her belly button and very short shorts. I swallowed as I put one of her arms around my neck and I put one of my arms under her legs, lifting her up, bridal style and moving her to Alice 's bed. I lifted up the duvet with my unoccupied arm and lay her on the bed, wrapping her in the duvet.

"Bella," I said softly, lightly shaking her awake.

"Hmm?" she said waking up, disorientated.

"Just have your medicine and you can go back to sleep."

"Okay," I could tell by the tone of her voice that she had no idea what I was going on about and just wanted to get back to sleep. I poured out the cough syrup in the spoon and put it to her lips, while my other hand was supporting the back of her neck.

"Bella, drink." I ordered and she quickly swallowed, then did the same with another spoon. She was about to collapse again, but she still needed to take her paracetamol.

"Whoa, whoa not just yet," I said making her sit up again. "Here." I handed her the tablets and after quickly downing them, she fell back against the bed. I tucked her in, making sure she was warm and leaned in slowly and kissing her burning forehead. I sat next to her and got to work on bringing her fever down. I took one of the ice cold strips and placed them on her forehead. I held it there and when it went warm, I replaced it with another one. I repeated this cycle with all the strips. I was on the last strip when I heard a figure walking into the room. I knew it a girl because I could hear heels clicking on the floor as she walked towards me. My hand was pressed on the strip on her forehead as I turned to look at Bella's visitor.

"Mom!" I said surprised. I gave her a one-armed hug as she came close to Bella's bed since I didn't want to leave Bella's side.

`"Hey sweetie," she said softly stroking her hair, then sitting down next to me, feeling Bella's cheeks.

"I thought you and Dad weren't coming back from Vancouver until next week!" I said pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah, I missed you guys too much so we decided to come back early," she smiled warmly at me.

"You two look really cute together you know," she said, taking over my job to hold the strip to her forehead.

"What? Mom, not you too!"

"No, Edward, you know I'm never wrong about these kind of things."

"Well Alice usually isn't but this is the exception. Bella can't love me, she's too good for me!"

"Honey," she said placing a hand on my knee. "I know I've raised you to be modest but don't put yourself down like that. You and Bella are perfect for each other. You both care for each other so much, and everyone but you two can see how much you two love each other."

"But Mom, the thought of Bella and I being together sounds so far-fetched and something out of a fiction romance novel."

"Don't worry sweetie." she said rubbing my shoulder. "If you two are meant to be, you will be. Without us telling you to believe each other's love." She, then stood and proceeded to kiss Bella on her cheek.

"Esme?" Bella said sleepily, waking abruptly.

"Yes sweetie," Mom comforted her. "Go back to sleep sweetie." Bella then, amazingly, fell asleep again.

"Don't worry," Mom assured me once again, ruffling my hair. "Everything will be fine." With that she left the room, leaving me sitting by Bella's bedside.

After a long time of just staring at her sleeping, I was interrupted by my stomach growling. I looked at time and I found it was already way past noon . I took a last look at Bella before making my way downstairs to satisfy my stomach.

"Hey Dad." I said, catching sight of him sitting in an armchair in the living room. I assumed that Sahaj and Roslyn had already been introduced to Dad.

"Is she okay?" Alice said rushing forward.

"Yeah, she's fine. I gave her cough syrup, some paracetamol and I brought her fever down."

"That's good." Alice sighed, relaxing.

"Aw look at love-struck Nurse Eddie," Emmett laughed. A string of profanities was about to leave my mouth when I realized that Dad was in the room and he was very strict about the language we used, around him anyway. So I settled for "Shut up Emmett," while gritting my teeth. I ignored him as he tried to say something else and walked to the kitchen. I quickly toasted some bread and spread it with butter. I literally stuffed it down my throat and downed it with orange juice, anxious to see Bella again. I ran up the stairs full speed and was relieved to enter Alice 's room and see Bella fast asleep. So I decided to take a detour to my room and do something which I hadn't done in a long time, while she slept.

I entered my room and shut the door softly behind me. Before I sat down on the piano bench, I pulled out some of my compositions. Lately I had taken to writing lyrics to them so they turned into songs. I dug out one I had written for Bella, called 'You Smile', and began playing it on the piano, while singing along softly:

_Baby take my open heart and all it offers  
Cause this is as unconditional as it'll ever get  
You ain't seen nothing yet  
I won't ever hesitate to give you more  
Cause baby  
You smile I smile  
You smile I smile  
Hey, hey, hey  
You smile I smile  
I smile I smile I smile  
You smile I smile  
Make me smile baby_

I played around with old pieces that I had written, remixing them, experimenting, to see what sounded good. I even started lyrics to Esme's favorite piece. I caught sight of the light dimming and realized Bella was probably going to wake up soon, so I wrapped everything up and put the songs back into the bookshelf. As I was putting the piano cover on, I realized that Bella hadn't eaten the whole day and when she woke up, she would be hungry, very hungry.

I quickly ran downstairs and asked Esme to whip up something for Bella. Then I sat in the living room, where the girls were sitting in a corner gossiping and Jasper and Emmett were playing Call of Duty. Go Figure.

"Is this all you guys have been doing all day?" I asked sitting on the couch watching Jazz and Emmett.

"Pretty much, yeah." Rose answered. "Jazz and Emmett spent the whole day watching football and playing their stupid video games. We didn't want to go out shopping because we'd feel bad since Bella wouldn't be with us."

"Trust me," I said. "I don't think Bella would mind if you guys went shopping without her." Rose gave me a look and turned away and carried on chatting to Roslyn.

"You know," Sahaj started. "I think it's really sweet. The way you love her so much. You two are meant to he, mark my words."

"Well I've been told," I said bluntly, tired of people giving me false condolences. "Bye," I said decided on going to see if Mom was done with Bella's dinner yet.

"Bye," everyone replied, all distracted with whatever they were doing.

"Mom, you done?" I asked walking into the kitchen.

"Yes sweetie, here." She handed me a tray with a big bowl of soup on it and a couple of breadsticks on the side.

"Do you want something honey? You didn't come down for dinner."

"No Mom, it's fine, I'm not hungry," I said starting to leave.

"Are you sure dear?" she called.

"_Yes_, Mom." I said laughing.

"Okay, okay," she said. "Now get back to Bella."

"I'm going, I'm going!" I said before carefully climbing the stairs with her tray of dinner in my hands. I set the tray down on the bedside table and shook Bella awake as she was tossing and turning and murmuring,

"No, Edward! No!"

**BPOV**

_Edward and I were on a plane heading for__New Jersey__. It was a crisp, chilly morning and we were both really tired from our numerous flights over the course of the last week. I slumped against my comfortable First Class seat, which Edward insisted we get, even though they weren't helping us get over our fatigue at all._ _New Jersey was the next location for my tour, the previous concert venues included the__Times Square__and the Madison Gardens . Edward offered to accompany me for my tour, for which I was very grateful._

_"When's your concert?" Edward asked groggily, waking up from his short nap._

_"Tomorrow I think," I said and I lay my head on his shoulder._

_"I'm proud of you," he said, laying his head on mine. "You have such talent and you deserve to be living your dream." I just sat there staring at him, awestruck._

_"Listen, Bella..." he started, turning his whole body towards me and holding one of my hands in both of his._

_"Yeah?" I squeaked, my breath catching in my throat._

_"I..." I could tell he was having a hard saying whatever he was going to say. "I lo-" he was interrupted by sudden turbulences in the plane. I gripped Edward's hand as an announcement came from the pilot._

_"Ladies and Gentleman, prepare for a crash landing! Prepare for a crash landing!" Soon all the flight attendants were trying to tell everyone to get into the crash-landing position. I looked, panicked, at Edward and squeezed his hand for one last time before getting into the position._

_All in the space of a second, the plane hit hard forest terrain and suddenly a big hole was blown open in the side of the plane near to where we were sitting. The air was filled with smoke, cries and shrieks. I looked over to Edward and horror struck me. He was passed out and blood was gushing from a wound on his head._

_I took the face towel which was on my seat and put it over my mouth to protect myself from the smoke. I desperately tried to undo Edward's seatbelt, all the while trying him to come around. I needed to get him out before the fire ignited the fuel and blew up the whole plane._

_I was bleeding in several places and I couldn't breath but I couldn't care less. After many attempts of getting Edward out of his seat, and all of them failing miserably, I climbed through the fire-encrusted hole myself to go and find help._

_"Help! Help!" I yelled trying to find someone to help me but there was no-one there except for all the people who were struggling out of the plane themselves. "Help," I said weakly. I was about to climb in to the plane again to attempt to get him out when all of a sudden the whole plane blew up in flames._

_"NO! EDWARD! NO!" I screamed and thrashed. "NO!"_

"Bella! Bella wake up!" I heard Edward's voice. I opened my eyes to find him looking down at me with an alarmed look in his eyes.

"Edward!" I croaked, a sand lump forming in my throat and tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. "You're okay!" I said throwing my arms around his neck.

"Yeah I'm fine," he said lifting me on his lap and hugging me to his chest as the waterworks turned on full flow. I gripped his shirt hugging him hard, absorbing in the fact that he was right here with me and hadn't been blown to smithereens.

"Shh, it's okay. Whatever it was, it was just a dream," he said rocking me back and forth. I just buried my face in the crook of his neck and cried it all out. He kept comforting me till my breathing steadied and I calmed down.

"Do you wanna tell me what that was?" he said softly wiping away the remnants of tears from my face. I told him my whole dream except for the part about me being a famous singer. He stayed silent while I told him and just kept rubbing my back.

"It's okay," he said when I had finished. "I'm here with you and I'm okay." I just nodded bleakly. "How are you feeling now?" he asked.

"I feel a lot better," I said honestly and I got up from his lap and started to walk downstairs but I suddenly felt as if all my energy had been drained out of me and I staggered. I was caught by a pair of strong arms before I could do myself any further damage.

"Bella," he chuckled, picking me up and placing me back on the bed. "You may feel better but your body still doesn't have much energy. You need to rest. And drink chicken soup."

"You made chicken soup for me?" I said excited. Chicken soup was my favourite.

"No Mom made it," he answered.

"Esme's back?" I said grinning widely.

"Yeah! She came up to see you a while ago," he said.

"She did?" I said, not remembering anyone ever coming. Edward sat next to me as I slowly sipped at my soup.

"Edward?" I asked after I had finished my soup.

"Yeah?"

"Can I go downstairs? I can't sleep anymore." Truthfully, even with Edward there, it was still quite boring.

"Absolutely not!" he said outraged. "Bella you can barely walk!"

"But I'm really bored!" I whined.

"You wanna watch a film?" he offered grinning.

"Sure," I agreed.

"Kay," he said getting up and leaving the room, he returned a moment later with his shiny new laptop. He climbed into bed with me, put the duvet over him as well and started up his laptop. "Which film do you wanna watch?" he asked showing me his selection.

"The Spy Next Door!" I exclaimed, anything with Jackie Chan was bound to be good.

"The Spy Next Door it is then," he said starting the film. We both watched the film in silence but somehow ended up falling asleep with me sleeping on his chest yet again and his arms around me, his laptop lost somewhere between the covers. I rolled over to expecting to find Edward's sleeping form next to me but all my hands retrieved were a fistful of the sheets.

"Edward?" I called out, worry thick in my voice, still not quite over my dream from yesterday.

"I'm here sunshine," I heard him chuckling from somewhere in the room. I sat up to find him just slipping into a shirt, and his chest was still gleaming with water drops from his shower.

"Morning," I said trying not make the fact, that I was staring at his flawless chest, obvious.

"Morning," he gave me one of his dazzling heart-stopping smiles. "You feeling better?" he said, walking towards me and feeling my forehead. "Well your fever has gone down." he observed.

"Yeah I'm feeling much better. Edward, thanks a lot...for everything." I said reaching up hugging him.

"My pleasure," he said giving me a little squeeze. I took a quick cold shower to wake me up, putting on some shorts and a tank top since it was a nice day, and headed downstairs. I sat in the back garden with everyone, after I had eaten the breakfast Esme made for me. The whole morning and afternoon was spent catching up on what they all did yesterday, which caused everyone to question what Edward and I did while I was ill.

I came back from chatting with Carlisle and Esme to find that Edward was no longer in the garden.

"Hey guys, where's Edward?" I questioned.

"Seriously!" Roslyn sighed exaggeratedly. "You two can't go second without seeing each other!"

"True that," Sahaj added.

"Oh shut up," I said poking my tongue out at her. "Just answer the question someone."

"He went upstairs I think," Rose said.

"Thank you!" I said and a whining sound was heard from Emmett.

"You don't tell her that easily! That's no fun! You have to torture her first!" he said. I simply rolled my eyes at him and walked away. That was the best thing to do around Emmett, it pisses him off so much.

"Hey! Don't walk away from me!" I heard him as I walked upstairs. I reached Edward's room and heard soft piano music through the open door. I knocked on his door tentatively and the music stopped.

"Come in," he said warily and relaxed once he saw it was me. I walked to his bed and sat on it so I was facing him.

"You know Bella?" he spoke.

"Hmm?"

"If you wanted to hear the pieces I wrote, you could have just asked." I sat there dumbstruck, staring at him trying to figure out how he found out that I had been snooping through his music, which he kept hidden between two CDs in his music rack.

"How did you know?" I said slowly.

"Bella how stupid do you think I am?" he said raising a perfect eyebrow at me. "Of course I'd notice if the music wasn't in between the right CDs." I mentally cursed at my stupidity.

"Well in my defense, I was never really good sneaking around."

"Come here," he said chuckling and patting the space next to him on the bench. Once I placed myself next to him, I became very aware of the places where our bodies were touching. The way that my bare arms where touching his and the way that our legs were brushing together.

"This one's for you," he whispered before playing my lullaby. I leaned my head on his shoulder while and stayed perfectly still, mesmerized by him. Time rushed by as he continued playing me various pieces including Esme's favorite.

"Shit," I said as I noticed the time. "I better go. I'll see you in school tomorrow." I said giving him one last hug and ran out of the room.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow morning!" he called as I was halfway down the stairs.

"Okay!" I yelled back and quickly bade everyone goodbye before hopping back in my car, on the way back to my house. I noticed that Charlie's cruiser wasn't there when I pulled up. I found a note on the counter telling me that he was in La Push, visiting Billy. Yeah right, I scoffed. God knows what he does there.

It was only 7 and the sky was quite light so I headed for my back garden with a book. When I stepped outside, I found Jacob sitting on my patio with a sly grin on his face, holding my guitar out to me.

"You have to play for me now," he said grinning and I knew I couldn't escape him so I sat on the patio table and began playing.

**Sahaj POV**

When Bella left I had a sudden epiphany, I knew if it went wrong Bella would hate me forever but I was willing to take the risk. I convinced everyone that it was vitally important that we get to Bella's house right away. Only just telling them that they had to see something.

Once we got there, Edward unlocked the door from a key which he retrieved from under the eave.

"Where's her basement?" I asked them and they all looked completely puzzled.

"There's nothing interesting in her basement," Alice said. "It's just storage space."

"Just show me where it is," I insisted and she led the way down, where we found a door with a keypad next to it. Luckily it was unlocked otherwise we would have been there forever and my whole plan would be ruined. I opened it and led everyone inside, found the light switch and flipped it on.

The whole room came alive, everything lighting up and everyone stood shocked in their places.

"What the...?" Edward started and I explained everything to them, they all listened with shock, which quickly turned to disbelief and hurt. I explained to them the reason why Bella was reluctant to tell them but that didn't help the matter. My heart sank when I realized that I had probably screwed up their friendship. We slowly made our way back upstairs in silence and when we were about to head out, we heard a guitar strumming and a voice beautifully singing along with it.

We made our way to Bella's back garden and found her sitting on her patio table, strumming her guitar and singing, I presumed, a song she wrote. I noticed that a tan, muscular guy was sitting on one of the chairs and I felt Edward tense next to me.  
**  
BPOV**

As I strummed the last bar of 'Tell Me Why', I stood up to see Jacob's eyes go wide at something behind me.

"Jake what...?" I started but my words got stuck in my throat and my eyes went wide myself when I turned to see what Jacob was looking at. Standing in front of me, probably having watched the whole scene, were Edward, Alice , Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Roslyn and Sahaj, with an apologetic look in her eyes.

_Shit._


	16. Hurricane Bella and Broken Glass

**Chapter 16- Hurricane Bella and Broken Glass**

**BPOV**

Time froze and all clear thoughts in my mind flew away. So did the thought of everything being okay. Time continued, Edward finally snapped out of the trance, turned and started to walk away. I stared desperately between Edward and everyone else, deciding what I should do. If I went after him it would look like I only cared about him, and no one else. If I stayed, I risked losing Edward.

"Wait," I pleaded with everyone else and then I ran after Edward. "No! Edward! Wait!"

He carried on walking but suddenly stopped at my front door and turned to face me. His expression was livid but hurt and it crossed his features at regular intervals. He opened and closed his mouth several times, probably deciding what to say to me. Finally he just shook his head and started turning away.

"No! Edward, please wait!" I pleaded grabbing his wrist.

"What?" he demanded his voice a combination of hurt and coldness. "What could you possibly have to say to me?" Didn't think of that one...

"I'm sorry," I said the first thing that came out of my mouth

"For what Bella?" he said his voice dripping with sarcasm, "For lying to me? For hiding all this to for God knows how long! What do you have to be sorry about?" I simply hung my head in shame.

"Bella, I thought our friendship was better than this. I thought we told each other everything, but obviously not." I heard Alice behind me, and her voice sounded close to tears. Jasper hugged her to his chest and looked at me, expressionless. I turned to Emmett, who was looking at me, not only with a hurt expression but also with disappointment. Rose was shaking her head,

"Bella, why?" she asked. Roslyn was just standing there; not knowing what to feel and Sahaj was mouthing 'I'm Sorry' to me.

"I'm sorry," I croaked out, my tears leaking out, the worst that I had ever feared, had just unfolded in front of me, with no warning whatsoever. "I'm sorry," I said collapsing on the floor, no longer able to be coherent. Sahaj was the only one who rushed forward to help me which stung, a lot. She wrapped her arms around me and lifted me up so I could stand.

"Guys, you've got to understand," she started. "She was scared-" She tried to justify my actions but I interrupted her.

"Don't," I muttered to her, wiping my tears away, but to no avail as fresh ones kept falling.

"Whatever the reason," Edward said through his teeth. "It doesn't change the situation. It doesn't change your actions Bella."

"Edward," I pleaded and turned so I could see everyone. "I'm sorry that I hid this from you but I was scared that you would judge me if I told you and also now it was kinda too late to tell you since I knew you would be mad if I told you that I had been hiding it from you for so long."

"How do you think we feel now Bella?" Rose said staring at me, intently, almost if deciding what she should feel. I simply just hung my head for the umpteenth time.

**EPOV**

I almost rushed forward to offer my assistance when she crumpled to the floor. Almost.  
I knew she was trying to justify her actions but it was as if it was just passing over my head. I couldn't comprehend anything she said. All I could think about was her betrayal. Her betrayal to my trust, her betrayal to our friendship, her betrayal to my love. I knew my anger and stubbornness would cause me regret but at the moment I had no rational thought in my brain. All that was there was one word. Why. Why did she do that to me? Why did she do that to all of us? I thought our friendship was concrete solid but it was slowly crumbling.

"Bella," I knew my tone was cruel and was rubbing salt on Bella's wound but my body was on auto-pilot, not taking orders from my brain anymore. "Friendship is like glass, very fragile and easily broken if you're not careful and even if mended you can still see the crack." My hurt slipped into my voice at the end of my sentence and that gave Bella false hope that we were going to get past this. We weren't.

It broke my heart to watch her heart break when she realized that it was over. It was all over. I was in internal conflict on which road to take. Finally, the rational side of my brain started to take over and it made me think. It made me reconsider which road I was taking. Was it the right decision? Was it something that I would regret? Was my pride really more important than my relationship with Bella? I had no answers to all the questions that I was being surrounded with.

There was no doubt that if I chose to leave Bella, we would both suffer. I couldn't speak for everyone else but all I was feeling right bow was pain and betrayal. Betrayal was the main reason for everyone's reluctance to forgive Bella. This secret that Bella kept from us, it also made each of us reconsider our friendship with Bella. Was it really as tightly-knitted as we assumed? Was it partly our fault as well? Did we let our friendship with Bella slowly start getting loose? Did we make her feel that she couldn't tell us something? Were we unwelcoming? All of us knew that it was partly our fault, that's why everyone was staking all their anger out on Bella, to assure themselves that it wasn't their fault. That they hadn't done anything. Come to think of it, who was I to talk? I was doing exactly the same.

Every time the guilt started to seep its way into my system, my arrogance quickly took over, leaving no room for the guilt. Or forgiveness. Or any rational thought if you come to think of it. I was probably giving Bella whiplash with nearly softening then suddenly turning cold again.

"I'm sorry," Bella whispered, completely spent and out of words. "I'm sorry." Watching her break down in front of me was harder, more painful than walking on hot coals. Fresh tears pooled out of her eyes and spread down her rosy cheeks, dripping on her blue blouse.

I felt like crying myself when the realization of my decision sunk into my bones. When I came to terms of what this would mean. All those times we spent, they were for nothing. Did I spend so much time building up mine and Bella's friendship, just to let it get bulldozed because of one simple mistake? Were we taking this too far? Maybe I was over-reacting. This could all be forgiven and we could start all over again. That rift would still be between us though, that betrayal would be there for eternity. It was etched in, and couldn't be erased. Could my love over-power that betrayal? Was it strong enough? Could I look past this? Was I that big a person?

The decision I was taking right now, it meant that I wouldn't get to see Bella whenever my heart desired. I wouldn't get to spend time just staring at her, adoring her presence in my life. As she would no longer be in my life, not so by choice, but because sue was forced out of it. Kicked and thrashed out. I wouldn't get to pick her up in the morning; I wouldn't get to protect her from creeps like Mike and Tyler. I wouldn't get to sit with her; I wouldn't get to talk to her. I would get to do none of the stuff we do now. My life would be a barren land without her. I nearly made me forgive her right there but I remembered what she had done and it ignited fresh anger in me.

**BPOV**

What was I still doing there? I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. I wanted to curl up in a corner and die. Everything life was worth living for was gone. It was all gone. I wanted to beat myself up for being so stupid, I wanted to scold myself for not telling them. Maybe they would have taken it better if I told them myself. There were a lot of "maybe's" and "if's" in my life. It was so ironic how only mere hours ago, I was sitting intimately close to Edward, hearing him play a lullaby which he wrote for me. The same person whose heart he was breaking right now. Did he know how much this was hurting me? Does he have any idea how painful this was?

The pain was beyond feeling, I was completely numb. I couldn't feel anymore. I couldn't live anymore. He was my oxygen and how was I supposed to live with no air? I didn't know what was right, and what was real anymore. I was too overcome by pain and heartbreak. I didn't even know what I was meant to feel, and I feared the amount of time it would take to become clear.

As I gazed at everyone's faces, all I saw was betrayal and anger on their faces. The occasional flicker of hurt was there too. Slowly I realize that it was too late, it was too late to do anything. To fix anything. Trying to reason with them would be like banging my head repeatedly on a wall, willing for it to listen to me. In both cases it would be useless and stupid. I had to just let go, which was something I was very reluctant to do. It's not easy to watch the people you love leave you. It's not easy to live after you know you've hurt them.

I was about to admit defeat in front of them and tell them to go, to just leave me already, get it over and done with, instead of standing there, just mocking me of my loss. I was about to end it right there when Jacob, who had been standing in a corner, unsure of what to do, stepped in.

"You're all over-reacting, it isn't that big a deal," he said stepping slightly in front of me.

"Stay. Out. Of. This." Edward said in seething anger; with a crazy menacingly look in his eyes. "This isn't any of your business."

"Well Bella's my friend and you're unnecessarily hurting her, so yeah, it is my business." Jacob said stepping nose to nose with Edward and it looked like they were about ready to punch each other's insides out.

"Keep your nose out of this Black," Edward said, his hands balling into fists, his knuckles turning white.

"Make me Cullen," Jacob said in a voice equally as menacing as Edward's.

"Guys," Sahaj said, stepping in between them, forcing them apart. "Don't cause a scene." both guys backed away but still looked as if they wanted the other to die a painful death. That was painful for me to watch because they were both one of my best friends. Rather, in Edward's case, was one of my best friends.

**Sahaj POV**

_Shit_, no swear word on the Earth could express the frustration I was feeling right now. It was my whole fault that this was happening. It was because of me that they were questioning their whole friendship. I couldn't even believe the severity of what I had done. I thought I was being smart, and helping Bella. I didn't know I'd screw up her life.

I had only been in their lives for three days and yet I had created a storm in their lives. A storm which destroyed their friendship, their faith. Why did I think that this was such a brilliant plan? That was the thing I hated about myself, I did anything that came to mind before thinking of the consequences.

I didn't think that they would let this get in the way of their friendship. I thought they would be happy for Bella and understand why she did what she did. I thought they would forgive and accept her like Roslyn accepted me. They were being selfish in their actions, they should put themselves into Bella's shoes and then they'd instantly understand everything that she did and forgive her. That was the issue though, their vision was so clouded with anger that they refused to do that.

Aside from that, I was really interested in who this tall, tan guy was. I hadn't seen him at school and Bella nor had the Cullens mentioned him before. It was weird how this guy and Edward hated each other, but both liked Bella, and Bella, presumably liked them both. I wondered what the animosity between them was for. Something major must have happened for them to hate each other with such a passion. Edward nearly hated him with as much passion as he loved Bella.

I made sure the two guys were far apart before I began speaking. "Guys," I said and took a deep breath. "I agree with-" I turned to the tan guy, with a questioning look.

"Jacob," he clarified.

"Right." I said before continuing. "I agree with Jacob. You're over-reacting; it isn't that big a deal as you're making it. Right Roslyn?" I said turning to my best friend for support, in hope that they would all see sense, as Roslyn and I had gotten through this before.

"Urm..." Roslyn hesitated, shifting from foot to foot.

"Roslyn!" I said shocked and a little bit hurt that she would leave when I needed someone to back me up.

"Sahaj," she said carefully. "They're right in their places. I know what they're feeling."

"Roslyn! I can't believe you're siding with them!" I said, outraged that she was choosing now to oppose me.

"I'm not siding with anyone! I'm just saying that they're right!"

"Roslyn stop fueling the fire! I turned to you so we could make them see sense and forgive Bella, but you're just encouraging to do the opposite!"

"I am not! I'm just expressing my opinion. Why am I never allowed to do that?"

"What the hell?"

"Why do you always expect me to follow you? I have my own opinion you know."

"I don't! I was just asking you to side with what's right."

"Well Sahaj, your opinion isn't always right."

"Maybe you're right," I said slowly. "Maybe I was wrong about you." She stayed silent after I said that. I couldn't even believe I said such a venomous thing to her. I was losing Roslyn just like Bella was losing the Cullen's. Just like Bella, I did not see it coming. When did this turn into a fight between me and my best friend. When did I and my best friend start fighting? I turned away from her, making it look it like I was so mad at her that I couldn't even bear to look at her, but in reality I didn't want her to see my tears ready to leak out. Bella saw my action and gave me a sympathetic look, which I was completely surprised to receive as I would have thought that Bella hated me. Why wouldn't Bella hate me for screwing everything up?

"I'm sorry that I ever chose to reveal this," I apologized to everyone. "I'm sorry I broke my promise to you," I said turning to Bella with sorrowful eyes. We were all losing because of my 'brilliant' plan.

"No, don't be. You did what I was too afraid to do," Bella said in a strange, defeated voice. It broke my heart to hear her like that. She was always so cheerful with Edward. "You just sped up the inevitable."

"Bella's right." Jacob added. "Besides, I didn't make such a big deal when I found out. I'm not as selfish as you," he said turning to all the Cullen's.

"Shut up," Edward spat. "You have no right to tell us that we're selfish."

"Are you trying to say I'm selfish?" Jacob started, his temper flaring.

"Maybe I am," Edward said, and I had to stop them killing each other once again.

**EPOV**

If Sahaj hadn't stopped me; I swear I would have murdered that mutt right there and then. How dare he poke his nose into our business and then tell us that we're being selfish? He was obviously the selfish one here, taking advantage of Bella in this situation and turning her against us. I couldn't believe that he was trying to make the fact that Bella didn't tell us our fault. What hurt me most was that Bella has decided to share this side of herself with _him. _Not _us. _She trusted _him _more.

I feared what was going to happen afterwards, was Bella going to stick with him? What was going to happen between Sahaj and Roslyn? Seeing their friendship break down felt the like the ground had slipped from underneath my feet. If a friendship as infinite and strong as theirs could crumble in seconds, no one had any hope.

What were we all still doing there? It was obvious where we stood, so we might as well leave now. I took one last look around her house, where I wouldn't ever be coming again. I took one last look at Bella, who would never be mine.

**BPOV**

I stood still, watching the ordeal between Jake and Edward. I looked at Edward and the reality of what happened pressed down on me. Losing Edward was like losing your identity. You feel lost and frustrated. If I had a second chance, I would never make the same mistake again. There's really no getting over Edward, I've tried it before, and I didn't know what to do. Every time I would see his face, it would break my heart in two. The more I tried, the more I couldn't let go. There's just no getting over Edward. It's mission impossible. I never thought I would be in this position but really in the back of my mind I knew this would happen. I've only got myself to blame, not even Sahaj.

"Well Bella," Edward said, his voice colder than the winter breeze. "If you didn't think we were good enough friends to tell us about this, I guess we're not." With that he was gone. He took everyone and stormed out of the front door, leaving me staring after him with Sahaj and Jake still by my side.

That was it then; I couldn't have ever anticipated how much it would hurt. Imagine the most painful thing that you would have ever experienced and multiply that by ten thousand. Even that couldn't compare to the pain I was feeling. It felt like that everything that I had known in life was lost. All the foundations to my life were suddenly, leaving destruction and rubble behind. The glue that kept me together was gone, I was falling apart. It felt like a graterwas being rubbed against my heart. Why was love a battlefield? It made laugh, it made me cry. It built me up and it broke me down. Soon there would be nothing left; I was merely a hollow corpse now. I had no soul, no feeling.

I didn't know how long I just stood there, being crushed under the weight of my loss. Next thing I knew, Sahaj had left and I was in my room with Jake.

"Bella," Jake said softly, shaking me. I was non-responsive. I forgot everything. How to breathe, how to talk, how to live without him. I felt like I was fading, like a ghost. Unimportant and incomplete. Slowly, I let my feelings take over my body.

Sobs started and racked through my whole body and I felt tears running freely down my face. I let out a wail of heartbreak, followed by many more. I sat there, on Jacob's lap, crying out my loss, while he sat with me, letting me use his shoulder.

"I've lost everything." I croaked after a while, completely cried out, my throat dry and my head pounding. "I have nothing Jacob. Nothing." My voice cracked on the last word and my body shook with grief again.

"No Bella," he said putting his hands either side of my face. "You will always have me."

**Sahaj POV**

I stepped inside the house that Roslyn and I shared, dreading having to face Roslyn after the scene in Bella's house. I was completely ready to fall to my knees apologizing to her because I had already made the utmost mistake today. I didn't need to lose her on top of that. She was my best friend and had been for many years. We had been through a lot together and I thought that our friendship could withstand a petty argument.

"Rozzles?" I called out using my nickname for her. The house was silent, there was no reply. Not even an innuendo to tell me to piss off.

"Roslyn?" I called again but got the same result. Silence. I didn't want to believe it but I knew what this meant. It was the painful truth. I couldn't understand nor believe it. Roslyn wouldn't not come back here unless she was truly resolved on her anger at me. How could she break our friendship for something so petty? Sure sometimes I insulted her and got really moody but she never let it get in the way of our friendship before. She understood the fact and the effects of my bipolarity. That was one of the things I loved about her.

I walked down the hallway, where various pictures of us were hung and I couldn't stop the tears as they came. I slid down the wall, slumping on the floor and I did the first thing I could think of in a situation like this. I dialed the first number on speed dial.

"Hey," I heard his magical voice.

"Hey," I said, my voice shaking.

"What's up baby?" he said, his voice thick with worry.

"I need you," I croaked out.

"I'm coming."

**EPOV**

A thick cloak of silence enveloped all of us as we sat in our living room. Nobody said anything, no being did anything. Roslyn asked if she could spend the night since she didn't want to go home and face Sahaj. We sat there, too shocked and grief stricken for our brains to function. I didn't know what to feel; mad at Bella or furious at myself? Relief or the restlessness that eats you up from the inside.

I looked around the room; there were so many things that reminded me of her. The sofa where I had cornered Bella and covered her with cake. The spot on the lush rug, where she sat next to me while we were playing Truth or Dare. The space between the kitchen and the living room where Bella had run up to me and knocked me down, ending up on top of me. The games on the shelf next to the TV which Bella had given to Emmett and Jasper for Christmas. Thinking about all those times we had made my eyes moisten and that made anger flare in me. The fact that she was making me cry for her. Why did fuck was I so hung up over this girl? She was just a girl, no different than anyone I had ever met before.

Moreover, I felt angry because of all the havoc Bella had caused. The Cullen's weren't the only victims of Hurricane Bella. Sahaj and Roslyn's friendship was one of the casualties. And it was all Bella's fault.

"You guys are back," Mom said, coming into the living room with warm, inviting smile on her face. I felt angry at Bella for what she was about to do to Mom and Dad. It would break their hearts to know what happened tonight. They loved her so much; they could barely handle it when I stopped talking to her before. God knows what would happen if they found out that the whole Cullen family had cut off ties with Bella Swan.

"Where's Bella?" she said frowning once she noticed that Roslyn was there, but Bella wasn't.

"SHE'S GONE!" I exploded, my whole body shaking with fury. "SHE'S FUCKING GONE!" After my outburst, I promptly stomped up the stairs.

"Edward!" I heard Mom call out to me but I ignored it and continued to my room. Once I entered my bedroom I slammed the door loudly and stood in the middle of it. With so much anger, I didn't know what to do with it. How to get it out of my system. I stood there trembling and flexing my knuckles. I grabbed the nearest thing to me, which happened to be a vase which Bella gave me a long time ago, and that just added fuel to the fire inside of me. I sent the vase flying into the glass double doors at the end of the room which overlook the forest, smashing them both. Surprisingly, I found that I felt better, if this was the way I could stop the poison eating me up, then so be it.

I sprinted up to my piano, which had beautiful showpieces on top of it, I swiped them away with one arm, watching, satisfied as they fell. Each and everyone broke apart, piece by piece. In a way they symbolized my heart, breaking apart piece by piece. I spotted a picture of Bella and I, beautifully framed, sitting on my bedside table. Suddenly, in contrast to what I felt yesterday, I completely loathed the picture now. I flung it to the wall and it joined the pool of glass on the floor. I noticed something peculiar when the glass on the photo broke. I bent down and looked at the photo, there was a tear between Bella and I, and I almost smiled at the irony of it. Breaking things became my new high. I frantically searched around the room for things to vent my anger on.

I could bleakly hear the voice at the back of my mind telling me how insane this was but I pushed it away. I didn't care how insane this was, it was stopping me from spontaneously exploding. I was stopping me from breaking down and shedding tears which I hadn't ever shed for anyone before.

In my frenzy, I had destroyed about everything in my room which reminded me even remotely of Bella. So basically I destroyed my whole room. As I turned to survey the damage and my anger cooled down I spotted my music rack and remembered my music, anger surged violently in me again. I attacked the stand, and knocked off all CDs, littering the floor with silver, which caused light to bounce everywhere, mirroring the havoc in my head.

I found my music folder and ripped it open. I never wanted to see those sheets ever again, the one I wrote for Bella. I didn't ever want to think of her again. I collected up all the sheets and put them in a pile on floor. After searching in all my drawers, I finally found matches. I took out a match, lit it and held up to my eyes, watching it flicker.

I was about to drop it onto the sheets, burning them into a pile of ashes, along with my feelings for Bella. Just before I released the match, tiny arms wrapped around me and another pair took the match from my hands.

"Edward, stop it," A voice, full of tears, pleaded with me.

"Edward, stop this madness," A stricter voice ordered. Slowly the faces belonging to the voices came into focus. As I looked into Rose and Alice's terrified eyes, I realized the grave seriousness of what I had done. I felt angry at Bella again because it was her fault that I destroyed everything that my family had lovingly put together for me.

Alice led me to her room, being very wary of the glass on the floor. I would have never been able to forgive myself if she had gotten hurt because of my anger. She sat me down on her bed and knelt in front of me.

"Edward, snap out of it," she said, snapping her fingers in front of my face. When I didn't respond, fresh tears streamed down her face. Bella was causing those tears. Bella was the root of all our problems but we didn't have to worry about that now, the root had been yanked out so it could not trouble us any further.

I would have thought that thinking of Bella would flare my temper again but a new feeling took over when I saw Bella's sleeping bag still on the floor. There was a lump in my throat and it was very hard to swallow. My eyes were stinging and my vision turned watery. I finally stopped fighting the feeling and embraced it. I needed to, if I wanted to get out of this crazy state of mind.

I felt deeply embarrassed by the tears that were sliding down my face and I hid my face in Alice 's shoulder. I hugged her tight to my body and I could feel she was in as much grief as I was right now. I didn't know what the future held for us but I knew one thing, tomorrow was going to be hell.


	17. Bonding and Kickin' Ass

**Chapter 17- Bonding and Kickin' Ass**

**BPOV**

"Urgh," I moaned sitting up and stretching my arms to yawn, to say at the least, I did _not_ have a comfortable night's sleep. I flopped back on the bed and my arm hit something, something hard and warm. I started when I saw a body laying next to me.

"Edward?" I said momentarily forgetting the events of last night, and it wasn't his soft melodious voice that replied; it was a harsh, croaky one.

"No, urgh Bella, Jacob." Jake said crankily, rolling over and falling asleep again. Reality hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt tears well in my eyes. That's right, it wasn't Edward, it was Jacob that was here. Edward hadn't been the one to comfort me, it was Jacob. Edward wasn't here, physically or otherwise. I saw last night's events replay in my head and tears just started again. I was pretty sure I was completely sure but yet again my body surprised me.

Before I knew it, warm arms were enveloping me again. The feeling was familiar; I had been accustomed to it all night. And it felt…good. I felt the pain of Edward's absence subdue a bit, but it was definitely there. Clear and strong in the background. Not forgotten, but just pushed aside.

"Bells," Jacob said crushing me to his chest again. Slowly, as my body shook harder with sobs, I wrapped a limp arm around his torso and lay my head on his chest, relishing in his presence. He was here, he was with me. He was mending me when I was weak and lifeless, most vulnerable.

"It hurts so much, Jake," I slurred out, my tears falling onto his already tearstained shirt.

"I know, shh, I know." The way he said it made me feel as if there was a hidden message in his words but I let it go. I neither had the will nor the strength to question him about it. I was mentally exhausted.

After what felt like a decade, I slowly brought my throbbing head up, mentally preparing myself for today. My gut feeling told me it might even be worse than yesterday; and _that _was a whole load of drama to top.

"Jake you need to go," I said sitting up, stretching and massaging my head.

"What, why?" he started, worried.

"My dad, Jake?" I reminded and he had a knowing look on his face. Charlie would not take kindly to Jake if he came in here and saw him in bed with me. Charlie, being Charlie, would automatically get the wrong message.

"Are you gonna go to school?" he asked getting up and running a hand through his now-short jet black hair.

"Urr," I said running a frustrated hand through my own hair, _shit. _I had completely forgotten that I had school today; I had completely forgotten everything but my grief. "Shit," I uttered my thoughts. I was completely confused as to what I should do.

"Bella, you have to go to," Jacob said in an unyielding tone, sitting down on the bed beside me and making me gaze into his fierce eyes.

"Why?" I said, closing my eyes and throwing my head back, groaning.

"Bella, you have to show _them_," he said, almost spitting the word 'them'. "You have to show them that you're strong, that you don't need them."

"Jacob? What the fuck? I want them to forgive me, not to think that I'm some ego-maniacal bitch!" I said, throwing my arms up for emphasis.

"No Bella, you have to trust me on this one," he said in a soft tone. "If you run after them, you'll just drive them further away. If you let them go, pretend you don't care; slowly they'll realize that none of it was your fault and come back to you. But in that time you have to get over them and be happy; and I, Bella, will be there for you for the whole journey."

"Thanks Jake," I said, truly touched by what he said and grabbed him in a hug. Maybe, just maybe, he was right. Maybe they would be come back to me and complete me. Maybe I could be happy again. _Maybe._

"Bells, I really need to go now, before Charlie gets here and kills me with his big rifle," Jake shivered in mock fear. It put a smile on my face to realize that I still had love. I still had someone who cared for me. I still have someone who loved me.

"Jake, he's not a terrorist, he does not have a rifle," I said laughing.

"Whatever I'm still fucking terrified of that shit," he said winking at me and walking over to my window and opening it, ready to climb out.

"And remember Bella," he said turning his head around and smirking at me. "You are not at fault here; they're just over-reacting."

"Yeah yeah, bye Jake," I said and he gave me a military salute before disappearing out of my window. Suddenly, as he went, it felt as if all the heat and happiness had been sucked out of the room, leaving only crushing grief. I slowly sat down, feeling as if I was about to come apart any second, being buried by my despair. In that instant, the world had become a dark, lonely place. There was no light, no love, no happiness.

I wanted to be anywhere but here, I wanted to be back with the people who complete me. I wanted to be with _him. _I needed to be loved. I couldn't live like this. I couldn't live this empty, meaningless life without them. I might as well be back at square one, where I was before I met them. My life held no purpose before I met them and I was back there again. In that cold, endless void called life. My tears started pouring down my face again then Jacob popped into my mind and I remembered my promise to him.

Even just picturing his face gave me enough strength to push my desolation away; I wiped my tears off and whispered consolations to myself.

"Be strong," I uttered quietly. "It's going to be _okay._" With that, I headed into my bathroom, for a long refreshing shower.

Having a shower, really knocked some sense into me, it made me think about what I wanted to be, where I wanted to be. It made me think about _how _to get there. As I stepped out of my bathroom, I automatically checked my phone for a text from Alice, telling me what to wear-_force of habit. _I sighed and threw my phone back on bed and sat down on it hopelessly.

I never really thought about how much I would miss Alice's pushy nature. It was ironic how I always used to get so pissed by her ordering me around on what to wear but now I wanted nothing more for her to barge in here and boss me around again. I wanted nothing more than for her to just be here.

I crossed my arms across my chest, in an effort to hold myself together, and headed into my closet, clueless. I grabbed the first thing I saw and pulled it on, not caring if it was "high-fashion" enough. I walked over to the mirror to quickly evaluate myself to make sure I was, at the least, presentable.

_Not bad, _I thought. _Alice would be proud. _I was wearing some black skinny jeans with a vest top reading: 'HUG IT OUT' and a grey off-shoulder pullover on top. I just added some white basic flats to my feet and pulled my hair back into a ponytail with my fringe sticking out naturally. Don't want this day to be any more embarrassing than it was going to be.

I slipped my phone into my pocket, grabbed my car keys and headed downstairs. After eating a bowl of Kellogg's, I took a deep breath and stepped outside.

I was half-hoping to see a shiny Volvo at my door and the disappointment almost killed me but I resurfaced, strong. I slowly made my way to my own car; suddenly it felt so foreign to do this. I was so used to riding with Edward, that the concept of being alone was almost terrifying. But I sucked it up and got in.

I gripped the steering wheel and rested my head on it. "Dear God," I muttered before jerking my head off it, pulled my sunglasses out of the glove box and headed to school.

I was sweating the whole way to school and I kept having to wipe my palms on my jeans as my grip on the wheel was slipping. I turned on the radio in an effort to subdue my nerves and turned it up loud. _Really loud. _"Can't Be Tamed" by Miley Cyrus was on the radio and forced myself to sing along to it because I knew it would help. It would help me forget, for a little while. Singing always made me forget. Sometimes that was good, other times…not so good since I lost any sense of time.

I pulled into Forks High School parking lot and as a force of habit again went to park in my usual spot, between Alice and Rosalie. I guess it was no surprise to see that Emmett's jeep was parked there. They had already pushed me out of their lives; they could take my parking space for all I cared.

I sighed and headed to find another spot and ended up parking next to Mike Newton. _Great._

I took a deep breath to calm myself before stepping out of the car, and as I did so, I got hit by the classic Forks wind, blowing my ponytail astray. It felt so out of place to be standing on my own, to not have anyone who cared about me around me. I guess I know now what the stereotypical 'losers' felt like. Lousy and unloved.

It was amazing how much had changed during the last time I had been here. Everyone else around us went about the same way but we were different now. We weren't a "we" anymore. Now it was "I" and "they".

As I turned to grab my bag out of the car, I caught sight of something out of the corner of my eye. The very people I was afraid to run into. The Cullens. I stood frozen staring at them, huddled around Edward's car. They hadn't noticed me yet, they were still busy in conversations together. Edward was saying something Alice and she hugged him tight and whispered in his ear. I saw Edward's head turn towards me and I quickly averted my gaze. I was thankful for my sunglasses otherwise I would have melted as soon as I saw his piercing gaze on me. Among them I saw Roslyn and I wondered what happened between her and Sahaj? Did they make-up? I didn't need to see more best friends broken apart.

Looking at them I felt so excluded and alone. I guess now I knew what it was like to be left out of the "clique". I was glad that my sunglasses hid my eyes otherwise they would have been able to see my red puffy eyes and the bags under my eyes. I wanted to walk over to the so badly, hug them and apologize. Get this silly fight behind us, but I had this dreaded feeling that this fight was not "silly" nor was it going to be over anytime soon.

I could feel all of their gazes' burning through me so I slung my bag over my shoulder and started forward, very self-conscious. I had only walked a mere centimeter when I was interrupted by my worst nightmare next to Lauren and Jessica. Mike Newton.

"Hey Bella," Mike said, falling into step with me. For the first time, I noticed something different about Mike, since I didn't always pay attention to him, as I was too busy obsessing over Edward. Mike had new hair and I knew exactly what it was. It was a fail attempt at Edward's hair, I almost felt sorry for the guy, walking around with that hair. Only Edward could pull off that messy, "just-rolled-out-of-bed", sexy look. On Mike it didn't look any of that, I felt mean for thinking this but it just looked…_silly._

"Hey Mike," I said walking faster, trying to give him the message that I didn't want to talk to him but Mike, being Mike, just kept on trying.

"Err, how was your weekend?" he asked awkwardly scratching his head, looking around.

"Erm, it was fine, yours?" I said politely; I could almost feel Edward's eyes on me as I talked to Mike but I ignored it and continued.

"Good, actually I was wondering if-" He started nervously and I realized what was going to happen. He was going to ask me out again, and I was going to have to make up a lame excuse to refuse him. Didn't he get it that I didn't want to go out with him? I needed an escape and fate didn't disappoint. I saw Sahaj standing next to her car, looking for something or someone and as soon as she saw me she smiled and motioned me over.

"Sorry Mike," I interrupted him. "Gotta go." I said, running towards Sahaj.

"Okay bye," I heard him yell out. "Talk to you later." _Yeah sure, _I thought, internally rolling my eyes.

"Thank God," I said, brushing the hair out of my face and turning towards her. "He pisses me off so much."

"Yeah," she said, her voice sound quite hoarse, same as mine. "He seems like the clingy type."

"You bet."

We started walking towards school in a companionable silence the events of last night lingering between us. Untouched.

"You should take your sunglasses off you know, " she said in a seldom tone. "They look kinda silly in Forks."

"I know but look," I said taking them off, revealing my red and baggy eyes.

"Yeow," she said her eyes bugging out of her head. "You look horrible."

"No shit Sherlock," I said, putting them back, making sure no one could see my eyes again. "I stayed up all night crying, that's bound to happen."

"You stayed up too?" she turned to me and tried to look into my eyes but couldn't because of the mirror-like surface of the sunglasses.

"Yeah, how could I not after what happened last night?" I said looking at her and sighing. "What happened with Roslyn?" I asked a bit scared, I knew this was a touchy subject for her and I didn't want her to go all psycho-Sahaj on me, like I've heard she can.

"Nothing, I mean like I only asked her to support me so we could stop our friends fighting and instead of having my back she just completely turns around and throws it all in my face. And I'm just like 'Well thanks!' Maybe if she did have my back and aggravate them, maybe you guys could've sorted it out so I apologize on her behalf, plus I'm so so sorry because we're all only in this shit because of me trying to be smart." She said looking at me apologetically.

"It's okay, I mean it was bound to happen sooner or later right? So I'm glad it happened it was now, not like ten years from now because that would have landed me in deeper shit. If that's even possible," I said, a smile gracing my face and Sahaj chuckled lightly.

"I honestly didn't think they'd react so badly, I mean they're your best friends they should understand why you did what you did," She said and I could see the anger rising in her eyes. They were no longer inviting and warm like they normally were.

"Chill," I said forcing her down on the nearest bench. I then proceeded to sit down beside her and put my feet up on the bench, wrapping my arms around my knees, hugging them to my chest. "I guess that maybe they were just angry, you know? I mean I would have been if they did that to me." I said trying, and failing, to calm her down.

"I can't believe you're defending them! It's just so unfair on you that they have to act that way when you're this nice and understanding! They're lucky that you're not the one turning your back on them!" She said, outraged.

"I guess but I mean it was kinda my fault so I can't exactly be the one giving them the cold shoulder, can I?" I said trying to reason with her, I mean even if they're upset with me, they're still my best friends and no-one insults them.

"No Bella, seriously they're overreacting! You need to understand that you're the one who's been wronged, not the other way around." She said taking deep breaths. "I mean contrary to what Roslyn is acting like right now, she too understood why I did what I did and she didn't let something that big get in the way of our friendship so I really don't understand why she's suddenly so mad at me," She sighed.

"Do you think she's always had the fact that you it from her like at the back of her mind?" (I don't really understand this sentence – maybe you could re-write it?) I said, speculating the reason why maybe Roslyn was acting so irrationally.

"I don't know, I mean we had always been normal after that, in fact I think we were even closer than before."

"Do you think that she's always held that grudge and it just came out now? Because of my situation? Maybe that's why she's acting so incomprehensibly." I said, looking at the gravel on the ground.

"Maybe you're right, but it still isn't fair that we're being treated like this. But I guess I deserve it since I brought this on myself." She said, hanging her head a bit.

"No, Sahaj! You don't deserve what she's doing to you right now. You're a wonderful person and it's her loss if she doesn't realize that!" I said, pulling her into a hugs and I heard her sniffle a bit, then break into full-out sobs.

"I miss her so much," she said, tears in her voice. I knew that past her tough exterior she was just another girl who loved and wanted to be loved. She was hurt easily but she didn't want to show it.

"I know you do," I said, rubbing her back, feeling my own tears well up but I pushed them away; Sahaj needed me right now. "It'll all be okay."

"I'm s-so sorry B-bella," She said in between sniffs. "This-this, it's all my-my fault." She said, breaking into a fresh torrent of tears after that.

"No, shh, it's not. Don't ever think like that. I don't blame you for anything that happened, you were just trying to help. You were just being a good friend and if they can't accept me for who I am, then maybe they're not true friends." I said astounded at what I said, myself. Maybe this really showed who my true friends were. Maybe I needed to move on from them.

"No!" she said pulling back and gripping shoulders, looking into my eyes intensely. "Don't talk like that; they're just hurt. They'll come through for you. I've seen how much they love you and they won't let something this trivial get in the way of that."

"I hope you're right," I said musing, shaking back to reality. Who was I kidding? I couldn't move on from them, they were my whole life! "Roslyn will come back to you, I promise you that, she loves you way too much to let you go," I said offering her a tissue from my bag. After she had calmed down and composed herself again she asked what happened after she left last night.

"Oh nothing, Jake let me cry on his shoulder and then he comforted me and stayed the night," As I said that, her eyes went wide and I wondered if she had misunderstood what I had said.

"You guys didn't…? Did you?" She said, narrowing her eyes at me.

"We didn't what?" I asked, confused.

"You didn't sleep together did you?" she said, wait was that what she thought?

"No!" I exclaimed. "Not in that sense, no way. No Jake's just a really good friend."

"Are you sure Bella? I mean I've seen the way he looks at you, and it's not the "friendship" look." She said and at that moment, it I just saw how good of an observer she was.

"No he likes someone else." I said reassuring her, but myself mostly. _Atleast I think so. _What would happen if Jake liked me in _that _way? I mean I could never reciprocate his feelings and I would break my heart to break his. This shit would get a whole lot more complicated if he was into me.

"If you say so," she said raising her hands up in surrender.

"What happened when you left my house then?" I asked her, wanting know what she went through.

"Oh," she said, her eyes darkening and turning a solid black from a warm brown. (Maybe you should swap this round: _turning from a warm brown to solid black, _ because at the moment I have to read it twice to understand it)"Well I went home and found that it was empty, so you can imagine how shit I felt right at that moment. She's my best friend and she just suddenly decides to walk out on me. We've had our share of fights before, but not like this one. We actually yell and everything but she always comes back. We have this rule to make up before going to sleep because neither of us can sleep when we're mad at each other. Plus who knows what will happen tomorrow, whether one of us will be alive or not. So when I saw she hadn't come back, I really knew that this shit was serious. Whenever we yell and she gets all her frustration out, she isn't mad at me for long. But this silent, anger is different, more dangerous. When I realized that, I saw all the pictures of us in the house and I just sort of broke down." She flicked away a tear that had appeared in her eye. I reached out my hand and rubbed her shoulder to comfort her.

"When I was crying and in that state of mind and I wasn't really thinking of what I was doing, so I did the first logical thing that came to mind. But now that I think of it, it was probably the stupidest thing ever."

"What did you do?" I said, honestly wondering what could be that bad. Did she self-harm or something? No she wouldn't be that crazy.

"I called Rob and he flew here." She said hanging her head. It took a while for the information to sink in before I reacted.

"You WHAT? Are you telling me you brought Robert fucking Pattinson to Forks?" I said wide-eyed.

"Kinda," she said sheepishly. "I know, I know; it was really stupid."

"Yeah I get that you were hurt and you needed someone, just as I did, but you could have called me! You know what drama him being here could cause?" I said looking around to make sure no-one had heard the news of him being here.

"But you were hurt yourself! And I know, shit, I really shouldn't have asked him to come." She said, the corner of her mouth tilting down.

"Yeah exactly, we could have had a pity-party," I said smiling a bit, causing her to smile too. "So where is he right now?"

"At home."

"At your house?"

"Yes."

"Oh shit, let's hope no-one hears about _Robert Pattinson_ being in Forks!" I hissed at her. The water would go over our heads if anyone, anyone at all, found out about him.

"Oh, Robert Pattinson is in Fork is he?" I heard a sneer, which could only come from the one and only Jessica Stanley.

"Oh God," I murmured as Jess came into sight, followed by her posse, Lauren Mallory. "Shit," I heard Sahaj hiss.

"Piss off Jess," I said, seriously sick of her. What made her think she could just come and hassle me every time she wanted? "I am not in the mood to put up with your shit." I said standing up, nose-to-nose with her and poking her shoulder. After I did that, I went into a mini-shock fest, I couldn't believe that I could do that. I was normally such a nice person. Just another one of the things, this argument is doing to me. It's completely messing me up.

"Excuse me?" Jess said completely shocked as well that I did that. "You did not just do that."

"She just did bitch," Sahaj stood up, backing me up.

"Ooh double burn," I said with a faux smile.

"Aw look who finally grew a back-bone Jess?" Lauren said snickering to Jess.

"Okay look I don't know what your problem is, but you should fuck off and mind your own business." I said, desperately wanting to get rid of them, nothing made me madder than talking to those two.

"Oh I'll tell you what their problem is Bella," Sahaj said resting her elbow on my shoulder, which was quite easy for her since she was easily taller than me. "They're jealous of you."

"Oh please, me jealous of her? She's jealous of me," Jess said and it was enough to make me crack up laughing.

"Oft," I scoffed. "You think I'm jealous of you? Bless you honey, what is there to be jealous?"

"I'm easily the most beautiful girl in this school." She said and Sahaj snorted beside me. Literally _snorted._

"And you've got a brain to match," I said and both Sahaj and I cracked up laughing.

"Okay let's get something straight," Sahaj said. "You want to see the most beautiful girl in the world? Here she is," Sahaj said motioning to me and I really wanted to hug her at that moment to show her how grateful I was of her.

"Please, Bella?" Lauren said, snidely.

"Yeah, she's pretty and she's not an empty shell. That's why Edward's fallen for her. Not you. That's it isn't it? You're jealous of her because Edward loves her." Sahaj said, smiling brightly once she knew she had hook, line and sinker.

"Lol," Lauren said and Sahaj and I exchanged a look that said '_Oh my god she did NOT just say LOL in real life'. _"Edward does not love Bella."

"Well let's see. Does Edward look at you all the time? No. Does Edward sit with you at Lunch? No. Does Edward want to be around you every moment of the day? No," she said counting it off her fingers. I could see on their faces that they really had no comeback whatsoever.

"Come on Lauren, they're not worth it," Jess said, taking Lauren and walking way.

"YES!" Sahaj said while high-fiving me and we both went into a fit of laughter. If I must say so myself, we kicked some ass. In that moment, I felt happy. I felt as if everything was okay. I still have someone who cares. Not all is lost.

"Thanks," I said hugging her.

"No problem," she said. "What are friends for?"

"You know thanks but the whole Edward loving me thing isn't true. Especially after what happened last night." I said as we walked towards the entrance of the school as it was about to start soon.

"Seriously you're still denying it? You have no hope," She said shaking her head and chuckling. "You know I like what you're wearing," she motioning to my attire. "It's quite nice for someone who's heartbroken," she said winking at me and I laughed lightly.

"Same for you but you've fallen short of my expectations," I said looking her up and down. She was wearing short denim shorts with black tights underneath with a hoodie which had an 'Abercrombie' motif on it. Along with it she was wearing some Uggs.

"Oh really? Why is that?" she said teasingly.

"Well normally you're all high-fashion and everything and this"- I said pinching the sleeve of her hoodie-"just won't do." We both shared a good laugh after that before parting our ways to go to class. Once she left me and I was alone, the feeling of dread set back in. Why? Because my first class was Biology with none other than, _the_ Edward Cullen.

**Whoooaaa that took me a while to get that up so sorry guys!**

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**XX**


	18. Esme's Wrath and Sahaj & Roslyn's Saga

**Chapter 18- Esme's Wrath and Sahaj & Roslyn's History**

**EPOV**

I woke feeling at my worst, my throat hurt, my head pounded, my eyes were stinging and I had this terrible feeling of dread like I had just lost something. Oh, wait, I already had.

I groaned as I sat up, stretching and wincing. I had been so tense last night, all my muscled were aching terribly now. I turned my head to see Rosalie asleep next to me, and I did double take. What the fuck was she doing in my room? I turned my head to the other side and saw Alice asleep there. Huh? What were they doing in my room?

As I moved my hand, to sit up further, my hand touched something fluffy. What the hell? Since when did my room have fur cushions? I bolted upright, blinking my eyes rapidly, suddenly more aware of my surroundings. And since when did I have a dressing table with twenty light bulbs around it?

Shit.

This wasn't my room. Suddenly all the events of last night came rushing at me at a 100 miles per hour. My half-asleep couldn't process all this information quick enough. I had hazy memories of last night. There was betrayal, anger and broken glass. Lots and lots of broken glass. I remember Alice bringing me here form my shattered room. I remember tears.

I carefully climbed over Rose to get off the bed; I walked warily to my own room. I dot to the doorway and closed my eyes. Not wanting to see the damage I caused. I couldn't believe how selfishly I had destroyed everything my loved ones had made for me. How I let my anger and hurt consume me. I wished I had a bit of rational thinking left in me. Poor Mom, I even yelled at her last night; and I had never, ever done that. I always treated her with so much respect.

Which reminded of an important fact, did Mom and Dad even know what had happened last night? Were they even aware of why I destroyed my room? Even so, it was no justification whatsoever and I felt absolutely terrible. How could I just forget everything and be so single-mindedly focused on Bella? How could I be so blind? I guess it was that infatuation with Bella that made so blind, that made so attached to her that I couldn't even handle a small betrayal without blowing up.

Yes, I admit, it isn't much a big deal; but it hurt. That's why everyone was treating her like we were. It wasn't because she had committed the biggest sin in the world. It wasn't that big. It was something very small, and it hurt the most. It's like a paper cut. It's small, but it stings more than breaking your leg. We were hurt, betrayed. I wasn't mad at the fact she didn't tell me she could sing. No. I was mad about the fact that she didn't think that there was enough trust between us to tell me. There was subtle difference.

I wondered what Mom and Dad would think once they found out that we all weren't who we were before. This family was never going to be what it was before. Not without Bella. She was the perfect compliment to us, she completed us. She loved Mom and Dad like they were her own, which Mom and Dad both treated like her she was. If an outsider didn't know better, they'd think she was the most loved daughter of this house. Bella was our sister and no matter how much we tried, we would never be able to let go of her.

Mom, especially, would be heartbroken not to be able to see Bella anymore. She loved her like she was her own. Which she practically was. Bella had us all wrapped around her little finger. There was no-one in this house, not even Rosalie, who at first hated Bella, who wasn't missing Bella. Who wasn't pining for her right now? Bella had practically lived in this house; she would be here when her Dad was out of town. She would be here when Alice had parties. Sometimes she would just be here because none of us would let her go home. Mom was the mother Bella never got to have. Renee was eccentric and Bella practically raised her, not the other way around. Bella never got to have her childhood, be carefree, with someone looking out for her. She never got to be dependent on someone; because she never got to be dependent, she never wanted to be dependent. That is, until she met Mom. They instantly clicked, it was like they were mother and daughter separated but now united. They had always shared a close bond. The same with Dad and Bella; and it would break both of their hearts to not see Bella. All because of a little argument. All because of our stubbornness.

I sighed and turned to my room, there was no use thinking these meaningless, depressive thoughts now. She was gone and wasn't coming back.

Shit. I thought for the second time that morning. What the fuck had I done?

Now that my head was cleared I could survey the damage more closely. The conclusion? There was not one thing in my room that hadn't been torn, smashed or wrecked. I sighed thinking how disappointed Mom would be, she put together my room, lovingly. She put together everyone's room. I couldn't believe I did all the those things last night, I mean what was I thinking? No-one else had gotten so carried away with their anger and hurt that they forgot how to be human. No, it was just me and maybe I knew the reason for that. the more you love someone, the more it hurts to let them go; and I loved Bella more than life itself, so to be hurt by her? It hurt more than being pricked with needle over and over again.

I sighed and carefully climbed over the wreckage, walking over to my closet. I quickly grabbed whatever I could and made my way to my bathroom after surviving the obstacle course that was my room. I quickly stripped out of the clothes, which were the same clothes I was wearing yesterday, since I didn't have the chance to change. Jeez, I still had my trainers on and I slept with them! I quickly stepped into the hot shower, hissing as the hot water hit my tense muscles. Relieving them of all the pain. I turned on the radio and, like always, started singing along. 'Kick start' by Example was on and it related to my situation a little. I mean, after this incident, it just made me love Bella even more. Imagining my life without her just made my love for her deepen.

I quickly dressed after my shower and headed to Alice's room to find that Rose and Alice were gone. I assumed that they had both gone for their showers as well. I dreaded going downstairs, I could already smell Mom cooking breakfast. I couldn't bear to explain this situation to her. I couldn't bear to relive the events of last night.

I sucked it up and walked downstairs; I went into the kitchen and greeted my mother.

"Mornin' Mom," I said kissing her cheek like I always did; but this time was different. This time different, she didn't kiss me back. She was indifferent as I kissed her.

"Morning," she said in the coldest tone I had ever heard and walking past me. Whoa, that hurt. Why was Mom acting like that? She was normally so happy and cheerful, then why was she being so cold towards me? What did I do?

I followed her out into the dining room, where she was laying our breakfast. Pancakes and syrup? That's it? Mom normally made a huge breakfast. The rest of my siblings were seated at the table and I took my place next to Emmett, right next to Dad, who was at the head of the table, along with Mom.

The Cullen's had a very systematic way of seating. The head couple of the house (which would be Mom and Dad), sat at the top of the table. Then came the child who came into the family first, which was me and the seat opposite was supposed to be reserved for my partner but whenever Bella was around, she sat there. I had always thought that Mom and Dad were trying to hint something when they placed her there. Then came Rosalie and Emmett, Rosalie next to Bella and Emmett next to me. Then at last Alice and Jasper at the end of the table. It was quite ironic how everyone was in couples and Bella and I were the odd wheels. That didn't matter anymore though, since she wasn't here with us. She wasn't dining with us; and probably never would.

Everyone looked dead at the table; there were no smiles, no laughter, no jokes. There was just the feeling to get this over with. Normally everyone was pleased to dine as a family, laughing and having a good time. But not now. Everyone looked as if they wanted the ground to swallow them whole right there and then.

"What's up with Mom?" I whispered to Emmett.

"We told her," he replied in a fear-filled tone.

"Everything?" I hissed at him.

"Yeah and now she's seriously mad at us." He said turning away and looking anywhere but at Dad.

"No shit Sherlock!" I jeered at him. By the look of things, we were all in deep shit.

After Mom sat down on the table, we all started eating in silence. No one spoke a word, no one even breathed. We all knew how calm Mom normally but everyone had learned not to cross her boundaries, which is a big, big mistake. Everyone ate and cleared up and sat on the couch in the living room, silent again afraid of what Mom's reaction might be.

Finally both Mom and Dad entered the room and Dad sat down while Mom stood up in front of us, looking down at all of us with disappointment in her eyes.

"I cannot believe you guys," she started in an angry tone but we could hear the hurt hidden behind the anger. "I can't believe what you did," she sighed sitting down next to Dad. A tear appeared in her eye and she wiped it away quickly, but not quick enough to escape our notice.

"Mom," I started, knowing she was angry at us for treating Bella so badly, but mostly because she missed Bella. "I'm-" I started but I was cut off by her.

"You're sorry Edward? No, you're not. None of you are!" she said raising her arms for emphasis. "I thought I raised you guys better than to treat someone as badly as that! I can't believe you did that to Bella! Imagine what she must be feeling now! All of you abandoned her!"

"Mom, trust me, none of wanted to leave Bella. None of us wanted to break contact with her. We had to, because of what she did; she hid such a big thing from us," Alice said and I completely agreed with her.

"Did you guys ever think of things from her point of view?" Mom started. "Did you ever think, maybe she was scared to tell you?"

"Mom, if she was afraid to tell her best friends then maybe we weren't as good friends as I thought we were." I said.

"Exactly," Rosalie interjected.

"Guys," Emmett started hesitantly. "Maybe Mom's right. Maybe we were too harsh on her."

"Shut up Emmett!" I had to fight not to lose my temper then. "She told Jacob. Jacob of all people and she was afraid to tell us?"

"Are you sure she told him willingly?" Mom said. "Or did he find out like you guys did? Whichever, it must have been easier for her to confess to him since they weren't as close as you guys are. He wouldn't be mad at her for hiding it for so long."

"Whatever the case, Mom," I said. "It doesn't change the fact that she hid it from us."

"Did you guys ever think that as time went on, she was even more afraid to tell you since you would be madder that she kept it hidden for longer? And she was right. Why are you acting so immature? And here I was thinking that you'd actually grown up."

"Mom, we're just hurt by the fact that she didn't consider close enough to tell us," I said.

"Just stop being childish Edward; all of you. I can't believe Emmett is being the mature one in this situation, take a page out of his book and just go and apologize to her."

"No Mom, we have nothing to be sorry for. She should be the coming to apologize to her. We're not the ones who hid a huge secret from her."

"Yes, but you are the ones who took something little and blew it way out of proportion. I am not losing my daughter because of this petty argument so I suggest you go to school and apologize to her."

"Mom!" Rosalie came forward. "Why are you acting like she's your only child? You have all of us!"

"Rose, I love her like I love all of you and I can't stand to see you all hurting. I can't stand to see my children fighting with each other. It's obvious you're hurting form this too so why don't you throw this childishness and stubbornness out of the window and go make up with her?" She said her tone softening.

"I'm sorry Mom, we can't do that." Rosalie said speaking for all of us and we all nodded. "We can't forgive her."

"If you can't do that, then all of you, never talk to me again," Mom said, tears leaking out of her eyes, Dad following close behind as we stood there shocked thinking 'What the hell just happened?'.

"Come on," I said shaking us all out of our reverie. "We better get to school," I said and they all muttered agreements as we headed out to the garage, taking each of our own respective cars and driving to Forks High to face hell. Great, now not only had I lost my best friend, I had lost my mother too. Just Great.

Once we got there, we all parked in our respective places but there was a problem, Bella's spot was right between Alice and Rose's. We didn't know what to do so Rose made Emmett park his jeep there, much to his reluctance. He was still set on the fact that Mom was right, that we should apologize to Bella. Well he could go kiss her ass because neither of us were going togo up to her, begging for forgiveness.

We all walked over to our usual spot and I voiced all of our worries.

"Guys, what are we going to do?" I said sighing and putting my head in my hands.

"I don't know about Mom, I don't know why she's so set on the fact that we're wronging Bella; I mean she betrayed us, not he other way around so I don't get how she can just blow up at us like that." Rose said with annoyance in her voice which I could completely understand. I don't know what happened to Mom. She always supported us in everything we did. Everything.

"Yeah," I said. "I don't know why Mom's acting like this. She's always supported us in anything and everything that we do."

"That's exactly it guys," Emmett said stepping in. "She's always supported us, don't you think that this tell us something? I agree with her, I think we're being too harsh on her."

"Emmett, you can go kiss ass if you want but we're not giving in; not after what she did." I said firmly.

"Definitely," Rose said glaring at him.

"Edward!" Alice hissed in my ear. "Bella's here! Don't look!" She said she was too late because I had already turned my head and would have met her eyes if it wasn't for the the reflective surface of her sunglasses.

"I told you not to look you doofus!" Alice said smacking my head.

"Ow!" I said rubbing it.

"Why the fuck is she wearing sunglasses?" Rose said in her bitchy tone.

"Rose, please." Emmett interjected. "If we can't make up with her, can we at least not bitch about her?"

"Yeah you're right," Rose said with a defeated sigh. "I'm sorry. I just can't think of what else to do. If we can't make up with Bella, we else can I do but bitch about her?" The expression on her face was so defeated and sad, I though she was going to cry. Alice took Rose and hugged her to her chest, rubbing her back comforting her.

I completely zoned out when I saw Bella again, even when I was mad at her and supposed to be hating her; she still took my breath away. She was stunning even when she wasn't trying; I think I would be knocked down dead if she actually did.

I felt anger boil in my blood when I saw Mike saunter over to her attempting to look cool; and completely failing. He was making attempts to talk to her and even from here I could tell she wasn't interested so why couldn't he, standing so close to her? He was such a clueless loser. You know who would be good together? He and Jessica Stanley, both of them were always chasing someone who was never going to give into them. I felt a massive amount of relief when I saw Bella walk- no practically run away from Mike. Which reminded me, what was going to happen between Roslyn and Sahaj? Would they ever be the same? I felt really bad that it was something because of Bella, something between Bella and us. Nothing between them, that caused this rift between them. Where was Roslyn anyway? She didn't go back to her and Sahaj's house, she didn't come to our house, she just told us that she was going somewhere where could think. I was started to get worried about her, she wasn't even at school now.

After a while of sitting there, moping for our loss and whining about what she should do, we decided to make our way to class. My first class was Biology. With Bella Swan. Kill. Me. Now.

Roslyn POV

I sighed looking out of the window, driving back to Forks. I would have to face it all again, the hurt, the betrayal the sourness between us, I would have to face it all again. I couldn't believe that I kept this pent up anger inside me, without ever telling her how I felt. If I had, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe we could have settled it long ago; maybe we wouldn't have added all this extra drama to Bella and the Cullen's situation.

In fact this could have been sorted out last night, if I wasn't so chicken to go back home. Instead I ran away, but it was okay, I was coming back now and I would make everything okay. I nearly smacked my head on the steering wheel after thinking about how much I would have lost if I hadn't made the right decision to come back. I don't think I could have lived if I lost her, she was everything to me. We went way back, back further than before I was famous. We had been best friends for as long as I could remember and I couldn't believe that I nearly threw it down the gutter for the remainder of the resentment in me.

I wished I hadn't run away last night, I wished that I had stayed and made things right; but in some weird way, I was glad I ran away at the same time. If I stayed near her then, I would have let my anger and resentment overpower me make me do things I would've regretted so running away gave me the chance to clear my head and look at things with a fresh state of mind.

After the Cullen's stormed out following their argument with Bella, I took one last resentful look at Sahaj and stormed out after them. As I was doing so, I got an idea; I was feeling really hurt so I decided that I couldn't even stand to be in the same town as her. I decided to run away. I told the Cullen's that I was just going somewhere I could think and said I would be back soon. In fact I planned to never come back; I planned to fly back to my home in L.A. Before I did that I decided to visit the beach house that my family owned in Clallam Bay. Sahaj and I had many memories there so I decided I would go there to remember and cherish them before I ran away from her. My Dad actually used to work there that's why he bought the beach house for us whenever we visited him. That was one of the reasons Sahaj and I moved to Forks, to be near to the beach house. It was only about a half an hour drive from Forks. I laughed remembering our crazy times there; we used to go there ever since we were twelve. We had spent many crazy summers there.

I pulled up to the beach house, ran up to the attendant and got the keys. I stepped inside gingerly, reveling in the feeling. It had been a long time since I had been here. Heck I hadn't been here since I got famous and that was a heck of a long time ago.

I looked around and almost everything in there reminded me of my best friend. I looked at the living room, in which we had had various slumber parties. We'd sit in the middle of the floor, stuffing our faces with junk food, watching scary movies and painting each other's nails; we also took many retarded pictures together. Then when we got bored at night, we would just run out to the ocean and have a midnight swim. We wouldn't have a quiet swim, not we'd have a full out party on the beach. Stealing all the battery powered torches in the house and sticking them in the sand, making the beach light up magically. Then Sahaj would get her iPod speakers and her phone, then pump some loud tunes, which we both would have a midnight jam to.

I laughed, remembering all the times people came out of their own houses and told us to keep it down; of course we didn't give one about them and carried on about our own business.

I moved to the kitchen, looking at the big black mark at the ceiling. The memory made me smile; it was the day that Sahaj and I decided that we would try and cook. Let's just say that it didn't go exactly as we planned. Sahaj accidentally threw the dishtowel into the fire, but she was actually aiming for me. Poor girl, her aim still hasn't gotten better. the dishtowel fueled the fire and we ran out screaming. When we came back, after my Dad had extinguished the fire, we discovered the huge black mark on the ceiling.

"Well I ain't ever cooking with you again!" I remember her saying; she had actually gotten good at cooking, but me? I would burn the whole house down if I tried.

I remembered us playing volleyball on the beach with these guys who lived next door. There was particular memory that I had always cherished- and laughed at. Sahaj had always had a massive crush on one of the guys and once we were playing, she was too busy staring at him to see the ball flying straight towards her. Let's just say Sahaj was left red, half because the ball slapped her in the face and the other half because we were all laughing at her.

I powered up the old computer that was in the living room and found a folder which was labeled 'RETARDS'. I chuckled and opened it to reveal the pictures from one of our midnight jams. There were loads of shots of us acting crazy, sticking our tongues out, but there were sweet shot too; us lying on the sand or us hugging. God forbid these pictures leaking into the public- it would be the death of me. For each photo I could remember exactly what we were doing and thinking. This made me realize: memories, times and history like this wasn't to be forgotten or thrown away.

It made me realize that I could never run away from Sahaj, so why was I even here trying? We had so much history together. Even the way we met was special. We hadn't actually physically met when she added me on Facebook, probably because I came up on her suggestions because of our mutual friends. We talked a lot online and on the phone and over time we shared such a close bond that we became best friends and we hadn't even met each other yet. It turned out we lived within a twenty minute distance from each other. So one day I decided that I was going to go see her, so I asked my Dad to drive me there; surprising her once I got there. And from there on, it only went up. Till now. But that was my stupid mistake and I was going to fix it no matter what.

I spent the night in the house and got up early morning to drive back to Forks. I was going to make this right, I was going to apologize to her and beg for her to forgive me and I wasn't going to take no for an answer.

I parked in the parking lot and saw her talking to Bella; I started walking towards her slowly. Here goes.

**A/N Hey guys! wooo! i got this up really quick this time :d Because i spent the WHOLE of today writing it! Even though this was a filler it really was necessary to show that sahaj and roslyn weren't just these 'Mary-Jane's who had no purpose. Sorry for the two fillers but I PROMISE you MAJOR DRAMA in the next chapter :D ;)**

**As you know Sahaj and Roslyn are BFFLs in this story.**

**Roslyn(the fabulous girl who inspired the roslyn in this story) is actually my bestie in real life aswell.**

**So I just want to dedicate this chapter my fab best friend (penname: AliceCullen444). I love you xxxxxx :D**

**Oh AND chapter art is up! And it's actually picture of me and roslyn ;) :D!**

**PS. For those wanting to add me on facebook just search 'Sahaj Cullen'**

**PPS. go on my formspring peeps! I'm on there all the time and will answer your questions :D**

**PPPS. I JUST realized i spelt "wrath" wrong in the chapter art...oops. :L**

**PPPPS. REVIEW :D hehe**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**


	19. Uttered Thoughts and New Resolutions

**Chapter 19- Uttered Thoughts and New Resolutions**

**Roslyn POV**

I saw her talking to Bella and she wiped something out of her eye. A tear. I couldn't believe I had made her cry! I hated it when she did that. I was so occupied in my thoughts that I didn't realize I wasn't moving and when I started walking again I was too late. Bella and Sahaj had already disappeared off to class.

"God," I sighed, exasperated. "Why does nothing ever go right for me?" I turned around. My shoulders slumped and my mood suddenly at rock bottom. I dragged my feet back to my car; I can't believe I had missed my chance to apologize to her again!

I powered the car up and turned out of the parking lot, driving back home. I would just have to wait for there and as soon as she got home, grovel for forgiveness. I wasn't going to chicken out and run away again. _I wasn't. _I kept trying to convince myself of that, it took everything in me not to run away thinking, _well I tried. _I needed to make this right, I couldn't just leave her, she would be so torn up. Fighting with me makes her cry, God knows what she would do if I left. God knows what _I'd _do if I left.

Once I pulled up to our house, I took my key and made my way inside. I was expecting the house to be silent, but I froze when I heard the sound of some crappy show on TV. Sahaj couldn't be watching it... I had just seen her at school. Maybe she forgot to turn the TV off? _Yeah, that's probably it_, I thought trying to convince myself and trying not to think of the worst. Although it was very unlikely that Sahaj would leave the TV on.

Then I heard munching, like someone eating popcorn. Okay, so my previous guesses were _not _true. Either Sahaj had gotten home surprisingly quick and was sitting on the sofa munching on popcorn or someone had decided to break into our house. I was desperately hoping it wasn't the latter. Fear gripped me as I tiptoed to the doorway of the living room and pressed myself flat again the wall beside it. My heard was thundering and my breath was coming in quick, _loud _gasps. If it wasn't for the loud TV, the intruder would have heard me and I probably would have been in deep shit.

_Should I call the cops? _I thought.

_For what? _A voice in my head said.

_To arrest him! _

_For doing what? Watching TV?_

_True...But he still broke into my house!_

_You yourself know that the police service in the town is shit so you have to take care of this yourself._

I knew the annoying voice in my head was right, I had to deal with this myself. I snuck away from the living room and to the hallway.

"Think fast Roslyn," I whispered to myself, _what could I use to hit the intruder? _I finally spotted a vase and picked it up. "Aha!" I thought. I measured it up in my hand; it was probably heavy enough to knock the intruder out cold.

I took the vase and tip-toed back to the living room and pressed myself to the wall again, taking a peak around the doorway. I could only see the back of intruder and he was eating popcorn. _My _popcorn. _Grr, _I thought. I took the vase and held it with both hands, mentally preparing myself for what I would do. Should I sneak up behind him then just hit him of warn him first? No...warning him would be quite problematic since he's most likely way stronger than me. Straight hit it is then. Before going in I took one last look in and I caught sight of what he was watching on TV: Discovery Channel. Seriously _Discovery Channel? _He must be a serious geek; I mean who breaks into someone's house to watch _Discovery Channel? _I could kind of understand it though, our TV was actually awesome. It was a LCD screen with HD enabled. The geek probably wanted to watch 'The life of a Mammoth' in HD or something.

I took a deep breath and walked inside, making sure to take small, silent steps. Once I hitting distance of the intruder, I took a deep breath, positioning the vase in the air, about to hit when he turned around.

"AHHHHHH!" he yelled while standing up, when he did I finally saw his face; no _wonder _the messy bronze hair looked so familiar. It was _Rob. _Only _Rob _would be geeky enough to watch Discovery Channel, I mentally rolled my eyes.

"AHHHH!" I screamed as well, having been startled by his outburst. "ROB?" I yelled.

"Roslyn!" he said, clutching his chest and relaxing.

"What are you doing here?" I shouted at him, putting the vase down on a nearby table.

"What are _you _doing here?" he questioned back.

"It's _my _house," I said snapping at him.

"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" he said giving me a cynical look.

"Yeah but-," I started then remembered something. "Hey! I asked you first!"

"I came here last night," he answered, shrugging like it was the normal thing to do. To just appear in your girlfriend and her friend's house_ randomly _while you were _supposed _to filming.

"_Why?" _I asked him, walking around him and sitting on the couch, grabbing the popcorn and putting it on my lap, popping some in my mouth. "Aren't you supposed to be _filming_?"

"Yeah but Sahaj called me last night, as I put it on hold for a while and flew over here." He said walking over sitting down as well, stealing some popcorn from me.

"Why did she call you?" I asked although I already knew the answer.

"I don't know she didn't say, she just called saying she needed me and once she got here all she did was cry so I actually have no idea what's going on. Where were you last night?" he asked me.

"_Long _story," I told him, sighing.

"Do you know why she was so upset?" he asked.

"Yeah, again _long_ story," I said grabbing the remote from him and turning America's Next Top Model on.

"Hey!" he whined. "I don't wanna watch that!"

"Tough!" I said, sticking my tongue out at him. "It's my house."

"Well, no it's your and Sahaj's house. Since I'm her boyfriend I get to choose what to watch as well." He said trying to be clever with me.

"What-ever," I said turning back to the TV.

"Anyway why was she upset?" Rob asked again.

"I told you, _long _story," I said my eyes still on the TV, uninterested in him.

"I've got time, tell me. I want to know why my girlfriend was crying her eyes out," he said and that statement made my heart ache and guilt to bubble up inside of me. My remorse was still fresh and I didn't need him to add to it.

"Okay," I sighed, muted the TV, and turned to him, crossing my legs on the couch. "Well Bella fell out with the Cullen's because she hid the fact that she could sing and shizz and then they got angry and Sahaj defended her and asked me to back her up and we fell out. So yeah," I blurted quickly while Rob sat there looking more confused than a cow at the top of a staircase.

"Huh?" he said, baffled. "Who fell out...Cullen's? Huh?" he said for the second time. I sighed impatiently, stupid slow boy brain and repeated everything slowing down.

"Well Bella-" I started but he interrupted me.

"Who's Bella?" he asked and it was then it dawned on me then he had _no _idea whatsoever on what had happened here from the start.

"Argh," I moaned. "Fine I'll start from the beginning."

"Yes, do."

"Well basically as you know me and Sahaj both came to Forks right?"

"I'm not _thick _Roslyn," he said looking at me as if I was mentally retarded. "I can _see _you moved here." He said motioning around us.

"Oh ha-ha," I said glaring at him. I seriously hated him sometimes, seriously I had no idea what Sahaj, _or _all his fan girls see in him. I mean _sure, _I tolerate him because Sahaj is seriously in love with him, I don't really like him that much. I like him enough to stick around him all the times all three of us hung out together but the day that he broke Sahaj's heart, I was going to kick his stuck up ass. He is such a smart ass sometimes and it seriously pisses me off the way he never relaxes. He always needs to have witty comebacks otherwise the world would end. He never just lets loose and just have a good time. He never lets his guard down, except around Sahaj of course, _she _gets to see the real him.

"Anyway," I said, continuing. "We became really good friends with Bella and the Cullen's."

"Whoa," he interrupted me again. _Would he _quit _doing that? _"You became friends a _whole_ family? How many twins did their mother have?" He said completely shocked.

"No you dipshit, just let me finish," I said in an irritated tone. "They were all adopted since Esme couldn't have kids."

"I'm guessing Esme's the mother," he said putting air quotes around the word 'mother' with his .

"No shit douche bag."

"Yeow," He said in a faux hurt and I noted what he said. He had caught the phrase 'Yeow' off Sahaj. _Copycat_. "Somebody got up the bitchy side of the bed this morning."

I rolled my eyes at him. "And they're all together, except for Bella and Edward. They're the classic example of people who everyone can are in love with each other, except _them._"

"Together..?" Rob said with quite a disgusted look on his face.

"Yes! Together, as in dating. What do you call it over there in England? Oh yeah, going out," I said mocking him and putting air quotes around the words 'going out' with my fingers.

"I know what it means, I'm not stupid."

"Are you sure," I said, talking to him in my baby voice.

"Just carry on!" he said, sounding like he was getting ticked off. _Yes, _I mentally 'booyah-ed' myself. I _loved _it when I pissed him off.

"Well yeah they're together."

"Isn't that kind of wrong? I mean like they're siblings..." he said with the same disgusted look on his face.

"Dude!" I said smacking his arm. "They're not _technically _related," I said about to continue, but he had to go and interrupt me _again._

"_Still," _he said and that was the last straw for me.

"Okay do you know wanna know the story or what?" I said exploding out at him and I saw him withdrawing a little in fear. _Oh yeah, just because I'm small doesn't mean I'm not scary._

"Yes Ma'am," he said with a faux salute. I took a deep breath and continued.

"Well we became really good friend and hung out together. Sahaj somehow found out that Bella could sing and write songs and play guitar and shizz. Then your brilliantly smart girlfriend decides that telling everyone her secret is the best option in this situation."

"Hey! Don't insult my girlfriend."

"She's my best friend. I can do what I like."

"Still."

"Shut. _Up._"

"Sorry, carry on."

"Well yeah she takes us to Bella's house and demands to see the basement, but before we got the chance to go down there we heard someone singing. We went out to the garden, and there was Bella, with her guitar, playing to her friend: Jacob or whatever. So then the whole of the Cullen's get all like angry at her, saying she hid it from them and shit. So basically shit went down, and then they stormed off angrily," I said, conveniently missing out the part about Sahaj and I.

"Okay," he said drawing it out. "What happened to Sahaj? And where were you?"

"Well basically, I don't want to go into details. We kind of fell out when we chose sides in the argument. So I was angry then and I left to go my family's beach house to blow off some steam and the night there made me realize my mistakes and I had actually _just _gone to apologize to her in school but she had already gone to lessons; so I came back here and you almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. "Well just make up when she gets home."

"If she _does _come home," I said with a hint of bitterness in my voice. "She'll probably go to Bella's house."

"How do you know?"

"I saw them together today," I said. "They're like BFFLs now."

"Are you...jealous?" Rob said grinning like he had just hit jackpot.

"No! God seriously!"

"Yeah you are! You're jealous that Bella might replace you!" He said starting to laugh and I got the cushion from the Sofa and whacked him in the head.

"Aw little Roslyn-"_Smack_ "is insecure-"_Smack _"Aw that's-"_Smack _"so cute!" _Smack._

The little son of a bitch kept laughing even after I hit him.

"You're such a fucking retard," I said turning the TV on again and putting my legs up on the coffee table, while he continued with his laughing fit. As I did do, I realized I still had the same clothes on as yesterday, since I didn't have a change of clothes at the beach house.

"Can I watch Discovery?" he asked after he had calmed down.

"No dumb ass!" I said standing and heading upstairs to change.

"Hey you're not even watching it!" he protested and I realized that I still had the remote in my hand. I lobbed it at his head while walking out.

"Thank you!" he yelled.

I ran to the room Sahaj and I shared, even though it was a massive house with many bedrooms we changed it so there was one massive bedroom on the top floor with glass walls all around. One side of the room was mine and the other: Sahaj's. We had a TV in the middle and bean bags around it for whenever we wanted to have our movie nights. On my side of the bedroom, I could see our backyard pool. _Yeah, our house was awesome_. The crazy things we did were awesome. I seriously couldn't believe I risked losing all of them.

There were two bathrooms attached to the bedroom and I stepped into mine and showered. I started to sing the first song that came to mind which was, 'Can't be Tamed' and, ironically, Sahaj sang it. _Wow I missed her._

"STOP SINGING!" I heard Rob yell.

"STOP BREATHING!" I yelled back and continued.

Once I had showered I stepped out into my closet and chose a nice outfit to wear. Even if I and my best friend were fighting, I couldn't lose my style, what if the Paparazzi showed up in Forks?

I chose some simple black skinny jeans and a beaded swing tank top to make the outfit classier. I topped it off with my Juicy Couture wedges. Once my outfit was done I proceeded downstairs to steal the TV off of Rob.

**EPOV**

_Shit._

**BPOV**

_Fuck._

**EPOV**

_Ground, please swallow me._

**BPOV**

_Kill me now. _Those were my thoughts as I neared the classroom. What the hell was I going to say to Edward? Let alone say, what was I going to _do _around him? I couldn't act normal! Should I ignore him? I was completely confused as to what I should do, but I didn't have much time to ponder on it as I was fast approaching the classroom.

"Okay, you can do this Bella," I took a deep breath. Then another. And another. "In, out, in out," I whispered to myself as I walked into the classroom. As I stepped inside, I realized everyone was already here and the lesson had already started. _Shit._

"Miss Swan," Mr. Banner said, giving me a disapproving look. "You're late." I felt like saying '_No shit Sherlock' _but I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to get myself into more trouble. So I settled for a simple: "Sorry, Mr. Banner."

I quickly took my place next to Edward, trying not to look at him otherwise I'd be dumbfounded and might just jump on him, begging him to forgive me. I looked through the corner of my glasses and internally sighed. He was _so _beautiful and handsome and just..._perfect. _Except for the fact that he wasn't forgiving me but otherwise? He was perfect.

"Miss Swan!" I heard Mr. Banner's stern voice, I must have zoned out while I was looking at Edward because he looked quite angry as I turned to him.

"Y-yes Mr. Banner?"

"As you can see," He started motioning around him. "We are _not _outside and there is _no _sun here so take off your sunglasses." He turned back to the whiteboard writing something about Mitosis on it.

I had not thought of the whole glasses-inside-could-cause-trouble concept. I didn't want to keep them on to get into trouble with Mr. Banner and I didn't want to remove them for Edward to see the mess I was. I decided I did not want to get expelled or something so I took them off gingerly, placing them in my bag. I snuck a look at Edward, holding my breath and he was staring _right_ into my eyes.

**EPOV**

As Bella took off her sunglasses she turned to me and I got a look at her. She turned away quickly and hid her face with her hair but not before I got a good look at it. _Wow. _She looked a mess. Her eyes were read and she had bags and dark circles around her eyes. It looked like she had stayed up all night and cried. Somehow the concept of Bella crying made me get a churning sensation in my stomach. I soon realized it was guilt. I felt bad that I made Bella cry, how could I not? I loved her. In that moment, he looked so weak and vulnerable, I just wanted to forgive and forget and hug her to my chest and never let her go.

I had to keep reminding myself of what she did, otherwise I would have just run to her and apologized myself. It was easy to say that I would let Bella go when i wasn't near her but now she was next to me. I needed her with me. I _needed_ her to be mine. More than ever. But I couldn't just forget what she did.

Mr. Banner told us we had to work in pairs on an experiment. My Biology partner was Bella of course, _well this should be interesting._

**BPOV**

Mr. Banner notified us that we had to do an experiment _in pairs. Oh boy. _Both Edward and I started working silently, taking the equipment from each other without a word. The whole classroom was full of banter but it was silence around us. It was suffocating and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Edward?" I spoke up, clearing my throat as just looking him made me speechless.

"Yes?" Edward said politely and somehow that was worse than him ignoring me or being cold to me. He said it like I was a stranger and that was like a whip to my heart. At least if he said it coldly, it would show that we _were _friends, he was acting like this was hurting me more than I ever imagined.

"How long is this going to go on Edward?" I sighed. "I said sorry, what else do you want me to do?"

"Bella," Edward said returning to his coldness towards and I was wrong. This hurt_ just _as much. "You didn't think it was necessary to talk to me about it then so let's not talk more than necessary now." That served as a hard slap across the face. I didn't know what I felt, it was a cocktail of emotions, I felt hurt, misunderstood and angry at the same time but somehow my anger overpowered everything and I had to fight myself not to do anything drastic right then. Tears still stung my eyes though, I couldn't escape the hurt.

"Mr. Cullen! Miss Swan!" Mr. Banner said harshly, obviously having heard us talking. "Why are you talking in my class?"

_Why are you teaching in my conversation?_

"Excuse me?" I heard him say. My first reaction was confusion then it dawned on me, I had said that aloud, _shit_, it was meant to be in my head.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Banner; I didn't mean to say that aloud." I said and the whole class laughed. I ducked my head in embarrassment while he turned away with a 'humph' and continued teaching.

That conversation was the last thing said between Edward and I, at the end of the lesson we gathered our books and left the classroom, not acknowledging each other at all.

I had stayed strong in front of him and now that I was away from him, I couldn't hold myself together anymore. The pain was too much. Tears were quickly cascading down my cheeks and wiped them away, sniffling. I escaped into the girls bathroom and locked myself in a cubicle before anyone could see me crying.

I let the tears run free once I got in there, I cried for my loss. I cried for my mistakes. I cried for how they misunderstood. I cried for them. I cried for my life. The way it wasn't what it used to me. How badly I wanted it to go back.

It was funny how when I was just friends with him, I wasn't happy because I wanted more. I was greedy and selfish. Right now, I would do anything to go back. I would do anything for him to just speak to me again. I would do anything to be with them again.

Slowly my remorse, guilt and pain transformed itself into anger. I had apologized, I had suffered enough. What more could I do? They knew how sorry I was so why were they doing this? Especially Edward, how could he reject me for something this small, when I forgave him so easily after what _he _did. I wasn't going to confront them about this. They couldn't just think that this was my fault.

I stepped out, making sure no one was there, and cleaned up my face and went back to class, saying I had gone to the School Nurse.

When Lunch rolled around, I walked with purpose to the cafeteria and once I got there, they weren't there yet so I picked a spot in the corner, paid for my lunch and sat down.

"Oh God," I muttered when I saw approaching me _again_.

"Hi Bella!" he said standing awkwardly next to me.

"Mike please just piss off, I don't have the patience to put up with your shit right now." I couldn't believe what just came out of my mouth. I wasn't usually one to snap at someone. I even put up with Mike. This argument or fall-out or whatever you want to call this shit was really getting to me and making me not myself.

"Okay...I'm sorry..." Mike said looking taken aback and he walked away slowly and returned to his table with Jess and Lauren.

I had been so lost in my thoughts; I hadn't the seen the cafeteria filling up and I saw Sahaj walking towards me.

"Hey," she said gingerly sitting down opposite me. "How'd Biology go?"

"What?" I said shaking my head, clearing it. "How'd you know I had Biology with Edward?"

"Because I stalk you," she said rolling her eyes and that little comment, it brightened my day and I smiled a little. "You told me you retard."

"Did I?" I was totally out of my head today. "Well it went as good it was going to go."

"What happened?" she said leaning forward to listen.

"Well let's just say Edward made it very clear that he didn't want anything to do with me anymore," I said looking down at the table and spinning the bottle cap as I talked. "But you know what? I had a revelation."

"And what's that?" she asked, intrigued.

"That, there is really nothing more I can do. If they can't forgive me after all I've done for them then maybe they were right. We weren't as good friends as we thought we were." I said.

"Wow," she said and I looked up to see her looking truly shocked. "Are you feeling okay?" she said feeling my forehead. "The Bella I knew always blamed herself."

"Yeah I'm fine," I said gently smacking her hand away. "I finally decided that I've had enough of their shit. It's time to stop being so selfless."

"You're right." she said looking at them, across the room. "Good on you."

"Oh good they're here," I said following her gaze and standing up.

"Where are you going Bella?" she said standing as well.

"To give them a piece of my mind." I said starting forward but Sahaj grabbed my arm.

"Bella," she hesitated. "I don't think that's a good idea..."

"No," I said shaking her arm off. "They need to know that Bella Swan grew a backbone." I said striding over the "Cullen" table. As I approached them, they all looked at me like '_What the hell? This girl has the nerve to come up to us?'_

"Okay I don't know what your deal is," I said, the anger evident in my voice. "But you guys need to get over it."

"And you need to learn to not keep secrets hidden for so long," Edward said standing up to me, by this point the whole cafeteria had gone quiet and everyone was watching us.

"Okay, I said sorry. What more do you want me to do? Because I honestly don't know what your problem is." I said voice rising to the next level.

"My problem? What's your problem? I thought I told you we weren't going to speak more than necessary."

"This _is _necessary. You know what? I'm sick of your shit! I can't believe you're being childish enough to hold a grudge over something so unimportant."

"Honesty is important to me," Edward said.

"You know what? I can't believe _you _out of everyone are being this way. I forgave so quickly when you came running back to me. I forgave you in two seconds regarding a mistake which lasted two years. If you can't let something this little go, then maybe you're right, we're not as good friends as I thought we were." After that little speech, I stormed out of the cafeteria to cool down. I sat down on one of the nearby benches, all the courage drained out of me, but in a strange way I did not regret what I just did. It felt good to get it all off my chest.

**EPOV**

As I saw Bella walking out of the cafeteria, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Mom was _right. _I guess we all thought it was fun to make Bella chase after us, apologizing to us, now that she had realized she was right and we were wrong, she was truly gone. It was my job to get her back and I would do anything for that. As I looked around, I could tell everyone felt the way I did.

"Guys," I said banging my head on the table. "We are _such _idiots."

"I'll fix it," Alice said standing up. "Why do I have to clean up everyone's mess?" she said and as she did so, her hand caught her coke bottle and it spilt all over the table.

"Oh and clean that up," she said before walking out of the cafeteria.

"I told you so," Emmett said and he did. _He really did._

After lunch, I dragged myself to my next class, all the while mentally beating myself, I caught sight of something. Bella was walking with Mike, _Mike, _to class and they were talking. Did she not have taste any more? I shuddered at the thought of Bella _liking _Mike. I swear I would die.

As if it couldn't get any worse, suddenly _Jacob _appeared. _Jacob. _On a fucking motorbike._ I need to get one of those, they look seriously cool..._I thought, the boyish part of my brain taking over.

"Bella!" he yelled and I saw her face light up when she caught sight of him. My blood boiled and I fisted my hands, otherwise I would go punch the shit out of him. I saw her run to him and hop on the back of his bike. It was the most painful thing in the world, I wanted nothing more than to run to her now and say sorry I was. How sorry we _all _were. She looked like she was the happiest girl on Earth as she sat there, her arms wrapped around him. I would give anything in the world to be Jacob right now. To be able to touch her, hug her.

"Tell Coach I went home ill?" she yelled to Mike, pouting.

"Sure!" he yelled back and that was the last I saw of Bella, as she drove out of Forks High to God knows where. Where did he even live? Did he even go to school?

"So how'd it go?" Rose asked Alice as we met up at the end of the day in the parking lot. Only I knew that Alice _had not _and _could not_ have possibly fixed things with Bella.

"It didn't," she said sheepishly. "I saw her outside then I chickened out."

"What a surprise," I said rolling my eyes. I'd have to fix this myself.

**Sahaj POV**

I sighed as I drove home, a lot had happened today and I couldn't wait to get home to relax. I also had to explain to Rob why I was such a mess today. I was getting seriously worried about Roslyn, she wasn't at school and she wasn't with the Cullen's, where could she be? I really wanted to text or call her but I knew she needed her space.

"I'm home honey!" I said, laughing. Rob and I always did that as we came home, taking the piss out of people who actually say it _seriously._

"In here!" I heard him yell. As I neared the Living Room, I heard Tyra Banks' voice; why the fuck was she watching America's Next Top Model? As I walked in, I saw Roslyn sitting on the couch next to him and my eyes went wide.

"Roslyn?" I nearly yelled, wanting so badly to run up to her and hug her to death.

"Sahaj!" Roslyn said.

**Roslyn POV**

_Well here goes nothing._

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**A/N- I'm just a bit disappointed. I know I have a ton more readers and not many of you guys are reviewing and im kinda loosing my drive to write. I work really hard to get these up and a minute of your time brightens my day. I had this written ages ago but i didn't post it as only a few people had reviewed! Loads of you used to review! What happened?**

**I've lost my morale.**

**Outfit and Chapter art is up. Also i have a new story up, What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger. Check it out if you want.**

**Oh and Review? Please?**


	20. Realizations and Group Confessions

**Chapter 20- Realizations and Group Confessions**

**Roslyn POV**

I just stood there staring at her, thinking of what I could say, my mouth opening and closing like a fish. How could I even begin to tell her how sorry I was for doing what I did, and almost doing what I'd deeply regret later. Was this the last straw this time? Would she ever forgive me or would she have had enough of the trouble I'm always causing her. My heart was hammering because she was staring right into my eyes, questioning me. My mouth was dry and my tongue: tied. I had no idea what I was supposed to do then, I even had Rob watching this whole ordeal.

"Well, are you gonna say something?" she said awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. I kept opening my mouth as if I was going to say something but I closing it shortly afterwards, probably confusing her into oblivion.

"Er yeah!" I said clearing my throat, turning bright red and stumbling over my words, while I heard Rob snicker behind me. I was embarrassed and frustrated enough, I did _not _need him standing there, making fun of me the whole time. I had enough to deal with. So I grabbed the nearest thing to me, which happened to be the sofa cushion and pummeled it at his head, which only made him laugh harder.

"Okay, okay," he said, struggling to control his laughter, his hands up in surrender. "I'm leaving, I'm leaving." he said before disappearing into the garden, but I could still hear his annoying laugh. What the hell was so funny about this situation? I get that we're not the best of friends but he couldn't even have some decency for the sake of his girlfriend. Yet again, I did _not _see what she saw in him. _Seriously. _

I turned back to Sahaj and saw her raise an eyebrow questioningly at me like _'Are you gonna talk or what?'._

"Yeah um," I said, taking a step towards her. She was less intimidating because I was roughly at the same height level as her as she was wearing flats and I was wearing heels. "I-Why don't we sit down?" I said walking over to the couch. This would be a whole lot easier if I didn't have to worry about collapsing every two seconds.

"Okay," she said dragging it out and moving to sit opposite me on the couch. "So?" she asked awkwardly. The atmosphere between us was odd, we both knew what the other was thinking, yet we refused to acknowledge it until it was said out aloud. I took a deep breath, playing with the hem of my shirt and looking at my shoes.

"I'm sorry," I said in a whisper, it was so quiet she couldn't have been able to hear it, but I knew she did. I finally looked up at her to see that her face was a mask, it wouldn't show me what she was feeling. I couldn't even look at her eyes to fathom her thoughts as she was looking anywhere but me.

"What happened last night?" she said sighing and putting her head in her hands. "Where did you go?" she said looking in my eyes and I saw tears glistening in hers. It was obvious she knew of my absence, it probably scared her to death. "Do you know how worried I was?" she said, her voice shaking with tears. Even there was an invisible barrier between us, I couldn't help but cross it and pull her into a hug.

"I'm sorry," I said wrapping my arms tightly around her neck, starting to bawl myself, remembering how stupid and foolish I could have been if I hadn't come to my senses. I felt her arms come around my back as she cried into my shoulder.

"Hey do you-" Rob started, walking in. I gave him the death glare over Sahaj's shoulder and he retreated, eyes wide and arms up.

"You were mad at me and I understand that, but you know how scared I was when I came home and saw you weren't here. Also this morning when I saw you weren't with the Cullens? Do you even _know _what kinds of thought crossed my mind?" she said pulling back and looking me square in the eyes.

"I know, I know," bowing my head in shame. "I'm sorry."

"Don't ever do that to me again," she said, tackling me in a hug again. Even though I knew we still had to sort out a lot of things, such as why I felt the urge to leave, I knew that we would be okay. I knew I had my best friend back and it was the best feeling in the world. Even better than hitting Rob, which was saying something.

"I won't," I whispered to her shoulder.

"What happened?" she asked pulling back and I knew exactly what she meant. We had to sort this out if we were ever going to go back to the way we once were. "I thought you were over the fact that I hid that secret from you?"

"Well-Wait, how did you know that was the problem?" I said astounded as to how she could have known. I had only _just _figured it out.

"I know you, that's why."

"Well I guess I thought I was over it, but I buried instead of confronting you about it. So when this situation came up, I guess I did what I wanted to do years ago." I said.

"Why didn't you just tell me? Or like yelled at me back then instead of giving me this huge scare?" she said shaking her head at me.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "I just-" I stopped what I was saying as soon as I looked up and saw the expression on her face. She looked like she could just burst out laughing any second.

"What's so funny?" I said and that was it for her as she threw her head back and burst out laughing while I sat there staring at her, trying to figure out what was so funny.

"Done now?" I said as she calmed down, composing herself again.

"What was so funny?" I said.

"Oh nothing, you're just so adorable," she said reaching across and ruffling my hair.

"No!" I said smacking her hand away. "Shut up!"

"Anyway, okay so I get that but where did you go last night?" she said putting on her serious face again. "You scared me to death."

"Well," I said preparing to explain to her that she might have never actually seen me ever again. "I was really mad at you and at that point I was blinded by my anger so I went to the beach house." I said not even mentioning my initial intentions.

"Yeah?" she said, staring intently at me. "Why do you look as guilty about that?" she said and my eyes went wide. How the hell did she know I felt guilty?

"Well, I was planning on leaving forever," I said meekly, looking down at the ground.

"You what?" she said her voice livid. I could tell she was seriously angry about that as I looked up and saw her face.

"I'm sorry!" I said in a haste. "I was overpowered by my anger!"

"I can't believe you! I can't believe you would do that to me over something so...so juvenile!" she said, anger etched on her face as she abruptly stood up, all the softness disappearing from her face. This was something odd about Sahaj, one minute she would be so sweet and inviting and the next she'd turn completely cold, whiplashing you. Even though I had learnt to deal with it over the years, it still hurt.

"No! Wait! I'm sorry!" I said standing and grabbing her wrist. "We're so close to being normal again, please don't ruin that," I said pleading with her, and I knew my choice of words wasn't the best.

"Roslyn!" she said snatching her wrist away from me again. "We can't be normal again if you have grudges against me deep enough for you to consider leaving?"

"No, I _don't_," I said, sighing. "I was just- I don't know what I was thinking." I said frustrated.

"Roslyn, why did you not talk to me?" she said, her eyes softening up.

"I don't know," I said looking down. "I guess I still hadn't figured out that I was mad at you for something that happened all those years ago."

"But you're over it now?" she said looking at me skeptically.

"Yes! Definitely!" I said, rushing to assure her, I desperately needed to get out of this rut I had made for myself.

"Then welcome back," she said giving me a wide smile and opening her arms.

"Oh thank God," I said, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. For a second there, I thought she was seriously not going to take me back. "I thought you weren't going to forgive me," I said still shaky as I wrapped my arms around her.

"You silly girl," she said pulling back, gripping my shoulders and giving me a kind smile. "How many times have I told you I love you? How could I _not _forgive you?"

"Then why did you act all cold before?" I asked, confused.

"You know I like scaring you," she said winking at me and I playfully hit her shoulder, but secretly I was glad everything between us was as it should be.

"I love you," I whispered, pulling her into a hug again.

"I love you more," she said, with an amused expression on her face. This was our inside joke, whenever one of us said 'I love you', we'd end up having a battle saying who loves who more.

"I love you times infinity! So HA!" I yelled in her face, my expression mirroring hers.

"Fuck you!" she said and we both fell into a fit of laughter. Words could not express how glad I was that everything had fallen back into place again. There was an issue at the back of mind, but I could deal with that later. I was too happy enjoying this moment.

"Can I come in now?" I heard Rob say timidly from the doorway.

"Yeah," Sahaj said, still laughing. She then proceeded to run to him and wrap her arms around his neck, whispering in his ear.

I was on the brink of throwing up all over them, so I sat down, continuing my America's Next Top Model marathon.

That issue which was jumping at the back of my mind suddenly brought itself to the front, having been pushed away enough times. I wondered what had happened between Bella and the Cullens at school today. Did they sort things out like Sahaj and I did? Did the Cullens even realize that it was _their _fault, not Bella's? As soon as I realized that _I_ was at fault, not Sahaj; I also came to the conclusion that the Cullens were wrong, not Bella. I had forgiven Sahaj when she had told me, I was even happy for her, I didn't completely shut her out of my life. Even if their anger was justifiable to an extent, they should at least sit down with her and talk about how they felt, instead of treating her as cruelly as they had.

Had Bella even realized that it wasn't her fault? The poor girl was probably blaming herself. I wondered how she had coped at school, I knew for a fact that she had at least one lesson with Edward, how had he treated her? Or had he just been ice cold like he was the last time we were all together in her house. For a guy who was supposed to be madly in love with her, as he claimed, he was such a jerk. If he was so in love with her, then he should be able to look past any of her mistakes, that anger shouldn't overpower his love for her.

"Sahaj what happened today?" I said turning to her only to see them making out in my Living Room. In _my_ Living Room!

"Ugh guys!" I said, frustrated. "Why can't a girl watch TV in her own house without wanting to throw up every two seconds?" I said throwing a cushion at them. _Wow, _I had thrown a lot of cushions today, _poor cushions._

"What?" Rob said turning to me and smirking. That fucking smirk which pissed me off so much, and he knew that.

"Agh you fucking-" I said, getting up from the sofa, about to run to him and smack him silly; but, unfortunately, Sahaj held me back.

"He's laughing!" I said whining like a little girl and pointing at him, while he tried to muffle it.

"Roslyn!" Sahaj said, warning me with her eyes.

"Fine!" I said pouting and going to sit back down on the sofa. "What happened at school today?" I said once I had finally calmed down.

"Wow," she said, coming to sit beside me while Rob disappeared into the house. _Thank God, _otherwise I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from beating him up. Which would be quite impossible anyway since he was bigger, heavier _and _stronger than me, but a girl can dream. "Where to start?" she said.

"Why, what happened?" I said, wanting to know what big 'drama' happened today.

"The appropriate question would be what _didn't _happen," she said looking shocked, probably recalling memories from today.

"Would you tell me already?"

"Well Bella and I had a showdown with Lauren and Jessica and Bella finally realized that she wasn't at fault and you will not believe what she did!" she said nervously.

"What?"

"At lunch, she went up to Edward's table, and both of them made a huge scene, yelling at each other; and let me tell you, Bella certainly gave them a piece of her mind."

"Oh my God!" I said, my mouth hanging open. Bella didn't seem like the type of person who would just go around blowing up at people. I guess what happened with the Cullens really pushed her over the edge.

"I think they all _have _realized that it's their fault. I think now, they're all freaking out at the prospect of apologizing to Bella, after seeing this side of her." Sahaj said thoughtfully, she was very good at reading people and I had feeling she was spot on. Right now, even thought they had hurt Bella and she was heartbroken, the Cullens needed someone to guide them.

"I need to fix this," Sahaj said putting her head in her hands. "This is my whole fault. If it wasn't for me, they wouldn't be in this mess in the first place."

"But if you think about it, it's good that you did this. This was gonna come out one day anyway, so better sooner than later right?" I said, reassuring her, I knew she was blaming herself for this whole thing.

"I guess you're right," she said, taking a deep breath.

"We need to go talk to them," I said.

"Yeah, we do."

**EPOV**

As we all entered the house together, we came face to face with Mom, who was still livid with us.

"You were right Mom," I sighed and walked over to her, in this situation, where I was lost as hell, I really needed my mother.

"I always am," she said wrapping her arms around me pulling me into a hug. I had to fight my feelings to keep them from coming out. I could hide them for a long time, suppress them so no one would see; but as soon as someone starts comfort me, I can't hold back. I didn't want to bawl in front of Mom, so I let go of her hastily and walked into the living room, where we all sat together.

"So what exactly made you guys realize that you were wrong?" Mom asked us, leaning forward, fighting to keep that 'I told you so' look off of her face.

"It's okay Mom," I said, half-smiling. "You can say 'I told you so!'"

"I told you so!" she said smiling brightly. "That felt good." she said laughing and I couldn't help but laugh with her; even though there was nothing funny about this situation.

"Hey wait!" Emmett said pitching in late, as usual. "I already knew," he said grinning. _Kiss-ass._

"Well done Emmett," I said snapping at him, irritated that we had a huge problem in front of us and all he could think about was the fact that he was right for once. "We're still no closer to solving this mess."

"It'll be okay guys," Mom said in her soothing voice, which, normally, would have calmed me down but not today. I had already messed up so many times with Bella, this was one too many. She could probably forgive the rest of us, but not me. They hadn't screwed up at all with her, I had way too many times to count.

"It'll be okay for you guys!" I said throwing my arms up in frustration. "You guys haven't messed up as much as I have."

"Haha he's right," Rose said and they all laughed at me. _They fucking laughed at me._

"Laugh all you want but you're gonna have to apologize to her too." _That shut them up._

"Okay so what made you have this epiphany of sorts?" Mom said, taking us back to the initial topic.

"Well, today," Alice started, she hadn't spoken much today but I knew she was just as shaken as me. Out of our family, we were the two people who were closer to Bella than the rest and we both knew that it would be harder for Bella to forgive us that it would be to forgive the others. "At lunch Bella basically stormed up to our table and made us realize how idiotic we were."

"Bella did that?" Mom said looking a bit shocked. Bella wasn't the type of person to go yell at people, initially we were all shocked too.

"Yeah, I know," Alice said quietly, leaning her head on Jasper's shoulder. "We were shocked too."

"Don't worry," Mom said. "It'll be okay. All you need to do is tell Bella how sorry and mistaken you were; and she'll take you back like this," she said snapping her fingers.

"No, Mom she won't. Words can't describe how stupid selfish and plain cruel we were to her, why in the _world _would she take us back?" I said, my head in my hands, completely defeated.

"I'll tell you why," she said, lifting my head up. "Because she loves you. She loves you guys too much to even consider loosing you. Why do you think she was so upset when you left her?"

"But Mom," I said recalling what Bella said at lunch. "She, herself, said that our friendship isn't what she thought it was."

"Oh please," Moms said waving her hand. "That was the just the anger speaking. Didn't you guys say that sort of stuff to her? You didn't mean it, it was just your anger making you say those things."

"Mom, Bella won't forgive me."

"Didn't you say that when you messed up before, when you blew up at her about Jacob?" she said, smiling at me.

"Wait, how did you know about that?" I said, astounded. None of us told anyone. _Or did they?_ I thought turning to glare at my siblings, who all shrugged and said that they didn't tell her.

"Oh please," she said slyly. "I know everything. Anyway, the important thing is, you thought she wasn't going to forgive you and what happened?"

"She forgave me."

"And you barely apologized, she just ran into your arms, did she not?"

"Yeah..." I said, still dazed that Mom knew so much about my life, although I've never told her a thing.

"Trust me," she said patting my knee with her hand. "She'll forgive you." After that Mom walked away, leaving us to our thoughts.

Even though the kind words of my mother was exactly what I needed, it still wasn't enough to calm me down and assure me everything was going to be okay.

"So what now?" I said, almost to myself, sighing exasperatedly.

"You apologize to her, you idiot!" Rose said smacking my head. I couldn't believe that they were naming me the culprit here. They all had a hand in it!

"Hey! Why are you acting like this was all _my _fault?" I said, turning and glaring at them.

"It's mainly your fault," she said smirking at me.

"True," I said. "So how do I apologize to her?"

"It's two words," she said. "_I'm sorry_" as she said that she held up two fingers and wiggled them about.

"I know!" Sometimes I got really irritated with Rosalie's know-it-all nature.

"Oh dear God," Rose said smacking her own forehead. "I do not know what Bella sees in you."

"Look now is not the time to go into that," I said, remembering their futile attempts to convince me that Bella was in love with me. _Yeah right, and the Sun revolves around the Earth._

"I mean like how can I do it?" I said. "I can't just climb through her bedroom window and go 'I'm sorry!' now can I?"

Rose didn't have the chance to say anything else because at that moment the doorbell rang. A small part of me was praying that it would be Bella. It was praying that she had realized how sorry we all were and came to take us all back. That was all fairytales though, _no one gets a happy ending in real life._

"Are you gonna go answer that or what?" Rosalie said in her usual annoying voice.

"What the fuck? Why should I-Oh fine I'll do it," I said, giving up, no one wins against Rosalie. Opening the door and being surprised was the understatement of the century. I was fucking shocked. I opened the door to find none other than Roslyn with _Sahaj. _I thought they were fighting?

"Come in guys," I said warily, taken aback that they were here _together._

"Hey," everyone greeted them as I led them to the living room.

"So.." I said sitting down opposite them, after they had both hugged Rosalie and Alice. _Why do girls do that? _"You guys worked everything out?"

"Yeah," Roslyn said. "And it's time you did too."

"I know," I said hanging my head.

"Guys, I just wanna apologize, I mean you wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for me and my 'great ideas'," she said making quotes in the air over 'great ideas'. There was something that shocked me. Sahaj was apologizing? She thought this was _her _fault. I guess we all hadn't got our heads straight in this situation.

"No, it's not your fault." I said reassuring her. "With or without you, this would have come out someday, and it would have been worse when it did." I said although I could not imagine it being any worse than it already was.

"It's funny," she said, smiling slightly. "Bella told me the _exact _same thing." It was strangely weird to hear some news about Bella. To talk to someone who was on speaking terms with her. She just felt so alien-like to me right then. She could talk to Bella and I couldn't. We had been shunned away from Bella so it was odd to hear from someone on the 'inside'.

"Really?" I said, lost in thought about Bella again.

"So, I guess it's safe to say that you _have _come to the realization that _you_ were wrong, not Bella?" Roslyn said, stating the obvious. I had the strongest urge to say '_Thank you Captain DUH_' but I refrained as I had been raised to be gentlemanly; although I hadn't done a very good job regarding what had happened with Bella.

"Yup," I said nodding. "What am I gonna do?"

"Grow some balls and apologize to her?" Sahaj hinted.

"But how? I can't just climb though her window and go 'I'm sorry'," I said repeating what I had said earlier to Rosalie; Sahaj simply raised an eyebrow at me.

**BPOV**

After apologizing to Mike once he came and pestered me _again, _I made my way towards the Gym block. Even though Mike was a complete douche and I meant everything I said to him, I still felt a bit mean so I had the urge to apologize to him. I had had enough of my bitchy side today.

As I was doing so, I heard a revving engine getting louder and louder. I looked up to find none other than Jacob. Jacob Black. In my school. On a bike. _Holy Shit_.

He motioned me to join him and I ran to him, sitting at the back, wrapping my arms around him after I asked Mike to tell Coach I had gone home sick.

"Where are we going?" I yelled in his ear as we were driving along the freeway.

"Does it matter?" he yelled back, laughing and I couldn't help but laugh too, his joy contagious. Riding on the bike, all that adrenaline pumping through me, I felt at the top of the world. I felt carefree. I felt _happy. _Jake always seemed to evoke that emotion out of me. With Edward it was a roller coaster of emotions, but Jake was constant. He was my safe zone.

After we rode on the bike for God knows how long we finally arrived at his house.

"Thank God," I said as I got off the bike. "That was fun and all but I was starting to get a wedgie." I said as I laughed.

"Oh well you better get used to it since it's not over yet," he said leading me to his garage where I saw another motorbike.

"You're kidding me," I said, my mouth agape.

"Nope, buckle up," he said as he threw the helmet at me. "You're riding solo on this thing."

After I had buckled up my helmet and Jake had wheeled the bikes to a deserted road, with a surprising amount of strength I might add, we got started.

"Are you sure about this Jake?" I said my voice wavering, I wasn't the most co-ordinated person so this was just a recipe for disaster.

"Yeah, you'll be fine!" he said while he held the bike still as I climbed on. I was taking deep breaths as Jake told me which thing was the race and which one was the clutch or whatever. I was too busy hyperventilating so I didn't catch a word he said.

"Ready?" he said as he let go of the bike so I could balance it myself.

"As I'll ever be," I said as revved up the engine and it felt surprisingly good. Even the sound was pumping adrenaline through my veins.

"Whoa," I gasped as I turned the handle and started forward.

"Yeah," Jake said smiling. I turned the handle and set off. It wasn't like disastrous as I thought it would be. The first few seconds went quite well, "Whoo!" I yelled as the wind was in my face and my heart was pumping loudly. It was exhilarating . It was the best feeling in the world I had ever experienced. That is until I lost control of the handlebars.

"Jake!" I yelled as the bike went haywire.

"The brakes Bella!" He yelled running after me, _like that was going to help. _I was speeding 50 mph and he was _running. _"The brakes!"

"Which ones are they?" I yelled back, not remembering anything from Jake's teach. I really regretted not listening to him right then. I went left and right before finally crashing into a rock and flying off the bike, hitting my head on another one.

"Whoa," I said feeling drowsy and numb as my vision faltered.

"Shit! Are you okay Bella?" Jake said running up to me, taking off his shirt and using it to dab at my forehead which apparently was bleeding.

"Do I fucking look okay Jacob?" I hissed, finally being hit by the pain. It was everywhere, I could feel it in my head, my arms, my legs, everywhere. _Screw you Jake._

I took the opportunity, as Jake was catering to my forehead, to check out his chest. _Man they were hot. _Nowhere near Edward though, no matter how much Edward may have hurt me, no one could compare to him. Even though there was pain with him, and heartbreak, there were also those magical moments, which made it all worth it. I felt safe with Jake, even though that was quite ironic right now since he was the reason I had fallen off and cracked open my skull, or that's what it felt like. Edward wasn't my safe zone, being with was breathtaking and exhilarating, a little adventure never hurt anyone.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up," he said lifting me up and putting my arm around his shoulders to support me.

After Jake had given me some painkillers and cleaned and bandaged up my wounds, I felt awake again.

"Wow who knew Jacob Black could serve as a part-time doctor," I said chuckling as we sat down on his couch to watch TV with a bag of sensations each.

"Well you get pretty trained if you have to do it everyday," he chuckled as he flicked through channels. "And Bella, I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking putting _you _on a bike." He said pointing at me.

"Jake, seriously it's fine, I could have managed to get these on my own anyway," I said inspecting the bandages. I had one cross-shaped one on the right of my forehead and a wide bandage on my right arm.

After chilling in his house and messing about, which included him fighting for my crisps which caused them to explode so no one ended up having them, I headed back home.

"Bye Billy!" I said as I hopped on the back of Jake's bike, so he could take me home which reminded me that my car was still at school.

"You douche!" I said as I thumped the back of Jake's head. "How the fuck am I supposed to get to school tomorrow?"

"I guess I'll have to take you then," he said turning back and winking at me while I simply slapped his back.

"Let's go," I said and we were speeding off to my house.

"See you tomorrow," Jake said smirking at me playfully.

"Yeah yeah," I said waving my hand above my head as I walked inside.

I quickly showered and changed into a tank and shorts, heading to bed. I needed rest after this emotionally tiring day. I put my headphones in and laid in bed, listening to music, trying to drift off to sleep, but I wasn't that lucky. I didn't know how long I had just laid there.

I was brought out of my trance why a tap. Then another. _And another._

"What the...?" I said, getting up, putting my flip flops on and walking over to the source of the noise. I opened my window to find the greek Adonis himself.

_Oh wow._

**AN- Okay sorry this took like a week to get up and im sorry. and WOW, a whole load more people reviewed! I should be all depressed more often huh ;)?**

**Well i actually have the next chapter written so review and it'll go up quick ;)**

**Check out the outfits and chapter art.**

**Ciao and well i DO like to leave you on cliff hanger, aren't i evil? ;) Oh and happy birthday to Lydia Falzon Lowther!**

**Review and check out the art xD Up on my profile (:**

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